Self-Esteem

Optical Illusion: Liar?

Recently, on social media, I saw a brain teaser trending. It was an image that, at first glance, looked like a face. It stated, “Share when you see a word,” asking us to look beyond this face value.

And, upon doing so, at a certain angle, one can see a dotted “I” where the nose/nostril is, along with an “a” for the mouth and an “r” creating the chin and neck. And starting the entire face, there is an elaborate “L,” making up the two eyes.

So, when we spell the face, what word do we get?

Answer: liar.

The face of addiction, right there, ladies and gentlemen.

The old joke asks:
How do you tell if an addict is lying?
Answer: His/her lips are moving.

Optical Illusion: Liar? Read More »

Internalizing the Wrong Messages?

I’m a huge fan of classic cartoons. The Roadrunner, in particular, always makes me smile.

Recently, I stumbled across an image, featuring Wile. E. Coyote’s “calling card,” which read “Genius.” And it immediately reminded me of a famous Albert Einstein quote:

Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Internalizing the Wrong Messages? Read More »

Affirmation via Tattoos and Piercings

“He wandereth abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’…” Job 15:23

Within recovery, there is often the need to commemorate the struggle, the courage and the life-affirming process, via tattoos and piercings.

Indeed, I’ve encountered many young people who have significant dates and meaningful logos marked on their skin. Likewise, eyebrows, nostrils and lips are also pierced, in the declaration of some kind of personal freedom from pain.

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Our Battle with the Mirror

The infamous mirror. We do battle with it every single day, don’t we? How many of us pick ourselves apart, critiquing, judging and hating every feature? How many of us, upon seeing our reflection, are disgusted and disappointed with what we see?

There is a use for everything, mirrors included. They serve a purpose. Let’s face it — if it weren’t for mirrors, there’d be more instances of lipstick on — and spinach in –teeth. We’d look much messier than we do when we present ourselves to the world.

But mirrors are not the end all, be all to our eternal worth and value. They are far from it.

Our Battle with the Mirror Read More »

Faulty Thinking?

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he… Proverbs 23:7

We can really do a number on ourselves with our faulty thinking.

How many of us have said the following things to ourselves, about ourselves?

“I’m…
…worthless…
…ugly…
…fat…
…weak…
…stupid…
…a failure…
…never good enough…”

And then, if we’re plagued with disordered eating and body image issues, it gets amplified even further.

Faulty Thinking? Read More »

Weary? Try a New Alacrity!

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8


I once read a book on Harry Houdini. He was described as possessing a spirit of alacrity. What a great word. Its definition is that of “briskness, a cheerful readiness.”

Who’s tired already?

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Reaching Perfection?

Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God. Deuteronomy 18:13

The artist, Salvador Dali is famous for stating one of my favorite quotes:

“Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”

Image taken from About.com
Indeed, if you look at his art, there was a challenging of the perfect, of the “normal,” of the expected. Surreal images were not about depicting something as it occurred in life. Stretched out clocks and manipulated human bodies captured that artistic representation.

If one cannot find his depiction of perfection in his work, the same, however, cannot be said about the existence of excellence there. It is pervasive. Imagination, bravery and human imperfections are all there. And, I believe, that’s part of why we identify so strongly with his art. We can relate to

Reaching Perfection? Read More »

Why Are Unhappy People Unhappy?

This article is about unhappy people – not depressed people.

True happiness is within self. Unhappy people are usually unhappy because they have not mastered the ability to be happy within themselves. Therefore, they may try and gain happiness/pleasure through others no matter what that entails. Don’t get confused with my usage of unhappiness and then compare it to depression because they are two different things.

An unhappy person often uses others to get what they need out of life. At first this may work, but after a while the relationship begins to experience problems because their partner cannot tolerate the life getting literally sucked out of them. This kind of needy and spongy behavior is what the medical and psychiatric establishments like to call, “codependency”.

There is nothing really wrong with these kinds of people, except for the fact they need to come out of their selfishness, grow up, be accountable and take responsibility for their own happiness. Unfortunately when certain establishments coin codependency as some life long emotional problem, people don’t take responsibility for their behavior. For them it’s always someone else’s fault why they drink, why they look at porn, why they do drugs, why they have an anger management problem, why they feel like the whole world owes them

Why Are Unhappy People Unhappy? Read More »

God’s Plan For You This Year

Have you thought about wrapping up the old year? How about plans for the new year?

It’s that odd time of year when we spend equal time looking to the past and the future. It’s sort of like doing taxes—you summarize the past year while figuring out what needs to change going forward.

One of my internal principles tells me to pay attention when I encounter the same issue in different contexts. I figure someone’s trying to tell me something. Recently I’ve run across a few folks who are asking, “What does God want me to do next?”

In the introduction to “Relentless Grace” I expressed my reluctance to claim that “God told me” to take a particular course. I won’t speak for anyone else, but I suspect I sometimes use “God’s plan” as an excuse to do what I wanted to do anyway.

I do believe that God speaks to us, and I certainly believe in His absolute sovereignty. Nothing is beyond His control; nothing escapes His attention.

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“Surviving the Holidays with a Dysfunctional Family” Workshop

note: Members may discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Welcome to our Special Workshop tonight
“Surviving the Holidays with a Dysfunctional Family” Workshop

For many, the Christmas season is not a time of warm cozy feelings and precious memories. For some, it is a time of reliving the nightmares of childhood abuse and not wanting to return home for Christmas. It is a reminder of broken relationships and children in the custody of “the other parent.” It is a season of struggles to stay clean and sober and out of trouble when attending Christmas gatherings. How can we not only survive, but also thrive during the Christmas season?

“Surviving the Holidays with a Dysfunctional Family” Workshop Read More »