Marriage

Alcoholic Spouse Verbal Abuse and Mind Games

Ask Angie: My spouse abuses alcohol on a nightly basis and then uses verbal abuse and mind games which upset me greatly. When I arrive home from work tired and ready to rest, my spouse is ready to drink, argue and fuss. I do not remember the last time I was able to get a full night of rest. My spouse is bitter, chooses not to forgive and blames me for the drinking. I pray constantly for God is my only refuge. We go to church and it used to be that my spouse would not drink the day of services but now that doesn’t seem to matter. My spouse finds something negative each day against me in order to have yet another excuse to stop and pick up the alcohol she abuses the remainder of the evening. Thanks for any assistance and for your prayers.

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Why Jealousy Hurts So Much

Jealousy is a very powerful emotion and if left unattended it can literally wreck havoc in our relationships and marriage. Why do we get jealous of our spouse? Why does jealousy hurt so badly? Jealousy hurts because we feel this emotion usually after our spouse has harmed us in some way. But sometimes we feel jealous for no reason whatsoever and this is very harmful to our relationships.

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How Do I Stop Being a Jealous Wife?

Ask Angie: How do I stop being a jealous wife?

Marriage Guidance: Jealousy is a strong, negative emotion that can create sin in our lives. Our heavy-laden emotions literally keep us away from God because we’re so wrapped up within our feelings that we are living for them instead of for God.

I know this first hand because I’ve been there and done that already. I used to be addicted to my emotions. I kept myself depressed and resent-filled within my own little world. I talk about this in my personal testimony Journey on the Roads Less Traveled.

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Repair Marriage With Your Attitude

Did you know that throughout the bible Jesus teaches us about principled acts of love? What are principled acts of love and are we living by principled acts of love for our life now? Sometimes we have to do what is right rather than what feels good. If we only do what feels good and what we want, we’re not going to be very popular with others, especially the person we married. This kind of marriage will be heading straight for divorce court, won’t it? Some of the wrong attitudes we have, and how they can lead us to sinfulness is carried out in our actions, which can cause problems in our relationships.

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Reflections on Alcoholism (Living with an Alcoholic)

It’s never easy living with an alcoholic. Sometimes we try so hard to live with the alcoholic that we end up enabling them to drink. The problem is we don’t see the alcoholic as being sick but someone we don’t like to be around when they are drinking.

If they were in bed sick with the flu we would know how to care for them, but when they are drunk sick there is nothing we can do, other than watch them drink themselves to oblivion. Sometimes we take it personally and think they drink so much because of something we have done, but we shouldn’t blame ourselves for the addictions in other people.

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Loving Your Alcoholic Wife

If anyone knows what it’s like to live with an alcoholic wife it would be my husband, who for several years, battled with my addiction with me. That’s right, he battled alcoholism with me. Because I have been sober for fifteen years I can write about addiction with confidence. Alcoholism is a family affair and without knowing how to handle addiction, being married to an alcoholic is an ongoing battle. It does not matter who is the alcoholic, wife or husband – what matters is how you handle the affects. If your wife is an alcoholic there is great hope in her recovery by how you manage the addiction.

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The Alcoholic Christian

Alcoholism is running rampant today, even in Christian’s homes! Scripture tells us we are not to get drunk on too much wine because it causes sin. But the bible says a believer in Christ is saved through the death of Jesus. Does that mean the alcoholic Christian is saved too? Understand that living a righteous life in Jesus Christ is what gives the Christian eternal life. Being “saved” is a rebirth process and lifestyle change from walking in darkness to walking in the light. Do you think an alcoholic walks in the light or in the dark? Ok, then, there’s your answer.

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Ephesians 5:18 NIV

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He is an Alcoholic and Asked Me to Marry Him. What Can I Expect?

Ask Angie: The alcoholic man I love, is kind, smart, funny and spiritual. He has to drink most days. He can’t have 1 or 2 beers. When he drinks, he drinks until he is drunk. Then he becomes the other man I live with. Verbally demanding to the point of abuse. He complains he does not get enough attention or sex, that he needs it every day. I love him, but I am worn out. My friends and family think he is a great man. He works hard, he loves his children and me more than anything…. he has only 1 fault… he is an alcoholic. He has asked me to marry him… I can’t commit until he proves our relationship comes first, not alcohol. I have detached. I don’t argue or fuss. I just calmly just let him know that I will marry him, when “he” is ready.

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Anger: Sinful or Righteous?

Proverbs 22:8 NKJV
He who sows wickedness reaps trouble,
and the rod of his fury will be destroyed.

Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity, and the rod of anger will fail. (NRSV)

Anger rarely works. There are places for righteous anger, but as sinners, we need to be careful about why we are angry. Righteous anger can quickly move into selfish or self-centered anger. And then we are in trouble.

Injustice is an interesting word. I think that, as Americans, we often see it in a narrow view, as someone’s rights being violated. And that’s a true meaning. But I think there is another view and that is as God’s rights being violated . . . as in sin.

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Relationships: My “Rights” or God’s Will

Proverbs 21:9 NRSV
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a contentious wife.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 NRSV

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 NRSV

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