ANON (Those Who Love Dysfunctional People)

The 12 Steps for Those Who Love an Alcoholic

1. We admitted we were powerless over the lives of our loved ones.

2. We came to believe that Christ could change our way of thinking.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and lives over to Christ, COMPLETELY.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of OURSELVES.

5. We admitted to Christ, ourselves, and to another person the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to have Christ remove all these defects
of character.

7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Help for Friends & Family of Alcoholics

It can be hard having a loved one who is an alcoholic. Those
who do often struggle with these issues:

  • Worrying about how much someone drinks
  • Having money problems because of someone else's drinking
  • Telling lies to cover up for someone else's drinking
  • Feeling that the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you
  • Blaming the drinker's behavior on his or her companions
  • Having plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker
  • Making threats, such as, "If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave you."
  • Secretly try to smell the drinker's breath
  • Fear of confronting someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout

We Are Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

According to Triumph Over Darkness: Understanding and Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Wood, Wendy A. Beyond Words Publishing. April, 1993.

    1. We grew up feeling very isolated and vulnerable, a feeling that continues into our adult lives.

    2. Our early development has been interrupted by abuse, which either holds us back or pushes us ahead developmentally.

    3. Sexual abuse has influenced all parts of our lives. Not dealing with it is like ignoring an open wound. Our communication style, our self-confidence, and our trust levels are affected.

Perception - a Major Element of Addiction

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he... Proverbs 23:7

I like to play with words and phrases. A particular one recently popped up in my mind: "the benefit of the doubt."

We've heard this expression before. It denotes largesse, a generosity to not write off a person or circumstance so quickly. As it rolled around in my spirit, its opposite phrase sprung to life: the detriment of certainty.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Phyical, Spiritual & Sexual Abuse Workshop Transcript #3 (of 4)Premium Content

Transcript for Session #1
Transcript for Session #2
member #1 member #2 would you like to open us in prayer today?

member #2 sure
Gracious God
thank You for Divora and her willingness to share her journey with us
we are not made to struggle alone
and CIR helps with that so much
bless this time together
may we leave here with more than we came with
in Your name
amen

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Spiritual, Emotional & Sexual Abuse Workshop Transcript #2 (of 4)Premium Content

Transcript for Session #1

Obie Welcome everyone Session #2 of our workshop
Spiritual, Emotional & Sexual Abuse Workshop: Connecting the Dots of our Disconnected Lives
Finding Healing Through Cooperating with God
(Healing is not instantaneous, there are actions we need to take, attitudes we need to work on. God is our strength and He helps us, but His help requires OUR response)

There is a handout for this session
you may download it HERE if you have not done so already

Without further adieu, I hand the mic over to DvoraElisheva who is leading out workshop

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The New Year: With the Hope?

"In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."
~Lewis Carol, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"

The new year: it is a minefield. There can be this weird concoction of hope and discouragement, effort and apathy.

A social media post, once again, caught my attention concerning this point. It was of the literary figure, Alice, from Carol's classic work, essentially binging.

And this was the image's caption...

"I can relate to Alice. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking everything she sees with the hope that it might actually solve all her problems."

Are You a Slave of Fear?

"...We have heard a voice of trembling, of fear, and not of peace." Jeremiah 30:5


"Fear" is spoken of over 500 times in the Bible. So, to me, that signifies it's a topic worth noting.

I believe the 1980's science fiction film, "Bladerunner" makes a powerful statement on fear.

There are various discussions about the story and the complexity of the Roy Batty character in particular. He's often viewed as the villain. But, if we dig deeper, perhaps there's more to the story.

Batty is a kind of futuristic robot who has an expiration date of four years. This tactic is implemented to ensure that, in the event a robot develops troublesome feelings, emotions and agendas, humanity is safeguarded by the possible destruction the robot could cause.

However, Roy Batty has apparently experienced these turbulent human emotions firsthand; hence, he is viewed as that much-feared threat to human beings.

Therefore, the "bladerunner," a robot killer for hire, is assigned the task of destroying him before it's too late.

And, after Batty's rampage and search for knowledge about his existence, he eventually shares his observation on fear.

The Problem of Self-image and the Ethereal

…the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

This time of year assaults us with the obvious "too much" of the holiday season: red and green, Santas, nativity scenes, silver bells and sensory overload at every turn.

During this season, we also see the abundance of angels. It's almost as much of an association with Christmas as the Baby Savior Himself.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:13-14

Indeed, angels are everywhere throughout Scripture:

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. Psalm 91:11

"The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity." Matthew 13:41

And he saith unto him, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man." John 1:51

Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" and the 12 Steps

Charles Dickens' 1843 novel, A Christmas Carol is the famous tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, an old miser who is visited by spirits representing the past, present and future. The novel, while set during the Christmas season, is a story of redemption. It's a wakeup call. It's a lesson on making amends. And it has the Twelve Steps all over the place.

Steps 4-12 heavily involve the "other" of wronged people in our lives, hurt by our destructive choices. They speak to our rebellion of the changed life we need to experience.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

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