Guidance

The Still, Silent Challenge

Do We Sit With Our Hearts?

I admit it. I have a difficult time being still.

I like background noise, action and movement. This probably explains why I am pathetic at relaxation exercises, Tai Chi and yoga. I just can’t seem to settle down. The room may be completely quiet, yet my thoughts, “to do” lists and anxieties are often at record-setting decibel levels.

And this noise is often a part of the addiction package. Why? Because it’s distracting. And anything that promises to provide escape from reality is tantalizing.

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Instruction Book For Marriage

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3NIV>


Scriptures are such a blessing for believers because it is our instruction to fall back on when we need comfort and encouragement. That might be once a day or several times a day. Often times when we rely upon our own understanding we may accidentally do the wrong thing for our marriage. It is not that we mean to do the wrong thing, but that is usually what happens. But when we go to the word of God and pray about it, it seems that God gives us His trustworthy guidance almost within hours or days.

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The Toxic Gender Role Dance

Okay, I’m attempting to simmer down. I just finished another viewing of the animated Disney classic, “Sleeping Beauty.”

Like a lot females out there, I have a complicated love/hate view of this fairytale princess depiction.

Over the years, I have bought into, absorbed, aspired to be like and have been resentful of this ingénue archetype. I have run the gamut of emotions, largely because of the all-important beauty factor which is mandatory for our young princess heroine.

It was all I could do to get through this latest viewing of the film.

For, right off the bat, we have our staple Disney music, chiming in, emphasizing just how beautiful our “Sleeping Beauty” is…

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Are You a Caricature?

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he… Proverbs 23:7

When I was a senior in high school, I had a caricature drawing done with a friend of mine. I remember as we sat for the artist, we tried not to laugh and squirm as we anticipated what the finished product would look like.

And, I’ll admit it, when I saw the drawing, I was startled.

I looked at my ginormous head, stubby nose and large mouth and it certainly didn’t look like a “beauty shot.”

But, it was never supposed to. The caricature was, well, a caricature.

    “a picture, description, or imitation of a person or thing in which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic or grotesque effect.”

I didn’t quite appreciate the drawing for what it was: exaggerated. The shock to my system created feelings that confirmed, yes, I was grotesque.

And that drawing memory connects me to another one.

My high school art teacher repeated a motto as we, her students, attempted to draw anything, people included:

“Draw what you see, not what you know.”

The concept, if embraced,

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Conquering Worry

When you are inclined to worry — don’t do it! That is the first thing. No matter how much reason there seems to be for worrying — still, there is your rule. Do not break it — don’t worry! Matters may be greatly tangled, so tangled that you cannot see how they ever can be straightened out; still, don’t worry! Troubles may be very real and very sore, and there may not seem a rift in the clouds; nevertheless, don’t worry! You say the rule is too high for human observance — that mortals cannot reach it; or you say there must be some exceptions to it — that there are peculiar circumstances in which one cannot but worry. But wait a moment. What did the Master teach? “I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.” He left no exceptions.

What did Paul teach? “Don’t worry about anything!” He did not say a word about exceptions to the rule — but left it unqualified and absolute. A good bit of homely, practical, common-sense wisdom, says that there are two classes of things we should not worry about — things we can help, and things we cannot help.

Evils we can (correct) — we ought to (correct). If the roof leaks — we ought to mend it; if the fire is burning low and the room growing cold — we ought to put on more fuel; if the fence is tumbling down, so as to let our neighbor’s cattle into our wheat field — we had better repair the fence than sit down and worry over the troublesomeness of people’s cows; if we have dyspepsia and it makes us feel badly — we had better look to our diet and our exercise. That is, we are very silly if we worry about things we can help. Help them! That is the heavenly wisdom for that sort of ills or cares — that is the way to cast that kind of burden on the Lord.

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As Sick as Our Secrets

“Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.” Luke 12:2


“Fight Club” is a powerful film, cemented within pop culture. It’s notorious, in particular, for the famous line of its main character, Tyler Durden’s, often quoted within our society…

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”

And it got me thinking about secrecy.

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Is Your Finger on the Feelings Button?

Years ago, there was a popular song, “Feelings.”

As the lyrics go, “feelings, nothing more than feelings…whoa…whoa…whoa…”
(It’s bad Karaoke, let me tell ya).

Anyway, I’ve been giving some thought to the feelings factor. I’ve seen how it has done some damage in my own life. Temper tantrums, crying jags, meltdowns of epic proportion- whatever you want to call them – feelings, let’s be real, rarely lead us to make great decisions which improve our lives.

But wreck our lives? Well, that’s a different story.

For those of us in recovery, for those of us coming from abuse, the feelings thing is a tricky course to navigate. In my case, because feelings weren’t safe in my home, growing up, I learned to suppress, stuff, until…boom! Explosion happened. Not a good coping mechanism.

And so, a girl of extremes, when life moved on, I was determined to fully express my feelings whenever I had them. Oh yeah. This was fun and games. No one was going to control me!

Hence, I was OUT of control.

The cliché in life is true: it’s about balance and moderation. And that was NOT something I was good at. I was not good at dealing, in a healthy with my emotions.

Scripture tells us, like it or not, we all need to do this:

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

Years after the immediate damage of both my eating disorders and my childhood abuse, God has patiently- and gradually- led me into honestly looking at my heart, the factory producing all of these blessed feelings in the first place.

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Urgent? Why??

I must admit, my favorite question is “why?”

I ask it a lot: of God, of others, of myself, of life.

And yes, I ask the why question concerning the tricky addiction/recovery issue.

Author, Jonathan Lockwood Huie really takes that matter to task, using two words.

“Urgent? Why?”

It’s not merely a question; it’s a statement… about the significance of urgency.

And this is right up addiction’s alley. The fix driving the addiction- why?

    Why is this my answer?

    Why will this solve things?

    Why will nothing else do?

    Why must I be instantly healed?

It is that last question which brought two scripture passages to my mind: Jairus’ daughter and Lazarus.

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Patience: Are we there yet?

Visualize this scenario. There’s a car ride going on, containing one or two parents/adults and at least one child in the backseat. The child’s view consists of the following: the back of the driver’s and passenger side seat, perhaps, some toys, games or word puzzle books, strewn throughout. Maybe, depending upon the vehicle, there’s even a Disney film being played on a television screen, just above Mommy or Daddy’s head. We should be hearing the voice of an animated character or the chirp of an irritating child’s song. But, instead, what do we hear?

“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

Does this sound familiar?

If you have children or remember being one yourself, you’re probably familiar with this nagging, repetitive question:

Are we there yet?

We want to get there already, wherever “there” is.

“Unto a land flowing with milk and honey…” Exodus 3:8; 33:3

It’s the Promised Land, filled with conscientious manners, harmonious relationships, well-behaved children, realized dreams and no bad hair days.

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Fear of Disapproval

I recently came across an image post on the internet. It was a female’s body, in workout gear. And it was accompanied by this statement:

“For Every ‘Comment’, I’ll do 10 sit ups, For Every ‘Like’, I’ll do 5 squats. Go, go, go!”

Furthermore, this post was also followed by a series of emoticons to emphasize its message: three arm curled biceps and one gold trophy.

(Sigh… Here we go again…)

Exercise, goals, striving for improvement/perfection…This is where I squirm, faced with posts as these.

Indeed, there is much emphasis on fitness in today’s culture. There are countless gyms, trainers, exercise equipment, programs, workout clothes and shoes, as well as a variety of athletic activities from which to choose. It’s overwhelming.

Yet there’s still a rise in eating disorders and in such health issues as

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