Mental Health/Emotions

Handling Adversity During Christmas

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

What’s the ultimate adversity?

One week before Christmas, adversity may boil down to long lines at the mall or difficult weather conditions for holiday travel. My wife’s scrambling to prepare for a party and receiving little help from a spouse who’s glued to the keyboard—that’s adversity. But I’m thinking along the lines of something a bit more elemental.

One of my best friends is dying.

It’s not the Christmas gift we hoped for, but there it is. The conclusion of a courageous battle with a terrible enemy finally approaches, and we’ll soon have to accept the loss of his physical presence in our circle.

Death doesn’t fit nicely into the Christmas story. Birth and lights and gifts proclaim a priceless promise of hope and beginning. Tinsel and glitter prompt smiles and celebration. Christmas isn’t the time for sad farewells.

Except…

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Prayer for Those Who Struggle with the Holidays

Abba…this is a really hard time of year for so many.

Some are experiencing the first round of holidays and feasts without a loved one…
whether through death or a need for reconciliation.

Some are going through serious illness.

Some are experiencing great financial hardship.

Some are locked into bondages and/or addictions.

Abba, please touch each one, especially those who are reading this prayer and their loved ones.

I lift them all up to You, Abba.

You can bring healing…

where no one else can.

You can touch hearts…

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Guidance: A Lesson from “The Bishop’s Wife”

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9


During the holiday season, we’re inundated with many Christmas movies: “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Miracle On 34th Street,” “Frosty the Snowman” and many variations of the Charles Dickens classic, “A Christmas Carol.”

But one that my husband and I became aware of years ago is “The Bishop’s Wife,” starring David Niven, Loretta Young and the debonair Cary Grant. Indeed, Mr. Grant plays an angel, named Dudley, assigned to the bishop and his wife, as they are challenged with raising money for a cathedral.

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The Fa-La-La-La-La of Holiday Stress?

It’s so easy to feel intimidated and overwhelmed by all of the holiday treats available now. We give so much power to various “forbidden food.” We wonder what the caloric and “fattening” damage may be concerning the buffet that’s presented to us. We’re so worried about what food is to us, we often don’t think much about what we are to God.

What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Psalm 8:4

Yes, there’s no sugar coating it (pun intended): the holidays are challenging to us all. We are faced with numerous, unique fears, memories, expectations and simultaneously occurring situations of /joy/terror/destruction. We can, however, take a second and look at another couple of real promises, as we

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Love the Person You Are and Hate the Person You’ve Been

Did you know that love is a choice? We choose to love or not to love. It’s that simple. But I believe the non-loving choice is not our “true selves.” The non-loving self is absorbed in anger, judgment, resentment, and all kinds of things that we allow to control how we love.

We haven’t let go of past hurts. These hurts control who we are and how we react to people around us. The bottle controls an alcoholic and a hurting person is controlled by resentment.

My husband used to tell me, “I love you, but I don’t love the disease.” What he meant was that he loved me for who I really was, not the alcoholic.

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Obtaining the Warrior Spirit

“…and that’s when I became a warrior!”

I recently caught this statement trending on social media. It’s no surprise why it has caught on. With so much suffering in the world, taking on a fighting perspective can be empowering.

No matter what we’ve experienced in our lives, God has placed within each of us a warrior spirit. He knows full well of our challenges, setbacks, relapses, pain and loss. He also knows of our mighty purpose as well.

And it is precisely that reason why the warrior emerges. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s that kind of thing which attaches itself to our every breath. It’s that thing which does not give up, no matter how many times we feel we cannot go on.

Whatever you have survived in your life – loss, trauma, addiction, abuse, extraordinary pain- God wants you to do something with it, in spite of it.

Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Proverbs 31:8-9

He wants to turn those ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:1-3).

But He doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t just want you to fight for fighting’s sake. He wants to give you the Victory as well!

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

God wants you to experience overcoming that enemy. He didn’t say it would be easy, instant or painless. But He has assured us that Victory is ours.

For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4

And that is often what awakens the warrior within us, often, without our own awareness. Some call it “instinct.” But again, it’s “that thing” which keeps going when everything and everyone else tells us to give up. It’s God given.

And because it is God given,

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Abused? God has victory for You!

There are many of us out there who have been bullied and abused.

Whether we’ve been beaten verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually by a family member, have been teased, thrown in lockers or picked last for teams as kids or, worst case scenario – all of the above – it certainly is a challenge to live through that, let alone, overcome it.

Many of us are underdogs, the forgotten, the least likely.

And that is precisely why one of the things that I love most about God is His viewpoint on that status. God’s “M.O.” is one of championing the underdog, encouraging him/her, and exalting/promoting that individual, not just in spite of the odds, but quite often, because of them.

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We Shall Overcome: Embracing an Attitude of Bravery

Helen Keller once said: “The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.”

Perspective plays a role in how we view our current physical, emotional, spiritual, and attitudinal situations. Is the sum total a barrier or an opportunity? Like a kaleidoscope, we can tweak the patterns of what we see, what we feel, how we respond via our perspective.

For Helen Keller she chose to see the human situation of suffering and seized every opportunity to overcome suffering. When we stop and think about it, overcoming is a lifetime decision. We can either wrap ourselves in a cloak of suffering to insure our self pity and woe is communicated clearly and heard by the masses, seeking sympathy with “poor me. No one knows the trouble I bear.” Or we can embrace an attitude of bravery in Christ—overcoming the suffering.

There are many tough, life-impacting decisions in our lives, but choosing to wallow in the mire of our pain and be satisfied with a life of self pity just doesn’t seem like a healthy life decision. In fact, that’s not why God created us.

First and foremost, God created us to have a personal loving relationship with Him. Hmmmm…. Based on my personal research, Bible study, and life experiences, this means a two-way relationship, including a:

-A relationship with God
-Freely inviting God into every aspect of your life.

No sloughing off here, because God wants every part of you in this relationship. Your mind, soul, spirit, body, and heart. Don’t hold back, or you’ll end up back at that pity party, and we don’t want that do we?

John 10:3-5 gives a relationship view for us to strive for:

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Discipline Or Regret: Which Pain Do We Embrace?

I don’t know who said it, but there is a quote which goes something like:

“You either embrace the pain of discipline or you embrace the pain of regret.”


Yes, I know, it’s a festive one.

Nevertheless, it is a reality check, especially for those of us in recovery from any particular thing which has seized our pleasure centers, all in an effort to escape pain. We desire pleasure to soothe, numb or obliterate our pain. We believe the lie it will happen. Furthermore, we also believe there can be no good thing which comes from denying our indulgences for it.

Therefore, as we stumble and relapse, we often choose to embrace the pain of regret concerning our addictions and the harmful consequences which can follow.

It’s not to shame anyone. Rather, it’s, again, to provide the reality check that none of us are immune from relapse and bad decisions. We are all vulnerable.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalms 103:14

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

It’s acknowledged in the first two Twelve Steps:

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God is……. (Attributes of God)

God is Lord Almighty… Omnipotent King… Lion of Judah… Rock of Ages… Prince of Peace… King of Kings… Lord of Lords … Provider… Protector… Paternal Leader… Ruling Lord… and Reigning King of all the universe. He is Father… He is Helper… He is Guardian… and He is God. He is the First and Last… the Beginning and the End. He is the Keeper of creation and the Creator of all He keeps. He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times. He always was, He always is, and He always will be. Unmoved, unchanged, undefeated, and never undone.

He was bruised and brought healing. He was pierced and eased pain. He was persecuted and bought freedom. He was dead and bought life. He is risen and brings power. He reigns and brings peace. The world can’t understand Him, the armies can’t defeat Him, the schools can’t explain Him, and the leaders can’t ignore Him. Herod couldn’t kill Him, the Pharisees couldn’t confuse Him, the people couldn’t hold Him. Nero couldn’t crush Him, Hitler couldn’t silence Him, the New Age can’t replace Him, and Donahue can’t explain Him away.

He is Light, Love, Longevity, and Lord. He is Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God. He is Holy, Righteous, Mighty, Powerful, and Pure. His ways are right, His word is eternal, His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me. He is my Redeemer, He is my Savior, He is my guide, and He is my peace. He is my joy, He is my comfort, He is my Lord, and He rules my life. I serve Him because His bond is love, His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life. I follow Him because He is the Wisdom of the Wise, the Power of the Powerful, the Ancient of Days, the Ruler of Rulers, the Leader of Leaders, the Overseer of the overcomers, and the Sovereign Lord of all that was and is and is to come. And, if that seems impressive, how about this? His goal is a relationship with ME!

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