If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.
Do you want your marriage nursed back to health? If you want your marriage restored it will take some effort on your part. Stop peering over the fence at your neighbor, and put your eyes back in your own yard where they belong.
First, the offended spouse needs to forgive completely (see my article, forgive a cheating spouse), and secondly the offender has to understand why he strayed from the marriage bed in the first place. Infidelity is only a symptom of a greater problem within the framework of the marriage.
If you have been unfaithful or have anything else pulling you away from your spouse, ask yourself why? What am I doing that would cause me to be disloyal? Don’t blame your spouse for your weakness. Grow up and take responsibility.
Stop everything you’re doing and write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have completed them all. Don’t worry about what your spouse will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.
Forgive Your Spouse
Ask Angie: Is divorce the only answer for a repeat cheater?
Ask Angie: How do I stop him from cheating on me?
Ask Angie: My husband confessed to cheating I was so hurt I threw him out of our home and we are now separated, he has been treating me worse than ever and is acting like he was when I suspected his cheating what should I do? I’m so confused.
Ask Angie: My husband left me and moved in with a woman, for the second time! He came back complaining about her but left again. I am a Christian and want my husband back. He’s been gone 5 weeks with no contact. We have 3 children. The woman he is with is married too, and to number 4? Is restoration a reality?
Has your spouse been unfaithful? Learn how to cope with the situation in a godly fashion.
When marriage troubles come butting their ugly little heads in your marriage, you can choose to persevere and work through those troubles, or you can give up and become another divorce statistic. Why not choose the best and most beneficial option for you and your spouse and work on the issues that are affecting your marriage? God would be pleased with your decision.
It takes a lot of faith not just in God but in yourself as a person to want to work on a marriage you know that you could just as easily walk away from. Some people walk away from their marriages, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Is there a potential within your character that gives you the perseverance to want to put forth the needed effort that your marriage needs?
Don’t tell me you have never looked? Don’t tell me you have never flirted? We’re so busy trying to find out if our spouse is cheating that we haven’t taken the time to even look at our own behavior? Perhaps we have rejected our spouse sexually over and over again. Or maybe we have treated them with disrespect and contempt. Or could it be we have cheated ourselves – if we are suspicious of our spouse, maybe it’s because we don’t trust ourselves.