Mental Health/Emotions

Haughtiness is a Superlative Pride

Haughty eyes and a proud heart—the lamp of the wicked—are sin. Proverbs 21:4

I’m dealing with haughtiness right now . . . my own. Haughtiness is a superlative pride, a feeling of being or doing better than others. It’s antonym is humility. And I personally think that seeking the praises of those around you is a part of that.

Scripture is very clear. This is sin. And what’s interesting is that this verse doesn’t talk about sin that we do, but rather sin that we are . . . how we feel and think and make choices. It can be easy, within our church culture, to act like a Christian. In fact, I’ve had some Christians tell me that they never sin. And if we were speaking only of the sins that we can do, they may be right. Likely they don’t kill or steal or commit adultery. But the Lord looks past our actions into our hearts:

The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart 1 Samuel 16:7b NRSV

Two people, standing side by side, could look very much the same from the outside and yet one could be truly humble and one could be truly prideful.

Tozer, in his book, That Incredible Christian, lists the attributes of a spiritual person:

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Glamourizing Triggers

“Pain is beauty.”

As a female, I certainly heard that phrase and took it to heart. I believed the lie that it was a female’s obligation to endure pain and suffering for beauty. Hence, my dark battle with eating disorders developed.

Recently, I caught a fashion ad which disturbed me.

Fashion photographer Danil Golovkin did a layout in which she featured model, Anastasiya Kolbasko. This, in my opinion, was a glamourized depiction of eating disorder behavior.

Rather than wearing the jewelry designs, the blonde model “eats” the adornments of gold styled by Liliya Simonyan.

But, the photos go further. There is posing of the model and the jewelry to suggest actual purging; in some photos, Anastasiya appears to be vomiting the jewelry. And, in every photo of the series, of course, the model has dead eyes and looks, quite frankly, cadaverous.

Triggering. That’s an oft-used word for those of us recovering from disordered eating and harmful, negative body image issues.

Looking at this “artistic” layout, I couldn’t help but think “ding, ding, ding!” Triggered ALL OVER the place!!!

And it angers me, because it represents rampant thoughtlessness and reiterates how harmful images are embraced and promoted.

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Harmful Body Image Perceptions

I admit it, I love guilty pleasure chick flicks. And one which fully engages all of my angst-driven feminine drama is the 1981 film, “Mommie Dearest,” starring Faye Dunaway as the legendary screen star, Joan Crawford. The movie was based on the tell-all book written by the star’s adopted daughter, Christina Crawford.

It’s now become a part of popular culture. We’ve heard one of the most famous lines repeated in jokes and commentary. According to the book and film, Christina endured a traumatic rage episode in which her mother, having a meltdown, snaps when she sees a wire hanger in Christina’s closet. I guess only satin and lace hangers were acceptable. Whatever that represented to Ms. Crawford, she became unhinged, shrieking the now famous line, “No wire hangers ever!” From there, Ms. Crawford throws all of the dresses out of the closet, onto to floor and proceeds to beat Christina with the wire hanger, all, of course, in an emotional upset. There was crying and screaming from both mother and daughter.
I know, fun times.

So, why am I mentioning this? The wire hangers made me recall an article I read on the fashion industry. Stay with me now. The question asked was concerning why models had to be so thin for the clothes the designers made. The answer given? Models were to be the clothes hangers;

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What is the Root Cause of Your Worry?

A scene from an episode of the final season of “Mad Men” captures a self-doubt moment beautifully. The exchange is between the protagonist, Don Draper and that of his protégée, Peggy Olsen. She recently turned thirty years old and, like most of us, life had not turned out how she expected it would. Peggy has a moment of self-doubt, one to which Draper responded…

“I worry about a lot of things. But I don’t worry about you.”

Worry. We have a lot of it in life. We worry about our jobs, our families, our place in this world and our recovery if we struggle with addictions, disorders and compulsions. We worry, even though “fear not” is mentioned by God numerous times in scripture. We cannot seem to help it.

So, where does all of this worry stem from? How about from a thought? Check yourself and see if you have ever thought some of these things about yourself.

“I’m nobody special…”

This is a biggie, hitting our core identity and our value. Most of us have encountered lying thoughts about ourselves here. Bullying, abuse and peer pressure often lead us to believe we’re worthless and unwanted.

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Running from Suffering

Who can say, “I have made my heart clean;
I am pure from my sin?” Proverbs 20:9

Therefore prepare your minds for action; discipline yourselves; set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when he is revealed. Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires that you formerly had in ignorance. Instead, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; for it is written, ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’ . . . Now that you have purified your souls by your obedience to the truth so that you have genuine mutual love, love one another deeply from the heart. You have been born anew, not of perishable but of imperishable seed, through the living and enduring word of God. 1 Peter 1:13-16, 22-23 NRSV

I am an Army mom. My wonderful son is a combat MP who has served in Iraq and who, with his company, is returning there this summer. Being an Army mom wasn’t something that I chose for myself, but it is something that I embrace because it is what the Lord has chosen for my son. When my first son was away on his first tour, I met many other military moms who were intensely worried for their children’s lives. Many asked me how I could be so calm when my son was in harm’s way.

Now, I’m no saint (except for the wonder of being a follower of the Lord Jesus). But I am practical and I try to embrace the heart of God as much as I can. So, I am able to walk calmly when my son is in Iraq or my husband is working hurricanes for FEMA because there are certain realities of life which American society has tried to erase and unfortunately which the Church has pushed away.

The first reality is that the only guarantee in life is death. Everyone dies.

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Do You Have a Pinocchio Nose?

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper. But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13

Pinocchio – the adorable little story about a marionette who wants to become a real boy. It touches on this real theme, as well as the power of dreaming and the ability to love.

And yes, there’s also the lesson about lying, hence Pinocchio’s growing nose every time he tells a fib.

And that reminds me about the often chaotic journey of recovery when it comes to our addictions, compulsions and issues.

A lot of us having growing noses, don’t we?

Addiction – related issues are subtle, tricky things which seem to sneak up on us from “out of nowhere.” A lot of us may not look “the type.” We may not look like such creatures as an alcoholic, a drug addict or a person struggling with eating disorders. We may appear to have “normal” looking noses, so to speak.

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Do You Have a Diligently Kept Heart?

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23

Recently, I caught a documentary about the Japanese film director and animator, Hayeo Miyazaki. He’s creator of anime feature films including, “My Neighbor Totoro” and “The Wind Rises.”

Anyway, during this documentary, Miyazaki talked about his father and the impact he had on his world view:

“Being welcomed instead of being chased out probably shaped the way this man looked at the world.”
~Hayao Miyazaki

The power of this statement hit me. Looking at this man’s countenance, his joyful and peacefully optimistic demeanor shouts the sentiment loud and clear.

As I’ve been in recovery from both my disordered eating/image and abuse issues, I’ve had to look long and hard at the state of my heart. It’s unflattering and painful to do so, yet quite necessary.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24

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Our Ultimate Beauty Tip?

Change is a constant in life. And, with my recovery work concerning disordered image issues, this principle has become abundantly clear.

I recently came across some beauty tips, published in 1908; they include the following from Amy Ayer’s, Facts for Ladies, Cora Brown Potter’s The Secrets of Beauty and Mysteries of Health and My Lady Beautiful, Or, The Perfection of Womanhood by Alice M. Long. I’ve included them, along with their original 1908 sales pitches.

Brace yourself.

First, there are the meat facials…

“Many Parisian ladies, in the secrecy of their own chambers, on retiring at night, or some part of the day, bind their faces with thin slices of raw beef or veal. For several years a popular lady has used this remedy to feed the tissues of the face, with remarkable results. At thirty-eight she has the complexion and skin of a girl of eighteen.”

My Two Cents…

I don’t care how young you look; you still smell like meat. Last time I checked, that was not a fragrance made by Chanel. Plus, let’s get real. How many ingénues do you actually see with beef on their faces?

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Cross-Addiction: A Way That Seems Right?

Recently, a young girl reached out to me concerning her struggles with disordered eating; she informed me she just took up the habit of smoking.

For what I am doing, I do not understand… The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15

She’s currently in a facility, being treated for bulimia, a mood disorder and self-injury behavior. I asked her what her treatment center thought about this habit. She told me she thought it was a better action than engaging in the eating disorder and self-injury behaviors.

But, to me, it smacks of cross-addiction. Indeed, someone afflicted with an addiction, obsession or disorder can often become convinced if they just switch it for another passion or behavior, he or she will be fine.

I did this myself.

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Recovery: Practice, Practice, Practice

When I was in kindergarten, I took dance class, with emphasis on ballet and tap. At least once a week, I attended these classes, held in Mrs. Taylor’s basement. My strongest memories were the gigantic black bow pinning the back of her bun hairstyle and the 45 records we were given to practice our routines. I especially remember “Alley Cat” and “Practice, Practice, Practice.” I spent hours in my tap shoes, striving for improvement on a square piece of plywood. After a while, I grew to dislike that song immensely. “Practice,” after all, was tedious, boring and frustrating.

Little did I know, however, so often, would life be as well.

According to the famous myth, the character of Sisyphus was condemned to an eternity of hard labor. For a crime against the gods, his assignment was to roll a great boulder to the top of a hill. Each time he completed this task, requiring tremendous effort, reaching the summit, the boulder rolled back downhill again.

Tedious, boring and frustrating…

I recently came across this famous Margaret Thatcher quote:

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