12 Steps

Avoiding Burnout in Addiction Recovery Work

Working in with needy people can be overwhelming at times. Staff members of outreach ministries are surrounded daily by those in need and they often struggle with limited time and resources to help them. So, learning the art of “self-care” is essential. The key to this is developing healthy attitudes toward our ministries and ourselves. Here are a few tips that can help you to avoid “burn-out” and find more joy and fulfillment in the work of the Lord:

    A. Learn to Detach – Whenever we’re focusing our energies on people and problems, we have little, if any time for care and nurturing of self, and meeting our own legitimate needs. We must remember that it is God who does the real work in the lives of hurting people. This helps to take a little of the load of responsibility off our own shoulders.

    B. Learn to Practice “Professional Distance” – This does not mean being callous or uncaring toward those whom we help. It does mean keeping good boundaries between ourselves and our clients. It means not becoming so wrapped up in their lives that we carry their struggles home with us at night. Over-involvement can cloud our decision-making process to the point where we end up playing “favorites.” This will jeopardize our relationships with our other clients. We cannot assume responsibility for the decisions our clients make.

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Setting Aside Our Will

1 Corinthians 13:5a RSV
[Love] is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way…

  • Love is not arrogant or rude.

      • The KJV translates this phrase: “Charity (love) doth not behave itself unseemly.” This certainly isn’t a phrase that we use much anymore. In fact, to be honest, we’re not very concerned at all about behaving in a courteous or seemly manner in our society. To behave “seemly” is to conform one’s behavior to standards of conduct and good taste. As our moms used to say, it means simply to behave properly and according to good manners.

      So the scripture here is actually more than just not being arrogant or rude, though I truly believe that rudeness is motivated by arrogance, the idea that it’s “my way or the highway.” When we are arrogant, we do what we want and say what we want without regard to the effects that it might have on other people. In other words, we simply don’t care about anyone else (at that moment), only about ourselves, our rights, our opinions, our own actions.

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Biblical References for the 12 Steps (Short Version)

Note: all quotes are from the King James Version (KJV). If you have difficulty understanding the KJV we strongly recommend that you get a copy of a more modern language Bible such as The New Life Version Bible, New King James Version, New Revised Standard Version, Today’s English Version, The Message, etc.

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and dysfunctions and that our lives had become unmanageable.

–For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing:
for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is
good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil
which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not,
it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. –Romans 7:18-20

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The Battle (Satan vs. Christ)

When Jesus was taken down from the cross,
Satan called his counselors in.
He called the meeting to order and looked own at the three,

And the first that he called on was Sin.
“Oh Sin, you’ve let me down this time.
Why couldn’t you pull Him away?
For thirty-three years you tried, and you failed.
Not once did He falter or stray.
Then He picked you up like a little whipped pup
And took you to Calvary with Him.
Then He knocked you down with one single punch
And paid for the sins of all men.”

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The Poet’s Sonnet (A Withered Leaf)

A withered leaf upon a bough
Held fast against the wind,
Doctors passed and learned men,
But none had time to spend.

Yet someone stands with pen in hand
To write the things he sees,
That all the world might see the leaf
And feel the Autumn breeze.

I cannot take a dying child
And help her find relief,
But I can see the hand of God
Upon a withered leaf.

The world beholds what greatness brings,
But poets see the little things.

Copyright 2000, Bob H. Cook.
All rights reserved.
Used by Permission

Used by permission.

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Symptoms of Inner Peace

  1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences

  2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment

  3. A loss of interest in judging other people
  4. A loss of interest in judging self
  5. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
  6. A loss of interest in conflict
  7. A loss of ability to worry
  8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
  9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others & nature
  10. Frequent attacks of smiling
  11. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen

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Restoration Through Making Amends (Part 2)

See: Part 1

In his book, Staying Sober, Terence Gorksi shares a simple exercise that creates a workable “road map” for the process of making amends. On a sheet of paper, draw lines to make three columns. In the left column, list those who were hurt by my drinking/drug addiction. In the center one, list how they were hurt in very specific terms. And, in the right, list what must be done to make amends with them. A final step in the process is to determine who can and cannot be contacted and to develop a chronological list of those who will be contacted.

The second half of Step 9 offers a warning – there are certain people to whom we should not attempt to make amends. This is because doing so could actually be more harmful than doing nothing. In Step 8 the focus in on a list of all those to whom one is willing to make amends. Step 9 involves talking real action to restore relationships. This requires much more discretion. Here are things to consider from the Serenity New Testament:

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Abuse: It’s Deceptions, Forms & Healing

As we already know, abuse can come in many forms: physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, financial, spiritual and so on. For the most part, it is you that is the victim or survivor of abuse. But what if the abuser is you? How do you deal with the fact that you are an abuser yourself? Do you blame it on being abused yourself? Is it a result of growing up watching your parents while one abuses the other? How do you change your behaviour? Do you want to change your behaviour? There are many questions regarding when you are the abuser and there are many roads to choose from of which to travel down. Also, what if you are not the abuser, but the person being abused? What are your options? What actions should you take to end the violence?

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Restoration Though Making Amends (Part 1)

If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. (Matthew 5:23, 24)

A rescue mission counselor asked me to talk with a man who had returned to their recovery program for the third time. Despite completing their program twice, he was unable to remain sober for more than a few months. Not too far into our discussion, I recognized he had not been able to develop the healthy sort of relationships essential for continued growth in recovery. Fearful of becoming too involved with others, he could not experience the joy of meaningful, fulfilling relationships. I asked him, “Have you ever done the 8 & 9 Steps?” His answer of “No” made perfect sense. Like many newly recovering people, he still carried a load of guilt and remorse from unresolved past relationships. Thus, he could not move forward with confidence to make new intimate relationships. He needed to clean up the residue of his past first.

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Prayer: No Greater Gift, No Greater Service

Philippians 4:6 NRSV
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

I have a wonderful adopted aunt. (My parents were both only children, so I didn’t have any aunts or uncles by blood). She has now gone Home, but while on earth, she was a girlie-girl if ever there was one. I can’t ever remember her wearing pants . . . ever! She was always in a dress, with heels (at least small ones), her hair done up in curls, beautiful jewelry. She was a minister of God, speaking and writing music, traveling all over the world telling others about God. Today, I read something she wrote and saw these words:

“I find myself praying, ‘Oh, God, let me be there when someone needs me!'”

I almost laughed. My wonderful aunt was marvelous at speaking and at music, but she was totally inept at cooking, cleaning, fixing, doing. Almost anything that required more than a piano or a pen. Who could she help? She couldn’t fix a meal, mend a dress, change a tire, even pick up a box to help someone move.

And then I read on. She wrote:

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