We know there are a lot of broken, miserable, angry, sad, frustrated, married couples who are not living their marriage in the “ways of the Lord”. Every day they trudge in their daily routine barely able to take another day. When we are going through such issues in our marriage, such as being married to an abusive alcoholic, or married to a unfaithful man or woman we only see as clear as our feelings will let us see. This is not enough to repair damage done to the marriage.
We have to go beyond our feelings and emotions and try to understand what is happening in our marriage so we can do something about it in the spiritual way and not through how we are feeling about it. It’s difficult to do but it is what NEEDS to be done. If we continue in our own perspective by “how we are feeling” we truly do not grow spiritually and we stay within our own private little world of emotions.
This is where wisdom comes into the picture. As scripture says, we have to throw off everything that hinders us or lay aside every weight that is keeping us from seeing clearly so we can win the race; this includes how we are feeling, which may be ill will and resentment towards our spiritually sick spouse and other loved ones. Feelings are ok to have, we need to experience our feelings, but we also need to recognize when our feelings become stumbling blocks in our growth with God.
- …let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1
If we do not throw off what is weighing us down we will not be able to see clearly to change our selves/attitude and then we are just as bad off spiritually as they are. We all have different weights that hinder our growth in the Lord. One person may have selfishness, while another addiction, and another pride, while another may have unforgiveness in their heart. All of these things hinder us to do God’s will. I know it is hard to not “feel” hurt, especially when a spouse harms us in some way, but we must get passed the pain to heal ourselves and to live our lives pleasing God.
Yes, that’s right, “please God”; even if a spouse is abusing us with words, or being unfaithful in the marriage, we must not allow them to intervene with our personal growth process, and or with our healing process in the Lord?
Scripture teaches us to “bear in patience” with the unbelieving spouse. Only in very rare instances should we actually have to separate ourselves from the unbeliever, such as if they are behaving in violent ways or continuous spiritual trespass of some sort.
If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 1 Corinthians 7:12
And the woman, which hath an husband that believeth not and he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 1 Corinthians 7:13
What is wisdom?
Many people have wisdom but there are two kinds of wisdom; wisdom from God and wisdom from our education/self. Unfortunately, a lot of good Christian people put their faith in humanistic institutions for inner healing and as hard as it may seem to believe “man cannot heal a person’s soul”; this is totally a job for our Father in Heaven through His son Jesus Christ!
- For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward. 2 Corinthians 1:12
Again, some people may think that being intellectually smart is wisdom but here again that is fleshly wisdom; it is not the same thing. The Christian life is not about personal achievements, education, certificates, money, career, status, and blah, blah, blah, it’s about living your life for God, which means when your marriage is going through difficulties and you put your faith in “educational wisdom sources” or “fleshly wisdom” such as counselors, psychologists, rehab centers is not going to change anything, at least not in the long run.
We may find encouragement from someone in these institutions but they cannot run the race marked out for us by God. This is something that we must do on our own through our relationship with Jesus Christ.
If you have faith and trust that God will heal you and make you whole in Him then you have wisdom.
Wisdom from God is a gift
For God who commanded the light to shine out of the darkness hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6
- Wisdom is understanding your Christian walk and then living it. That’s also faith.
- Wisdom is understanding your purpose for marriage and living it. This is also faith
- Wisdom is understanding the principles God has shared with you. Only those people with faith apply Gods ways into their life
- Wisdom is applying God’s counsel into your life and marriage every day, every minute
- Wisdom is putting your faith in Jesus Christ
- Wisdom is knowing and believing that God loves you
- Wisdom IS loving God with all of your heart and mind by living your marriage for HIM!
Simply saying these things to others and doing these outward appearance things , “I go to church”, I believe in God”, “I read my bible”, “I tithe once a week”, “I give to the poor”, so on and so forth is not going to save you. These are things that anyone can do, murderers, adulteresses, thieves, prideful people, alcoholics, swindlers, etc; they all do those things too.
We do these things and then we go home and treat our spouse badly. We do those things and then go home and can’t give any good-will to our family. We do all the outward things that make it “look” like we are good people, but then we don’t know how to treat our neighbors!
- If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that gives to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5
How many people do you know that “claim Christianity” are really walking in God’s wisdom for their lives? It takes faith to walk in wisdom and only those with faith will be blessed with wisdom.
Wisdom is not acquired by going to school, or reading the newspaper; wisdom is not acquired by “going to church” or becoming involved in a political cause or becoming political; you cannot find wisdom by listening to Donald Trump or Rush Limbaugh. These things actually deter our walk in Jesus Christ by steering us away from what is good and right…true wisdom comes from God.
The world and everything in it is enticing and if we don’t watch out it will suck us in…
Too many people are wondering around in this world acting like they are God. We god our marriage; we god our children, we god our friends; and we god our entire life; we are so important that we cannot come off of the pedestal we are now standing on; we think our accomplishments, career and money make us to be something bigger than we really are; but without God’s wisdom filled ways we are far from big; we are small without Jesus Christ.
We are nothing without Jesus Christ.
God’s Holy Word talks a lot about wisdom– because to know God is to have wisdom. To love God is to have wisdom. We cannot truly LOVE GOD if we do not have wisdom. Without wisdom we cannot LIVE FOR HIM!
How Do We Acquire Wisdom
Step off the pedestal and stop godding your life. Give your marriage troubles to Jesus Christ…treat your marriage problems with wisdom from God…stop looking out into the world for marriage help when it is within you to make a difference in your marriage. Do not let the world deceive you because it will; remember there are two different kinds of wisdom. Ask yourself next time you think you are helping your spouse or your marriage, “am I using fleshly wisdom or wisdom that comes from God?”
Understanding God’s Wisdom for our Lives
- And unto man he (God) said, “Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.” Job 28:28
People who think “I’m saved” do not fear the LORD- something is missing there. You’re not saved until you’re saved.
- “I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thous shalt not stumble. Take fast hold of instruction let her not go: keep her; for she is they life.” Proverbs 4:11-13
God is letting us know that if we put our faith in Him and follow Him, we will not stumble. Many of us are stumbling because we are putting our faith in fleshly wisdom.
- Therefore, whosoever heareth these saying of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock. Matthew 7:24
The rest of the parable is the foolish man builds his house NOT ON the ROCK of JESUS CHRIST but on the sand of fleshly wisdom; and we all know what happens next, right? Well, the rains descended (marriage troubles), and the floods came (more marriage problems), and the winds blew, (no faith in Jesus) and the house crumbled to the ground (fleshly divorce).
- Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not onto thine own understanding. IN all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they path. Be not wise in thine own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7
If we keep looking for wisdom within our own understanding we will NEVER find it. This is what most people do for their marriage; they think that somehow they have the answers to make everything right but the world has deceived them.
- Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom and with all thy getting get understanding. Proverbs 4:5-7
Bottom line: God is wisdom – He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul… Proverbs 19:8
Free eBook – Resource on wisdom
Discovering Wisdom in a Foolish World
(clicking on the link will begin the download process. If you are having trouble downloading this ebook (exe file) let us know and I will send you the PDF version.)