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I am the world’s worst transgressor
I have murdered millions
I have made people failures
I have made millions of homes miserable
I have changed promising people into hopeless social parasites
I have driven untold millions to despair
I have wasted the weak
I have snared the innocent
I have caused starving children to know me
I have made the hair turn gray on many parents
I have ruined millions and shall seek to yet ruin multiplied millions
My Name is Addiction
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World’s Greatest Benefactor
I have given life to millions
I have made failures successful I have made millions of homes happy
World’s Worst Transgressor Read More »
“Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” Luke 12:2
“Fight Club” is a powerful film, cemented within pop culture. It’s notorious, in particular, for the famous line of its main character, Tyler Durden’s, often quoted within our society…
“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”
And it got me thinking about secrecy.
As Sick as Our Secrets Read More »
Years ago, there was a popular song, “Feelings.”
As the lyrics go, “feelings, nothing more than feelings…whoa…whoa…whoa…”
(It’s bad Karaoke, let me tell ya).
Anyway, I’ve been giving some thought to the feelings factor. I’ve seen how it has done some damage in my own life. Temper tantrums, crying jags, meltdowns of epic proportion- whatever you want to call them – feelings, let’s be real, rarely lead us to make great decisions which improve our lives.
But wreck our lives? Well, that’s a different story.
For those of us in recovery, for those of us coming from abuse, the feelings thing is a tricky course to navigate. In my case, because feelings weren’t safe in my home, growing up, I learned to suppress, stuff, until…boom! Explosion happened. Not a good coping mechanism.
And so, a girl of extremes, when life moved on, I was determined to fully express my feelings whenever I had them. Oh yeah. This was fun and games. No one was going to control me!
Hence, I was OUT of control.
The cliché in life is true: it’s about balance and moderation. And that was NOT something I was good at. I was not good at dealing, in a healthy with my emotions.
Scripture tells us, like it or not, we all need to do this:
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23
Years after the immediate damage of both my eating disorders and my childhood abuse, God has patiently- and gradually- led me into honestly looking at my heart, the factory producing all of these blessed feelings in the first place.
Is Your Finger on the Feelings Button? Read More »
I must admit, my favorite question is “why?”
I ask it a lot: of God, of others, of myself, of life.
And yes, I ask the why question concerning the tricky addiction/recovery issue.
Author, Jonathan Lockwood Huie really takes that matter to task, using two words.
“Urgent? Why?”
It’s not merely a question; it’s a statement… about the significance of urgency.
And this is right up addiction’s alley. The fix driving the addiction- why?
Why is this my answer?
Why will this solve things?
Why will nothing else do?
Why must I be instantly healed?
It is that last question which brought two scripture passages to my mind: Jairus’ daughter and Lazarus.
Urgent? Why?? Read More »
Visualize this scenario. There’s a car ride going on, containing one or two parents/adults and at least one child in the backseat. The child’s view consists of the following: the back of the driver’s and passenger side seat, perhaps, some toys, games or word puzzle books, strewn throughout. Maybe, depending upon the vehicle, there’s even a Disney film being played on a television screen, just above Mommy or Daddy’s head. We should be hearing the voice of an animated character or the chirp of an irritating child’s song. But, instead, what do we hear?
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
Does this sound familiar?
If you have children or remember being one yourself, you’re probably familiar with this nagging, repetitive question:
Are we there yet?
We want to get there already, wherever “there” is.
“Unto a land flowing with milk and honey…” Exodus 3:8; 33:3
It’s the Promised Land, filled with conscientious manners, harmonious relationships, well-behaved children, realized dreams and no bad hair days.
Patience: Are we there yet? Read More »
It is a challenge to become an active listener until you understand how years of denial, manipulating others, chemical use and other negative consequences have become the foundation of your distorted listening. You have become deaf to the reality of what you hear. Your addiction has become a filter that prevents you from hearing the truth. People talk about what you have become. You do not make sense when you talk so nobody listens to you.
Listening becomes a threat and you convince yourself that nobody will understand you because they will not listen to your version of your life as an addict or alcoholic. When you are deaf, to the reality of addiction, the delusions and paranoid ideas you create in you head become the reality that is your life. You become the delusions and distortion because you
Learning to Listen Read More »
“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”
Jeremiah 32:27
I recently caught the 1960 Academy Award winning film, “The Miracle Worker.” It portrays the relationship of Helen Keller and that of her groundbreaking teacher, Annie Sullivan.
Most of us know the basics to the story. Helen Keller was blind, deaf and mute and, before Sullivan’s arrival, seemingly hopeless in her circumstances. If she could not see, hear or speak, how could she ever communicate, let alone, live in the world?
The situation looked bleak.
That was until Sullivan’s arrival…
Who or What is Your Miracle Worker? Read More »
A large part of my recovery process involves using the word “no.” Indeed, saying “yes” gotten me into more trouble and disease than standing in my own okay-ness with stating it simply, but firmly.
My eating disorder experiences were driven by an insatiable need for perfection, approval and to be pleasing at all cost. So, “no” became a dirty little word. After all, a girl, filled with sugar and spice, should be completely fulfilled with making other people happy.
Right?
Wrong.
The Power of “No!” Read More »
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