Self-Examination

Demolishing Strongholds

A stronghold is a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception. Deception is one of the primary weapons of the devil, because it is the building blocks for a stronghold. What strongholds can do is cause us to think in ways which block us from God’s best.

Two very destructive and common strongholds:

The first one: You see God incorrectly:
One of the most popular and devastating strongholds to have, is an incorrect image in your mind of who God is, and how He sees us. People who see God as a taskmaster, live their lives with an unhealthy fear of God.

What strongholds can do is cause us to think in ways which block us from God’s best.

The first one, where you see God incorrectly: One of the most popular and devastating strongholds to have, is an incorrect image in your mind of who God is, and how He sees us.

People who see God as a taskmaster, live their lives with an unhealthy fear of God.

There’s a good kind of fear of God, which is more like a holy respect for Him, but there’s another kind of fear that is very unhealthy that the enemy wants us to have, and it’s the kind of fear where we see God as a taskmaster, cruel, cold, distant, uncaring and would snap the whip at us the moment we step out of line.

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Naturally Twiggy? Fat Shaming

I once saw a black and white photograph of the ultra-thin model Twiggy eating what appeared to be a plate of batter- dipped fish and French fries. And it provoked something. It had to do with the trigger-rife connection involving her thin physique and disordered food/body image concerns.

Twiggy (real name, Lesley Lawson) was world famous for her look, one which showcased a boyish, thin body, short hair and large eyes that were further accentuated by painted on eyelashes. Named “The Face of 1966” by The Daily Express, she took the 1960’s British Mod Scene and the fashion world by storm.

Yes, Twiggy was a game changer. And, because of her androgynous and thin appearance, she has long been criticized for promoting unhealthy body image messages.

Over the years, she has addressed those critiques when it comes to the topic of eating disorders and her own body:

“I was very skinny, but that was just my natural build. I always ate sensibly — being thin was in my genes.”

Reading that statement, therefore, brought up the concept of beauty variation.

In today’s culture, there’s been an obsession with the thin image. That’s no surprise. But, in more recent years, there’s been a growing movement to promote a variation of body shapes and sizes. Curvy, “plus size,” and “real woman” have been some of the buzz words used to describe and promote a healthier, more inclusive definition of beauty. And that’s wonderful, and, believe me, much needed, especially concerning impressionable youth.

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Roles. Do we box ourselves in?

When we’re little girls, many of us have, at some point, wanted to be an actress. I did. I was “bitten” by the bug at age nine, when I played a baby doll in a school play. From there, I acted in various productions and eventually graduated from college as a theater major.

And during that time, I was exposed to Shakespeare and of course, his female characters. Juliet, Ophelia, Queen Gertrude and Lady Macbeth were the most influential to me.

I first encountered the Juliet character on a Brady Bunch episode (Marcia Brady was cast as Juliet in a school play). I know. It was during the time Franco Zefferelli’s film was out, portraying our young star crossed lovers. And, by the time I hit high school, I’d seen the film. What wasn’t to like? Drama, a love story and two very beautiful lead actors; Juliet was played by Olivia Hussey. Anyway, it lines right up with my desire to be beautiful. And that was, of course, a large part of wanting to be an actress.

And so, it begins – acting.

By the time I entered college, I decided to be a theater major. I was a great way to express myself – and a nifty way to avoid having to take math classes as well. (I was hopeless at algebra). Anyway, by college, I was introduced to Hamlet – and the leading lady role of the young, fragile – and crazy- Ophelia. She was the love interest of Hamlet (again, the star-crossed lovers theme) and I bought into its mystique.

Or rather, I bought into the ingénue’s mystique. Ingénue. According to its definition, it means:

An unsophisticated girl or young woman: a girl or young woman who is naive and lacks experience or understanding of life;
A naive character in drama: a character in a play or a movie who is a naive inexperienced young woman

Really?

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Each of Us is that 100th Sheep

“My people hath been lost sheep: their shepherds have caused them to go astray, they have turned them away on the mountains: they have gone from mountain to hill, they have forgotten their restingplace.” Jeremiah 50:6

Most of us are familiar with the parable of the lost sheep and the passage about the good shepherd.

Flock of sheep. Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
Luke 15:3-7

“I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” John 10:11

And most of us have seen the matching artwork, the depiction of a loving, attentive Jesus holding a lamb in His arms.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart… Isaiah 40:11

Yet, there seems to be a disconnection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus loves us; He’s our good shepherd. But do we REALLY personalize it? And what exactly would that mean to us?

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Obsessed with Unattainable Thinness?

The legendary sex symbol and movie star, Sophia Loren is now 80 years old. Wow- think about that. I know it made me think about the parameters of beauty.

And it made me think of a more current pop culture Sophia, Sophia Vergara (from the sitcom Modern Family). The actress once did a wonderful television commercial for her Kmart clothing line.

The thing which caught my attention was her emphasis on “real woman” figures when it comes to clothing. In the commercial, she breaks into her design studio, breezes by designers hovering over their thin body sketches. She then takes a red pen and draws two sets of curvy bubbles over the bust and derrière areas of the drawings, stating, “you can’t draw a woman with straight lines.”

Bravo and Amen, Ms. Vergara!

Since then, I’ve been having a little “Sophia on the brain.” Both Loren and Vergara have been known as smoldering, exotic beauties with va-va-voom bodies to match. And it’s great to see someone be celebrated who is closer to a “real woman size/shape.”

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Haughtiness is a Superlative Pride

Haughty eyes and a proud heart—the lamp of the wicked—are sin. Proverbs 21:4

I’m dealing with haughtiness right now . . . my own. Haughtiness is a superlative pride, a feeling of being or doing better than others. It’s antonym is humility. And I personally think that seeking the praises of those around you is a part of that.

Scripture is very clear. This is sin. And what’s interesting is that this verse doesn’t talk about sin that we do, but rather sin that we are . . . how we feel and think and make choices. It can be easy, within our church culture, to act like a Christian. In fact, I’ve had some Christians tell me that they never sin. And if we were speaking only of the sins that we can do, they may be right. Likely they don’t kill or steal or commit adultery. But the Lord looks past our actions into our hearts:

The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart 1 Samuel 16:7b NRSV

Two people, standing side by side, could look very much the same from the outside and yet one could be truly humble and one could be truly prideful.

Tozer, in his book, That Incredible Christian, lists the attributes of a spiritual person:

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Glamourizing Triggers

“Pain is beauty.”

As a female, I certainly heard that phrase and took it to heart. I believed the lie that it was a female’s obligation to endure pain and suffering for beauty. Hence, my dark battle with eating disorders developed.

Recently, I caught a fashion ad which disturbed me.

Fashion photographer Danil Golovkin did a layout in which she featured model, Anastasiya Kolbasko. This, in my opinion, was a glamourized depiction of eating disorder behavior.

Rather than wearing the jewelry designs, the blonde model “eats” the adornments of gold styled by Liliya Simonyan.

But, the photos go further. There is posing of the model and the jewelry to suggest actual purging; in some photos, Anastasiya appears to be vomiting the jewelry. And, in every photo of the series, of course, the model has dead eyes and looks, quite frankly, cadaverous.

Triggering. That’s an oft-used word for those of us recovering from disordered eating and harmful, negative body image issues.

Looking at this “artistic” layout, I couldn’t help but think “ding, ding, ding!” Triggered ALL OVER the place!!!

And it angers me, because it represents rampant thoughtlessness and reiterates how harmful images are embraced and promoted.

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Harmful Body Image Perceptions

I admit it, I love guilty pleasure chick flicks. And one which fully engages all of my angst-driven feminine drama is the 1981 film, “Mommie Dearest,” starring Faye Dunaway as the legendary screen star, Joan Crawford. The movie was based on the tell-all book written by the star’s adopted daughter, Christina Crawford.

It’s now become a part of popular culture. We’ve heard one of the most famous lines repeated in jokes and commentary. According to the book and film, Christina endured a traumatic rage episode in which her mother, having a meltdown, snaps when she sees a wire hanger in Christina’s closet. I guess only satin and lace hangers were acceptable. Whatever that represented to Ms. Crawford, she became unhinged, shrieking the now famous line, “No wire hangers ever!” From there, Ms. Crawford throws all of the dresses out of the closet, onto to floor and proceeds to beat Christina with the wire hanger, all, of course, in an emotional upset. There was crying and screaming from both mother and daughter.
I know, fun times.

So, why am I mentioning this? The wire hangers made me recall an article I read on the fashion industry. Stay with me now. The question asked was concerning why models had to be so thin for the clothes the designers made. The answer given? Models were to be the clothes hangers;

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What is the Root Cause of Your Worry?

A scene from an episode of the final season of “Mad Men” captures a self-doubt moment beautifully. The exchange is between the protagonist, Don Draper and that of his protégée, Peggy Olsen. She recently turned thirty years old and, like most of us, life had not turned out how she expected it would. Peggy has a moment of self-doubt, one to which Draper responded…

“I worry about a lot of things. But I don’t worry about you.”

Worry. We have a lot of it in life. We worry about our jobs, our families, our place in this world and our recovery if we struggle with addictions, disorders and compulsions. We worry, even though “fear not” is mentioned by God numerous times in scripture. We cannot seem to help it.

So, where does all of this worry stem from? How about from a thought? Check yourself and see if you have ever thought some of these things about yourself.

“I’m nobody special…”

This is a biggie, hitting our core identity and our value. Most of us have encountered lying thoughts about ourselves here. Bullying, abuse and peer pressure often lead us to believe we’re worthless and unwanted.

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Do You Have a Pinocchio Nose?

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper. But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13

Pinocchio – the adorable little story about a marionette who wants to become a real boy. It touches on this real theme, as well as the power of dreaming and the ability to love.

And yes, there’s also the lesson about lying, hence Pinocchio’s growing nose every time he tells a fib.

And that reminds me about the often chaotic journey of recovery when it comes to our addictions, compulsions and issues.

A lot of us having growing noses, don’t we?

Addiction – related issues are subtle, tricky things which seem to sneak up on us from “out of nowhere.” A lot of us may not look “the type.” We may not look like such creatures as an alcoholic, a drug addict or a person struggling with eating disorders. We may appear to have “normal” looking noses, so to speak.

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