Wife

Family Doesn’t Come Easily

Proverbs 17:17 NRSV
A friend loves at all times,
and kinsfolk are born to share adversity.

These days everything is throw-away. We love our fast food disposable society. Our cars break down; we buy new ones. Our homes need remodeling; we buy bigger ones. Our relationships sour; we find new “families.” We’ve lost an important sense of investment in life. Rather than invest, we throw out. And we fail to learn many important lessons when we live like this. We also may find ourselves on the short end of the stick when adversity strikes because we won’t have established the kind of relationships and skills that are necessary to persevere through the hard times.

Family Doesn’t Come Easily Read More »

Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse

I clearly remember the day my wife, Liz, told me that she had been sexually abused as a child.

We were watching TV and I could tell she wasn’t really interested in the show.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, unaware that her answer would turn my world upside down.

“My stepfather sexually abused me when I was a child,” Liz said.

There was a long period of silence as I searched for something to say. Here I was, suddenly presented with a startling revelation. I was dumbfounded.

Liz stared at me, waiting for a reaction.

Questions began to flood my thoughts. I really didn’t know what to think.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Why would your stepfather do such a thing?”

Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse Read More »

Understanding and Living our Relationships According to God

… diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Who do we have relationships with? What are our most important relationships? How should we handle our relationships with others? Is our interaction with others pleasing to God?

Who do we have relationships with?

    1. God/Christ
    2. Spouse
    3. Children
    4. Extended family (parents, grandparents, uncles, nieces — etc)
    5. Friends
    6. Co-workers and acquaintances

What are our most important relationships? (In this order)

    1. God / Jesus Christ
    2. Spouse
    3. Children
    4. Family
    5. Friends/Others

Understanding and Living our Relationships According to God Read More »

Women & Substance Abuse

  • Although women drink less than men, the number of women who do drink is significant. Estimates indicate that of the 15.1 million people who abuse alcohol or are alcohol-dependent, 4.6 million are women. That means that roughly one-third of alcoholics are women.
  • The number of women who report using illicit drugs is alarming, although women are less likely to use illicit drugs than men. Five percent of women and 8 percent of men report having used illicit drugs during the last 30 days.

  • In 1989, 43 percent of drug abuse patients admitted to emergency rooms were female and 56 percent were male.
  • Cigarette use among women has decreased at the rate of about 1 percent each year since 1985. Use during the last 30 days by women was at 24.2 percent in 1990, down from a 1985 figure of 28.1 percent.
  • Women who drink heavily or are alcoholic are more likely to become victims of the alcohol-related aggression of others, such as date rape.
  • Drinking varies among women of different racial or ethnic backgrounds. African American women were more likely to abstain from drinking alcohol (66.9 percent) than White women (52.6 percent) during the month prior to their interview.

Women & Substance Abuse Read More »

What is Wisdom and How do We Acquire it?

We know there are a lot of broken, miserable, angry, sad, frustrated, married couples who are not living their marriage in the “ways of the Lord”. Every day they trudge in their daily routine barely able to take another day. When we are going through such issues in our marriage, such as being married to an abusive alcoholic, or married to a unfaithful man or woman we only see as clear as our feelings will let us see. This is not enough to repair damage done to the marriage.

We have to go beyond our feelings and emotions and try to understand what is happening in our marriage so we can do something about it in the spiritual way and not through how we are feeling about it. It’s difficult to do but it is what NEEDS to be done. If we continue in our own perspective by “how we are feeling” we truly do not grow spiritually and we stay within our own private little world of emotions.

This is where wisdom comes into the picture. As scripture says, we have to throw off everything that hinders us or lay aside every weight that is keeping us from seeing clearly so we can win the race; this includes how we are feeling, which may be ill will and resentment towards our spiritually sick spouse and other loved ones. Feelings are ok to have, we need to experience our feelings, but we also need to recognize when our feelings become stumbling blocks in our growth with God.

    …let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1

What is Wisdom and How do We Acquire it? Read More »

Adultery Bible Study (Part 2)

See: Part 1

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis. God doesn’t forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people’s lives physically and spiritually. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful and selfish desires than Him.

The key to faithfulness is putting Christ’s principles to work in our life and trusting in the Holy Spirit within us with our temptations. When we have temptations and ungodly thoughts we need to put our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. We have to communicate our burdens to God through prayer. Only when we put our trust in Him will He help us.

Basing Our Lives on Own Understanding and Wisdom

Adultery Bible Study (Part 2) Read More »

Adultery Bible Study (Part 1)

See: Part 2

“We have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28

Jesus came to fulfill the Old Testament laws, not abolish them. Simply telling someone to not commit adultery is preaching to the choir. We all know that adultery is a sin and yet we still commit adultery. Jesus went a step further then just telling us to not commit adultery; He taught that to desire a woman (or a man) in a lustful way is wrong and is considered mental adultery. The problem lies within our belief system.

What we “do” is a symptom of “how” we think.

Adultery Bible Study (Part 1) Read More »

Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal)

If you find yourself losing the joy in your life
And your blessing is more like a curse
And you wonder what’s wrong with that sweet little girl
That you’ve taken for better or worse,

You look at her now and hear yourself say,
“A11 she does is gripe and complain.”
But maybe if you took a look at yourself,
You would find what exactly has changed.

Now, you didn’t used to call on that girl
With chicken hanging out of your teeth,
Your pants undone and your hair not combed
With whiskers you’ve had for a week.

You’d take three baths and put on cologne,
Shine your shoes and wax your car.
Then, you’d stand at a mirror and work on your hair
Till you looked like a Hollywood star.

Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal) Read More »

Do You Love Jesus Christ with Sincerity? (Unanswered Prayer)

Grace be with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen. Ephesians 6:24

People email us and tell us that they are praying every day, seeking God’s will for their marriage, reading all the articles on the ministry, going to church, and yet nothing changes in their marriage. Some of these people become very discouraged because they want to see positive change in their spouse and marriage. Where are the blessings?

For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight wisdom, and knowledge, and joy! Ecclesiastes 2:26

Wisdom, knowledge and joy are blessings given to us when we live our lives to please God and not ourselves. Do you have Godly wisdom, knowledge and joy in your life?

There are several reasons why we do not see blessings in our life and marriage. You see, we are not on our own time schedule; we are on Gods time schedule, meaning, no matter how often, or how much you

Do You Love Jesus Christ with Sincerity? (Unanswered Prayer) Read More »

How to Love Your Spouse

Why do married people need encouragement to love, or have to be told how to love their spouse?

Most married people do not know how to love — they have lost the ability to, or never had the ability to truly love another. Love is all about sacrifice and giving of ourselves. Love is not “what can I get out of this relationship or circumstance or predicament.

Our relationship with Jesus Christ gives us the ability to love others in the right ways. If we do not have a personal relationship with Christ we will have a difficult time understanding the proper ways to love our spouse.

How to Love Your Spouse Read More »