Step 3

People Who Fail (No other kind around)

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

I recently came across this little inspiration ditty circulating on social media:

    “God uses People Who Fail (No other kind around).”

That’s become more of a revelation to me in the last few years, especially within the context of recovery. It’s not a one-time, flawless thing. It’s day in, day out, with some days being better than others. It doesn’t sound glamorous or rewarding. Nevertheless, it is reality and embracing the process of life itself can be liberating if we, perhaps, give ourselves permission to fail. Part of that requires we not disqualify ourselves at the first — or the one thousandth — mistake; God doesn’t.

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.” Isaiah 41:9

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I often encounter people who are perfectionists — and I get it. Among all the things I’m recovering from in life, perfectionism is, indeed, right up there. And, again, in the recovery context, it is

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Conquering Worry

When you are inclined to worry — don’t do it! That is the first thing. No matter how much reason there seems to be for worrying — still, there is your rule. Do not break it — don’t worry! Matters may be greatly tangled, so tangled that you cannot see how they ever can be straightened out; still, don’t worry! Troubles may be very real and very sore, and there may not seem a rift in the clouds; nevertheless, don’t worry! You say the rule is too high for human observance — that mortals cannot reach it; or you say there must be some exceptions to it — that there are peculiar circumstances in which one cannot but worry. But wait a moment. What did the Master teach? “I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.” He left no exceptions.

What did Paul teach? “Don’t worry about anything!” He did not say a word about exceptions to the rule — but left it unqualified and absolute. A good bit of homely, practical, common-sense wisdom, says that there are two classes of things we should not worry about — things we can help, and things we cannot help.

Evils we can (correct) — we ought to (correct). If the roof leaks — we ought to mend it; if the fire is burning low and the room growing cold — we ought to put on more fuel; if the fence is tumbling down, so as to let our neighbor’s cattle into our wheat field — we had better repair the fence than sit down and worry over the troublesomeness of people’s cows; if we have dyspepsia and it makes us feel badly — we had better look to our diet and our exercise. That is, we are very silly if we worry about things we can help. Help them! That is the heavenly wisdom for that sort of ills or cares — that is the way to cast that kind of burden on the Lord.

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As Sick as Our Secrets

“Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” Luke 12:2


“Fight Club” is a powerful film, cemented within pop culture. It’s notorious, in particular, for the famous line of its main character, Tyler Durden’s, often quoted within our society…

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”

And it got me thinking about secrecy.

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Is Your Finger on the Feelings Button?

Years ago, there was a popular song, “Feelings.”

As the lyrics go, “feelings, nothing more than feelings…whoa…whoa…whoa…”
(It’s bad Karaoke, let me tell ya).

Anyway, I’ve been giving some thought to the feelings factor. I’ve seen how it has done some damage in my own life. Temper tantrums, crying jags, meltdowns of epic proportion- whatever you want to call them – feelings, let’s be real, rarely lead us to make great decisions which improve our lives.

But wreck our lives? Well, that’s a different story.

For those of us in recovery, for those of us coming from abuse, the feelings thing is a tricky course to navigate. In my case, because feelings weren’t safe in my home, growing up, I learned to suppress, stuff, until…boom! Explosion happened. Not a good coping mechanism.

And so, a girl of extremes, when life moved on, I was determined to fully express my feelings whenever I had them. Oh yeah. This was fun and games. No one was going to control me!

Hence, I was OUT of control.

The cliché in life is true: it’s about balance and moderation. And that was NOT something I was good at. I was not good at dealing, in a healthy with my emotions.

Scripture tells us, like it or not, we all need to do this:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Years after the immediate damage of both my eating disorders and my childhood abuse, God has patiently- and gradually- led me into honestly looking at my heart, the factory producing all of these blessed feelings in the first place.

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Urgent? Why??

I must admit, my favorite question is “why?”

I ask it a lot: of God, of others, of myself, of life.

And yes, I ask the why question concerning the tricky addiction/recovery issue.

Author, Jonathan Lockwood Huie really takes that matter to task, using two words.

“Urgent? Why?”

It’s not merely a question; it’s a statement… about the significance of urgency.

And this is right up addiction’s alley. The fix driving the addiction- why?

    Why is this my answer?

    Why will this solve things?

    Why will nothing else do?

    Why must I be instantly healed?

It is that last question which brought two scripture passages to my mind: Jairus’ daughter and Lazarus.

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Patience: Are we there yet?

Visualize this scenario. There’s a car ride going on, containing one or two parents/adults and at least one child in the backseat. The child’s view consists of the following: the back of the driver’s and passenger side seat, perhaps, some toys, games or word puzzle books, strewn throughout. Maybe, depending upon the vehicle, there’s even a Disney film being played on a television screen, just above Mommy or Daddy’s head. We should be hearing the voice of an animated character or the chirp of an irritating child’s song. But, instead, what do we hear?

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

Does this sound familiar?

If you have children or remember being one yourself, you’re probably familiar with this nagging, repetitive question:

Are we there yet?

We want to get there already, wherever “there” is.

“Unto a land flowing with milk and honey…” Exodus 3:8; 33:3

It’s the Promised Land, filled with conscientious manners, harmonious relationships, well-behaved children, realized dreams and no bad hair days.

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Another’s Critique is Not the Final Say

I recently caught a viral video of a turtle repeatedly head butting a cat. The feline, annoyed, swishing its tail, eventually got up and moved. And the turtle was on its way. Is it a lesson in adversity? In persistence? In forging ahead, despite negative feedback?

Other people hold mirrors up to us. And a significant mirror came to me in the form of a critic to my beloved baby, my book, “Thin Enough.”

They say we’re supposed to embrace the criticism and the ugly truth. Well saying that, doing that and feeling great about it don’t necessarily happen all at the same time. But criticism and unpleasant comments still occur, often while we’re in the middle of something as challenging as recovery from a compulsion, addiction or disorder.

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The Importance of “STOP!”

That’s odd for me. I want to focus on moving forward, dreaming big dreams, taking risks. And lately, for some reason I don’t understand, I seem to hear STOP.

I don’t think it’s about the big things, I’ve no sense about stopping those efforts. So I’ve wondered about STOP as it relates to the ordinary, everyday stuff. I think I might have noticed something interesting.

STOP is nearly always useful advice when I’m uncertain.

Are you lost? STOP. Don’t keep wandering, compounding the problem. Get your bearings. Ask for help. (Hint: Works for more than driving.)

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Prince and The Elevator

Living in Minnesota right now, I am in mourning… and its color is purple.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard the news that singer, rock star and lightning rod of controversy, Prince had died. On April 21st, 2016, he was found dead in his Paisley Park home… in the elevator. He was 57.

It was an enormous shock to the world. Just imagine what the experience was for Minnesotans.

Yeah.

You might be wondering why I’m writing about Prince, of all people, in this Christian recovery forum. You, perhaps, may believe he was a creator of “the devil’s music,” encouraging all kinds of sin, debauchery and strange behavior.

I ask that you please stay with me for a few moments.

Something struck me within minutes of hearing the news of his discovery in the elevator. It was later confirmed by American record executive, musician, songwriter and record producer, L.A Reid. He revealed a private conversation he once had with the artist.

Prince asked him, concerning his lyrics to the song, “Let’s Go Crazy,”

    “You know what the elevator is, don’t ya? It’s the devil.”

Yes, these lyrics…

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Why is this happening to me?

A friend of mine who is experiencing some painful family issues has repeatedly asked herself the “why” questions.

Why is this happening to me?

Why am I being treated like this?

Why is my loved one acting in such an ugly manner?

She has been blindsided by a situation and a relationship she never dreamed was possible, rife with betrayal, deception and slander. This was once a close, bonded relationship, one filled with unconditional love and trust.

So, the events over the last few years were a definite shock.

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