Guidance

He is an Alcoholic and Asked Me to Marry Him. What Can I Expect?Premium Content

Ask Angie: The alcoholic man I love, is kind, smart, funny and spiritual. He has to drink most days. He can't have 1 or 2 beers. When he drinks, he drinks until he is drunk. Then he becomes the other man I live with. Verbally demanding to the point of abuse. He complains he does not get enough attention or sex, that he needs it every day. I love him, but I am worn out. My friends and family think he is a great man. He works hard, he loves his children and me more than anything.... he has only 1 fault... he is an alcoholic. He has asked me to marry him... I can't commit until he proves our relationship comes first, not alcohol. I have detached. I don't argue or fuss. I just calmly just let him know that I will marry him, when "he" is ready.

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What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?Premium Content

What does a wife need from her husband? I can't answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? It's not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.

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Why Do Marriages Fail?Premium Content

Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don't work the program, we won't know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will fail the marriage class.

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV

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The "Musts" of the Big Book

The following are quotes from the book Alcohlics Anonymous (also known as The Big Book).

"Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us." Big Book, page 164

How Can I Trust My Husband Again?Premium Content

Ask Angie: I am finding it hard to trust my husband again. We've been married for 31 years. this Valentine's day and in year 28 I found out he was heavily into drugs, which he now claims to be free of, but I still have a hard time believing him because of the extent he wants to hide his use. All the lies, deceit, and now the unwillingness to discuss it with me, leaves me with many unanswered questions.

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How Can We Balance Recovery and Our Marriage? Premium Content

Ask Angie: Hello friend in Christ...just wanted to tell you my husband and I have been having issues for a while now. He is in recovery and I am not (although I am not an addict) I need Alanon in my life but find it hard to arrange a ride (no car) and sitter for my 6 yr. old. My husband lives three houses away from our home. I try not to hassle him about time with us but he seems to need time with the AA family more and we really need him to show us emotionally he cares to keep the family together too. I understand he has to stay sober to be a dad/husband of any kind, but to me there is a huge vacancy in our life. I love him with all my heart. We need counseling terribly and church makes me so happy. I'm without a vehicle so life is kind of challenging now.

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Living with an Alcoholic: A Healthy DetachmentPremium Content

The best thing you can do when dealing with an alcoholic spouse is to detach from the abuse of the alcoholic. You can do this if you truly love your spouse and want to help them to possible sobriety. The more you focus all your energies on the alcoholic, the less likely he is to get sober. This article focuses on how you can detach and remain healthy mentally.

Don’t Make Alcoholism Your Problem

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Taking Step 4

When I was first told about making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself I was filled with FEAR. And then to admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs -- YIKES! Where to start??

Instead of starting with me, I think it starts with God and His Word. We need to hear, read and study scripture. By doing this we learn what God wants us to be--what His standards for us are. We must make ourselves available to God through meditation, prayer and by serving Him rather than our own needs, material desires, and lusts.

A Pastor's Letter to His Daughter

This is an excerpt from a letter from Legh Richmond (1772-1827) to one of his daughters. We all can be instructed by these words.

My dear daughter,
May my dear child be preserved from the defilements of a vain, dangerous, and destroying world. You know not, and I wish you never may know--its snares and corruptions!

I send you the following applications of my sermon on Ephesians 5:15-16, "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil."

On circumspection of walk, redemption of time, and general sincerity of character:

1. Adhere most scrupulously to Scriptural truth; and labor to preserve the strictest integrity, simplicity, and sincerity.

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