Relationships

When You Want Revenge

1 Corinthians 13:6 RSV
[Love] does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Ever want revenge against someone else? I think that one of the innate human emotions is the desire for one’s persecutor to suffer as much as they have caused suffering (or more). I think that many of us, at one time or another, fantasied about that horrible person being humiliated or hurt like they humiliated or hurt us.

It’s simple human nature.

But Paul tells us that we, as Christians, deny ourselves, deny our nature and choose love. We refuse to rejoice at wrong, even the suffering of our enemy, are rejoice in right. That we have a higher calling: to trust God in everything.

When You Want Revenge Read More »

Are You Irritable or Resentful?

1 Corinthians 13:5b RSV
[Love] is not irritable or resentful.


  • Love is not irritable.

      • We live in an angry society. Just last week there were two or three school shootings. That doesn’t count the hundreds of murders across the country, the thousands of crimes. And those are the angry acts that are illegal. Think about how many people were enraged by late restaurant orders, rude drivers, absent employees, unthoughtful family members.

      We live in a time of rage and depression. It seems to be getting worse and worse each year. Are we on a downward spiral toward social implosion? I think perhaps we are.

Are You Irritable or Resentful? Read More »

Zealous or Jealous?

1 Corinthians 13:4b
“…love is not jealous or boastful… “

We’ve already studied two aspects of love. Love suffers through pain and trials without complaining (patience). And love makes itself useful to others (kindness). These are positive attributes.

What’s interesting is that Paul places them in juxtaposition with two negative attributes, things that love isn’t.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. Love isn’t boastful.

  • Love isn’t jealous.

      • The Greek word translated here “jealous” is “zeloo” and it has two connotations, one negative and the other positive. In other words, it’s an attribute that, in one situation, is good and in another bad.

Zealous or Jealous? Read More »

More Than a Feeling

1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient and kind;

Paul has just concluded the introduction to this section with the words “…have not love, I gain nothing.” In fact, he uses Jewish parallelism to make his point:

    If I speak . . . but have not love, I am just a sound.
    If I have . . . but have not love, I am nothing.
    If I give . . . but have not love, I gain nothing.

I think (and this is simply my own thoughts, not the Word of God) that Paul is trying to say this: Without love, the Christian simply… isn’t a Christian. There is no Christian without love.

More Than a Feeling Read More »

Setting Aside Our Will

1 Corinthians 13:5a RSV
[Love] is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way…

  • Love is not arrogant or rude.

      • The KJV translates this phrase: “Charity (love) doth not behave itself unseemly.” This certainly isn’t a phrase that we use much anymore. In fact, to be honest, we’re not very concerned at all about behaving in a courteous or seemly manner in our society. To behave “seemly” is to conform one’s behavior to standards of conduct and good taste. As our moms used to say, it means simply to behave properly and according to good manners.

      So the scripture here is actually more than just not being arrogant or rude, though I truly believe that rudeness is motivated by arrogance, the idea that it’s “my way or the highway.” When we are arrogant, we do what we want and say what we want without regard to the effects that it might have on other people. In other words, we simply don’t care about anyone else (at that moment), only about ourselves, our rights, our opinions, our own actions.

Setting Aside Our Will Read More »

Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships

Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite~sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner.

  • How our earliest relationships affect our mate selection
  • How we learn from that and look for healthier traits in our adult relationships
  • Why we are attracted to certain kinds of people

Lead by Tracy R. Warring Against Relational Sabotage

Host Welcome to the workshop on Father/daughter, Mother/son relationships Workshop Leader will be sharing with you on … Reactive Attachment Disorder and …Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite-sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner. I will open with prayer..

Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships Read More »

Restoration Through Making Amends (Part 2)

See: Part 1

In his book, Staying Sober, Terence Gorksi shares a simple exercise that creates a workable “road map” for the process of making amends. On a sheet of paper, draw lines to make three columns. In the left column, list those who were hurt by my drinking/drug addiction. In the center one, list how they were hurt in very specific terms. And, in the right, list what must be done to make amends with them. A final step in the process is to determine who can and cannot be contacted and to develop a chronological list of those who will be contacted.

The second half of Step 9 offers a warning – there are certain people to whom we should not attempt to make amends. This is because doing so could actually be more harmful than doing nothing. In Step 8 the focus in on a list of all those to whom one is willing to make amends. Step 9 involves talking real action to restore relationships. This requires much more discretion. Here are things to consider from the Serenity New Testament:

Restoration Through Making Amends (Part 2) Read More »

Adultery Bible Study (Part 2)

See: Part 1

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis. God doesn’t forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people’s lives physically and spiritually. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful and selfish desires than Him.

The key to faithfulness is putting Christ’s principles to work in our life and trusting in the Holy Spirit within us with our temptations. When we have temptations and ungodly thoughts we need to put our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. We have to communicate our burdens to God through prayer. Only when we put our trust in Him will He help us.

Basing Our Lives on Own Understanding and Wisdom

Adultery Bible Study (Part 2) Read More »

Adultery Bible Study (Part 1)

See: Part 2

“We have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28

Jesus came to fulfill the Old Testament laws, not abolish them. Simply telling someone to not commit adultery is preaching to the choir. We all know that adultery is a sin and yet we still commit adultery. Jesus went a step further then just telling us to not commit adultery; He taught that to desire a woman (or a man) in a lustful way is wrong and is considered mental adultery. The problem lies within our belief system.

What we “do” is a symptom of “how” we think.

Adultery Bible Study (Part 1) Read More »

Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal)

If you find yourself losing the joy in your life
And your blessing is more like a curse
And you wonder what’s wrong with that sweet little girl
That you’ve taken for better or worse,

You look at her now and hear yourself say,
“A11 she does is gripe and complain.”
But maybe if you took a look at yourself,
You would find what exactly has changed.

Now, you didn’t used to call on that girl
With chicken hanging out of your teeth,
Your pants undone and your hair not combed
With whiskers you’ve had for a week.

You’d take three baths and put on cologne,
Shine your shoes and wax your car.
Then, you’d stand at a mirror and work on your hair
Till you looked like a Hollywood star.

Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal) Read More »