Self-Esteem

The Role of Ignorance and Want in Our Lives

One of my favorite holiday stories is “A Christmas Carol,” the timeless classic, written by Charles Dickens. I’ve seen many adaptations of it; there have been numerous stage and screen versions, rolled out each December.

One of the constants in the story, however, is that of the boy character, Ignorance, and the girl character, Want, introduced to the Scrooge character via the Ghost of Christmas Present. They’re portrayed as creature-like, snarling, hissing and clawing for attention. They make their dramatic appearance, hidden underneath the Ghost’s robe.

And, the drama queen in me loves that poignant, uncomfortable scene because it’s a wake-up call reality check for humanity. According to the literature classic, here’s the exchange between Scrooge and the Ghost:

“Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.”

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Why doesn’t God seem to answer my prayers?

Why doesn’t God seem to answer my prayers?

Often quoted is Psalm 37:4b, “and he will give you the desires of your heart.” This portion of the Scripture is often used to say that God will give you what you ask for. However, the first part of this verse-often unquoted-provides the true meaning behind it. Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart.”

If you are taking pleasure in the things of God, and you want for yourself no more and no less than God’s will for you, then you can be confident that He will grant you your desires. But, when you mix your own desires and self-made plans into your prayers, God may not answer the way that you thought you wanted Him to. James 4:3 says, When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

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Could You be a “Selfie?”

All right, I admit it. I’m on social media- Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and of course, my website. In this modern culture, that’s the rule, not the exception. Virtually everyone I know is on social media – and even some of their pets, to boot. I certainly have posted my fair share of cat photos. It’s a bit ridiculous how many profile pics are floating out there. Some are obscene; some are funny. Some are glamorous and some are downright narcissistic.

Yes, narcissism. Here we go. It’s an easy thing to get sucked into. In a world where promotion is the name of the game, how, exactly, does one navigate social media without a little (or a lot of, let’s be real) promotion of self?

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Are You a Ragamuffin in Need of Grace?

Brennan Manning loved to refer to the Gospel as the Ragamuffin Gospel. I always liked that! Why? I didn’t come to Jesus with any piety or with the veil of religious performance. I was completely surprised when I encountered Jesus. He was totally other than my immature image of Him! And I had hit “my” bottom as a drug addicted Hippie. My home was the streets.

Jesus took me in through the love and hospitality of two of His Ragamuffin Saints. And He immediately sensitized me to the realities of being drawn into Him. He threw out the welcome mat to my heart to be at home in Him. I had no theology. Not even the slightest pretense of having a clue about my life “purpose” or “worth.” I was entirely “clueless!”

Brennan Manning eloquently communicated the Gospel of Grace without even a hit hint of religious pride. And he never wavered or compromised it. Instead; he was faithful to the message of grace through his own personal struggles, failures and shortcomings. The following quote succinctly captures the essence of Brennan’s life message!

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“Am I pretty?”

“Am I pretty?”

Recently, I watched the 1940 adaptation of “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder. It follows the lives of its Grover’s Corner citizens.

And that includes a young girl, Emily. There was a particular conversation between Emily and her mother which caught my attention; it’s one, to a certain degree, which is echoed between many mothers and daughters now. It’s about being pretty.

Emily asks her mother, “Am I pretty enough to get people interested in me?”

My ears perked right up, along with many mixed emotions about the question. Having experienced struggles with body and self-image, as well as eating disorders, the “pretty” question is far from pretty.

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Are You the Victim of a Bully?

I once thought a bully was a big kid shaking down a weaker kid for lunch money.

Now I know bullies are adults, too. They’re bosses, parents, teachers, spouses, neighbors, pastors, celebrities, and pro athletes. A bully is an insecure person who uses physical or emotional violence, or the threat of such violence, to exert power and control over others.

I can’t think of anything positive about bullies or their actions.

The bully hasn’t learned how to get what he needs—affirmation, love, self-worth—in authentic relationships, so he resorts to violence and threats. Bullies aren’t “real men” or “strong women.” They’re weak or unskilled in relationships, so they compensate with bravado.

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Teeter Totter Thinking


When I was a kid, I loved the teeter totter. Because of my weight issues, however, I was acutely aware of how my weight differed from most kids. The teeter totter was the scale; whoever was the heavier had the strength to hold the other occupant stranded in mid- air for however long he/she desired.

And usually that person was me, much to my dismay. After all, I wanted to be the dainty princess of sugar and spice and everything nice; I didn’t want to be a bruiser or a brute.

I had a completely distorted and unhealthy perspective. And one incident, in particular, captured it.

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Vain Imagination (Self-esteem)

Vain Imagination

As a little girl, I had one of those pink girly hand mirrors.


Its back had a girl’s face on it, a pretty one, naturally. She had blue eyes, blond hair and an upturned nose. It wasn’t exactly diversity.

Years later, I think back to playing with (looking at) that mirror; which side was more harmful to what eventually became my bad self- image. Was it that girl’s face- or was it my own face staring back at me?

Vanity’s not really a great Christian character trait…

I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers. Psalms 26:4

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Are You Eyeing Some Envy?

A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 14:30

I love Sophia Loren; I love Jane Mansfield. So, when I saw a photograph of them together, the fan in me squealed. Perhaps you’re familiar with the image. It’s the two stars, seated together at a table at some Hollywood event. Sophia Loren’s eyes look off to the side, staring at Jayne Mansfield’s cleavage. Could this be, perhaps, an example of envy being photographed?

We know both women are popular culture and beauty icons; they’re sex symbols. Ms. Loren, to this day, is an embodiment of exotic beauty. How many of us have unsuccessfully tried to achieve that dramatic “Sophia look,” only to poke ourselves in the pupil with the liquid eye liner?

And, the late Ms. Mansfield’s ample bust, supposedly measuring anywhere from 40D to 46 D, is frequently mentioned and even compared to that of Marilyn Monroe’s figure. How many of us have stuffed our bras with tissue to look just like her? (Somehow, we never did).

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Discovering Real Love

Writing to those loved by God the Father, called and kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!…But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life! Jude 1b-2, 20-21, The Message


We are always changed by our experiences of being loved by God. As we Practice His Presence we will be gently challenged as to what we believe about love. Our wounds associated with love will be “being healed” as we practice his presence.

The first front of healing in our journey as Son’s and Daughter’s; is to become empowered to more fully receive love from Father. “Be Loved!”

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