Relapse / Stalled Recovery - Christians in Recovery

Weary? Try a New Alacrity!

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

I once read a book on Harry Houdini. He was described as possessing a spirit of alacrity. What a great word. Its definition is that of “briskness, a cheerful readiness.”

Who’s tired already?

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I do a lot of long distance driving and there are many things I have learned to keep me alert. It is important for me to realize just how quickly things can go horrifically wrong if I take my eyes off of the road or “zone out” for just a second or two.

Recovery has parallels to that. I can think I am sailing along just fine, been in recovery for years. No problem…..

I start zoning out….

and not paying attention to the details…..

life is good…..

W-H-A-M !!!!!!

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Keep Going (While Going Through Hell)

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I love Winston Churchill’s sentiment:

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Life is tough. Sooner or later, we’ll experience a trying situation which feels like hell. It isn’t actual hell, thank God. Nevertheless, the power of that notorious situation/trauma makes us feel tortured with pain, despair and hopeless evidence. Eating disorders, addictions, compulsions, loss and grief are just a few examples of things which can feel like hell, if, indeed, torture is its calling card.

It’s painful and almost impossible to see future, life, possibility or God. We can, instead, much more easily see ourselves as failures, weak, forgotten and ruined. It’s, therefore, inevitable we come to a screeching halt; we stop in the mire and can only feel ourselves sinking…down to where? Greater depths of hell and torture?

But that’s not God’s truth about us. Even in the middle of hopelessness, God is there… living… loving… working…

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?” Jeremiah 32:27

It can be tempting to believe that

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Recovery, Choices and Holidays

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“The doctor is real in.”

Those words are written on a psychiatrist stand the character Lucy has in the Christmas classic, “Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!”

That got me thinking. We’re once again, at that festive time of year, with all of its parties, concerts, kiddie pageants and assortment of other holiday events. There seems to be an overwhelming amount of stuff to go to. And yet, during this festive season, it’s more than difficult to get a doctor’s appointment. Or is that just my experience?

When I was sixteen years old, I got the chicken pox at Christmas. Ho ho ho! There was not much I could do; there was no doctor I could see, because every single one of them were off for the holiday. So, it was me, the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” (colorized version), some calamine lotion, a couch and itching. Because I didn’t get chicken pox like most kids, at age six or seven and because I was this late bloomer, my stint with the itchy stuff lasted about three weeks. It was not a festive time.

And, years’ later, I seem to have run into the same dilemma repeatedly whenever I try to schedule an appointment with the doctor or dentist. Most of the time, the doctor is real out. So, what’s my option? Where do I go from there?

Well, there’s a potential and dangerous choice out there, left unchecked; I could turn to my definition of a panacea. Instead of dealing with the discomfort and pain in the moment, I could choose to numb, escape from and soothe it. Sounds like classic addiction, doesn’t it? We try to cope and turn to anything to attempt to make that happen. Those coping methods can include a wide variety of consumption choices for each one of us: food, alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping, just to name a few. And the excuse we possibly use for turning to them? The doctor was out.

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Guidance: A Lesson from “The Bishop’s Wife”

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A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9

During the holiday season, we’re inundated with many Christmas movies: “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Miracle On 34th Street,” “Frosty the Snowman” and many variations of the Charles Dickens classic, “A Christmas Carol.”

But one that my husband and I became aware of years ago is “The Bishop’s Wife,” starring David Niven, Loretta Young and the debonair Cary Grant. Indeed, Mr. Grant plays an angel, named Dudley, assigned to the bishop and his wife, as they are challenged with raising money for a cathedral.

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The Fa-La-La-La-La of Holiday Stress?

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It’s so easy to feel intimidated and overwhelmed by all of the holiday treats available now. We give so much power to various “forbidden food.” We wonder what the caloric and “fattening” damage may be concerning the buffet that’s presented to us. We’re so worried about what food is to us, we often don’t think much about what we are to God.

What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Psalm 8:4

Yes, there’s no sugar coating it (pun intended): the holidays are challenging to us all. We are faced with numerous, unique fears, memories, expectations and simultaneously occurring situations of /joy/terror/destruction. We can, however, take a second and look at another couple of real promises, as we

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Twelve Steps to a Better Holiday Season

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1. We admitted that Thanksgiving and Christmas have a deeper meaning than drinking, drugging and overeating.

2. We came to believe that God, a power greater than ourselves, could help us see and celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

3. We came to believe that God could help us appreciate the joyfulness of the season as intended by Him.

4. We made a searching and thorough examination of our relationship with our addictions, obsessions and overindulgences during the holidays.

5. We admitted to God the exact nature of our addictive habits and overindulgences during holiday seasons past.

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Obtaining the Warrior Spirit

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“…and that’s when I became a warrior!”

I recently caught this statement trending on social media. It’s no surprise why it has caught on. With so much suffering in the world, taking on a fighting perspective can be empowering.

No matter what we’ve experienced in our lives, God has placed within each of us a warrior spirit. He knows full well of our challenges, setbacks, relapses, pain and loss. He also knows of our mighty purpose as well.

And it is precisely that reason why the warrior emerges. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s that kind of thing which attaches itself to our every breath. It’s that thing which does not give up, no matter how many times we feel we cannot go on.

Whatever you have survived in your life – loss, trauma, addiction, abuse, extraordinary pain- God wants you to do something with it, in spite of it.

Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31:8-9

He wants to turn those ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:1-3).

But He doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t just want you to fight for fighting’s sake. He wants to give you the Victory as well!

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

God wants you to experience overcoming that enemy. He didn’t say it would be easy, instant or painless. But He has assured us that Victory is ours.

For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4

And that is often what awakens the warrior within us, often, without our own awareness. Some call it “instinct.” But again, it’s “that thing” which keeps going when everything and everyone else tells us to give up. It’s God given.

And because it is God given,

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Discipline Or Regret: Which Pain Do We Embrace?

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I don’t know who said it, but there is a quote which goes something like:

“You either embrace the pain of discipline or you embrace the pain of regret.”

Yes, I know, it’s a festive one.

Nevertheless, it is a reality check, especially for those of us in recovery from any particular thing which has seized our pleasure centers, all in an effort to escape pain. We desire pleasure to soothe, numb or obliterate our pain. We believe the lie it will happen. Furthermore, we also believe there can be no good thing which comes from denying our indulgences for it.

Therefore, as we stumble and relapse, we often choose to embrace the pain of regret concerning our addictions and the harmful consequences which can follow.

It’s not to shame anyone. Rather, it’s, again, to provide the reality check that none of us are immune from relapse and bad decisions. We are all vulnerable.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalms 103:14

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

It’s acknowledged in the first two Twelve Steps:

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Peer Pressure & Sin

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In Haggai 2:12-19, God drives home a very telling point to the prophet. If we place an unclean thing together with a clean one, the cleanness of the latter will not rub off onto the former. If I rub my dirty and ink-stained hands on a clean towel, the cleanness of the towel will not rub off onto my hands: rather it is dirt that is transferred, and the towel becomes dirty.

By this means the Lord made clear to Haggai and Judah that sin is contagious, but righteousness is not. We are not Christians simply because we belong to a good church, a good family, or a fine community. Moreover, a good profession of faith does not make us holy or godly.

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