Adultery

Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 2

by Dale & Juanita Ryan | see: Part 1

We resist getting help

In spite of the abundance of God’s love and grace and the many ways in which love and grace are available to us, we do not easily reach out for the help we need. Even when we have acknowledged our need for help, we may find ourselves hesitating, finding excuses, resisting. Resistance to getting help is often the result of a mixture of fear and despair and shame.

Fear

It can be frightening to get help. In the process we feel vulnerable and exposed. Jim’s Dad had made cutting remarks about him all his life. Jim was so accustomed to hearing that he was lazy and stupid and irresponsible that every time he shared in his support group, he expected to hear these same hurtful comments in response. Even though people didn’t respond this way, Jim imagined that everyone must be privately thinking these things about him. As a result, he would sometimes begin to share only to freeze with fear and find himself unable to talk.

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Run, Don’t Walk to Your Forgiving Father

You know, we don’t really believe that the Bible is true. We say we do, but often we ignore things in it. We say, “Well, there must be another way” or “In this case, it won’t happen like this.” But the fact is, the Bible is unequivocally true. Everything it says will happen the way it says it. Period.

When wickedness comes, contempt comes also;
and with dishonor comes disgrace.Proverbs 18:3 NRSV

With wickedness comes contempt and with dishonor comes disgrace. In other words, we can’t hide our sin.

Be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23 NRSV

King David was absolute ruler over all his kingdom. Not only that, but he could have any number of wives and be well within his rights… as long as the women he chose were available to marry him. In other words, he could have any woman except one who was already married. And, of course, human nature being what it is, he wanted a woman who was already married. We all know the story. He had an affair with her and she got pregnant. So, David arranged for her soldier husband to come home, hoping that the husband would have sex with his wife and never know that the baby she bore wasn’t his. Unfortunately for David, the husband was a more honorable man than his king and refused to enjoy his “vacation” while his men were still fighting and dying on the front lines. So David, in a frenzy not to have his sin found out, sent Uriah to the front lines to be killed in battle. And so he was.

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Adultery Bible Study (Part 2)

See: Part 1

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis. God doesn’t forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people’s lives physically and spiritually. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful and selfish desires than Him.

The key to faithfulness is putting Christ’s principles to work in our life and trusting in the Holy Spirit within us with our temptations. When we have temptations and ungodly thoughts we need to put our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. We have to communicate our burdens to God through prayer. Only when we put our trust in Him will He help us.

Basing Our Lives on Own Understanding and Wisdom

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Adultery Bible Study (Part 1)

See: Part 2

“We have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28

Jesus came to fulfill the Old Testament laws, not abolish them. Simply telling someone to not commit adultery is preaching to the choir. We all know that adultery is a sin and yet we still commit adultery. Jesus went a step further then just telling us to not commit adultery; He taught that to desire a woman (or a man) in a lustful way is wrong and is considered mental adultery. The problem lies within our belief system.

What we “do” is a symptom of “how” we think.

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But What Am I Guilty Of?

I would almost make a presumption that almost everybody in the world knows what guilt is and that they are guilty of something in their life. Who has not told a “white lie” in order to make things look a little cleaner than they actually are? I admit to telling more white lies than I can count and I am only 36 at the moment. And even if you were to argue that you are not guilty of anything, have I got some shocking news for you. According to the Bible, everybody is guilty of sin. In fact, when we are born, we are born into a sinful world and we automatically become part of that sinful world. (Isaiah 53:6 New Living Translation (NLT)

All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the guilt and sins of us
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us. (1 John 1:8-10 RSV)

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.

And the Bible tells us that if we think we have not sinned that what we are indeed doing is calling God a liar –
1 John 1:10 King James Version
(KJV) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

What we are guilty of depends on how we were raised, what we were taught to believe in school, at home, and our other places of meeting. But the Bible makes it clear that all sin is equal. There is no one sin greater than another like we as humans class them as, save one special sin. According to the New Testament, Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is the ONLY sin that is not forgivable.

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Have You Cheated on Your Spouse? How to Stay Faithful

Why would we NOT be faithful marriage spouses? Why do some people cheat and some people don’t? I believe it has a lot to do with how we think and what we value and cherish in life. Simply put, personal morals begin with our attitude. How we have been raised from childhood and what we believe will surely be a big part of if we remain faithful in our marriage or not.

I believe that people miss out on the spiritual Christ in their life by putting God in a corner of a church building. We tend to think that God is only going to hear our prayers if we go to church. We tend to worship the pastors and ministers of the church rather than Jesus Christ, who is the head of the church. Of course most of us know that God is everywhere because He is a Spirit, but most of us stifle our daily walk with God by only worshiping and or praying when we go to church.

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If You Have Committed Adultery

The adulterer is hurting themselves more than the people they have betrayed. They too are suffering and need God’s love healing.

We all know about the commandment to not commit adultery but obviously we have not taken it very seriously. Why is that? Why are Christians committing adultery? It is because they are dispassionate Christians who have not learned, nor have been taught to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and that Christianity is a lifestyle. They do not know that the Kingdom of God is already here!

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What Is A Christian Wife’s Role In Marriage?

And the LORD God said, It’s not good that man should be alone,
I will make him an helpmeet. Genisis 2:18

I want to add just a quick note of encouragement to those women whose husbands are having an affair and want to know what to do now. Ignore it by detaching from it. Many of you may be astonished to hear me say such a thing but the truth is you can’t do anything about someone else’s immoral character and beliefs. You need to be the example to your husband by showing him your walk in the Lord. Fussing and fighting with the adulterer is not going to get him to stop. WORK ON YOUR OWN HEALING!

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I Have Forgiven My Husband’s Adultery but He is Distant

Ask Angie: I forgave husband of infidelity and adultery now he won’t talk to me nor sleep close to me what am I doing wrong?

Marriage Guidance: How can forgiveness be wrong? Forgiving others their trespasses against us is always the right thing to do, even if they continue trespassing against us. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. All you can do is your part in the marriage and it looks like you are attempting to do that by forgiving your husband. You didn’t tell me if he has repented of adultery or not so I can only speculate that he has not.

Let’s talk about ways in which we can heal ourselves and restore marriage after adultery.

Make God First in Marriage

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