Frequently Asked Questions

The Last Perfect Man and the Carnal Christian

One of the most helpful comments I heard when I was new in Alcoholics Anonymous and began to hear all the condemning remarks made about ministers, politicians, doctors, AAs, and other 12-Step people who-though Christians-had missed the mark was this:

The last perfect man left us some 2000 years ago. But He is seated at the right hand of God. And He is coming back to gather together the children of God.

Over the years, a number of folks have criticized Christians in A.A. because of the foibles and shortcomings of A.A.’s founders and 12-Step groups themselves. These folk argue that nobody should associate with an organization founded by such “sinners.”

I can truthfully affirm that, when I sat down in A.A., I had some sinning problems to deal with. Also that God had provided the Way and the power to deal with them.

I can truthfully affirm that some of the drunks and addicts who were sitting next to or near me seemed also to be in need of some instruction and some cleansing. And that the Word of God contained instructions for doing the job for them if they wanted to believe in God and diligently seek Him.

The Bible has some important comments about such sinners-whether they have yet to be redeemed, or are already saints. It says:

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Is there anything wrong with “social drinking?”

Abstinence: Still the Best Choice

As a person who has struggled with addiction to alcohol and drugs, I would be foolish to drink. But what about the Christian who has never had such problems? Is there anything wrong with what is considered social drinking? I believe there are at least five compelling reasons why abstinence should be the norm for all followers of Christ:

The cost to society.
Nationwide one in four families is experiencing alcohol related problems. It is estimated that 20-25 percent of all hospital costs result directly from alcohol misuse and abuse. People without Christ drink mainly to fill a spiritual void that only Christ’s presence can fill. Therefore, Christians who do know Him ought to stand out in this fallen world by not being identified with this destructive spiritual counterfeit.

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Romantic Relationships in Early Recovery

Why should recovering alcoholics and addicts avoid new relationships with members of the opposite sex in the first year of recovery?

By avoiding new relationships with members of the opposite sex you also:

Avoid losing the focus on personal issues
For alcoholics and addicts, real lasting change occurs only after a long and often painful process of self discovery. This involves understanding their own addictive behaviors, repressed emotions, and destructive thought patterns. However, their denial uses the feelings and behaviors of others to avoid facing their own pain and dishonesty and from assuming responsibility for their controlling and shame-producing actions. Introducing a romantic relationship, with an intense focus on the other person, too early in recovery inevitably “short-circuits” the important process of reconnecting with self and learning to become responsible for one’s own feelings and behavior.

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Death: What’s on the other side?

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, “Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.”

Very quietly, the doctor said, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?”

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

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How Can I Deal with My Alcoholic Spouse?

Ask Angie: I have been married to an alcoholic for 16 years. I have detached in love and have been very active in my church and creating a life for me and my children outside of the alcoholism. The alcoholic in my life doesn’t seem to mind any of this and it actually seems to relieve him from the responsibility to be a dad and husband. He does work hard on his job and so he feels that’s all of his responsibility and likes when he’s home to drink all day and play video games and ignore us. I hate being with him. It’s a very lonely marriage. My two older children are becoming more upset by his lack of desire to be with them.

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Are the 12 Steps the Only Way?

Question:
Is it acceptable to have or receive a different approach than following the traditional Twelve Steps only?

In Christians in Recovery, the 12 Steps are only some of the tools available to those seeking recovery. The Bible and Biblical principles come first and foremost. CIR is not AA. Our Lord Jesus Christ and God Almighty are our “Higher Power.” The Bible is our handbook. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher and our Guide.

The 12 Steps are just tools. They work for some people and other people simply have no use for them. That is fine. If they work for you, by all means use them. Many people find the 12 Steps bring them into a closer relationship with God.

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Losing Trust in Spouse, Regaining that Trust

Ask Angie: My husband and I are not on the same page when it comes to trust issues, today something came up that hit a button that really showed me how I don’t trust him. He did something I felt went behind my back. When I found out about it, I was very upset. I felt he was being dishonest with me and I then realized why I don’t trust him. See he is done these things most of our married life. When I comforted him I let him know that his behavior is what I don’t trust. That this kind of behavior cannot go on. That is this kind of behavior that is the reason I don’t trust him and that it is his job to restore my trust in him.

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