Relationships

Why Do Marriages Fail?

Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don’t work the program, we won’t know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will fail the marriage class.

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV

Why Do Marriages Fail? Read More »

When the Wheels Come Off

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we’d run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970’s unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! “Turn it off,” my mother would say to my dad. “Good grief! The wheel’s are coming off but they make it sound like the world’s ending.”

When the Wheels Come Off Read More »

How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

Ask Angie: I am finding it hard to trust my husband again. We’ve been married for 31 years. this Valentine’s day and in year 28 I found out he was heavily into drugs, which he now claims to be free of, but I still have a hard time believing him because of the extent he wants to hide his use. All the lies, deceit, and now the unwillingness to discuss it with me, leaves me with many unanswered questions.

How Can I Trust My Husband Again? Read More »

How Can We Balance Recovery and Our Marriage?

Ask Angie: Hello friend in Christ…just wanted to tell you my husband and I have been having issues for a while now. He is in recovery and I am not (although I am not an addict) I need Alanon in my life but find it hard to arrange a ride (no car) and sitter for my 6 yr. old. My husband lives three houses away from our home. I try not to hassle him about time with us but he seems to need time with the AA family more and we really need him to show us emotionally he cares to keep the family together too. I understand he has to stay sober to be a dad/husband of any kind, but to me there is a huge vacancy in our life. I love him with all my heart. We need counseling terribly and church makes me so happy. I’m without a vehicle so life is kind of challenging now.

How Can We Balance Recovery and Our Marriage? Read More »

Questions For Couples

1. What are some of the ways you can learn to not dwell on the negative of your marriage?

2. Do you think there are areas in your marriage that you try and control and change? Write down what those areas are. Now write down alternate ways to handle those areas rather than trying to control or change your spouse.

Areas you now try to control:

a.

b.

c.

What alternate ways can you stop trying to control or change those areas:

a.

b.

c.

Questions For Couples Read More »

Step 7 and Humility

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Jesus said:
Matthew 18:3-4 KJV
“Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Without true, honest, heartfelt humility we can not recover; We can not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Step 7 and Humility Read More »

Are You Tending Your Garden?

Recovery is much like tending our own garden. A garden needs water, fertilizer, sunshine, good soil and a lot of attention by the gardener. We, as Christians and recovering people need:

  • the water of prayer, meditation, and communing with God
  • the fertilizer of fellowship
  • the “Sonshine” of resting in Him (letting go and letting God)
  • the rich soil of God’s Word in which to firmly anchor our roots. Not only must we read the Word but we must *understand* it and *actively apply* it to our own lives. Roots must be anchored in the soil, they must take up the nourishment and then send it to the entire system of the plant so it may flourish.
  • a lot of attention by us, as our own gardeners, to remove all weeds that appear.

Are You Tending Your Garden? Read More »

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

What does love have to do with recovery? EVERYTHING! Easily a book could be written on this subject but I only have a few lines, so here goes.

Lack of self-love results in a tremendous amount of inner pain. Low self-esteem often leads people to look to sources outside of themselves for the love that they do not feel for themselves. This can result in “looking for love in all the wrong places” like same sex relationships, drugs, abusive relationships, codependent relationships, eating too much, alcohol, improper sexual relationships, etc. Or one might try medicating the pain with drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, etc.

What’s Love Got to Do With It? Read More »

Relationships: Trusting God and Not Ourselves

Proverbs 19:5 NRSV
A false witness will not go unpunished,
and a liar will not escape.

Our mouths get us into more trouble than most other things, particularly if we are the kind of people who consider ourselves to be moral. I mean, we would never consider shooting someone or punching them out. But it’s nothing to gossip about them with a co-worker in a hidden corner. Rather than express our anger and fear to someone else, we need to learn how to pray.

Relationships: Trusting God and Not Ourselves Read More »