Relationships

Codependency FAQ

What is Codependency?
There are probably as many definitions of codependency as there are people who consider themselves to be codependent. Basically, if you identify with the posts here, and with the info in the books found on the subject, you might consider yourself to be codependent.

In “Codependent No More,” Melody Beattie gives several definitions. She includes Earnie Larsen’s definition:

    “Those self-defeating, learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or to participate in loving relationships.”

Melody Beattie’s own definition is:

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Sex, Love & Porn Addiction FAQ

Those who are dealing with Sex, Love & Porn Addiction (SLA) and/or Same Sex Attraction (SSA) often believe that God has abandoned them.

There is an incredible tug of war within. One side of the individual wants desperately to do God’s Will while the other side aches for intimacy. Inner turmoil reigns between passion and Godly living. It is easy to feel as if one is drowning in a sea of emotions and no help is on the horizon. It seems an endless struggle with no where to go for consolation and strength. One feels a victim of addiction and/or attraction. Frustration leads to feelings of futility. This futility kindles feelings of self-hatred and guilt as well as anger at God.

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My boyfriend is violent but promises to change. Is it OK for me to marry him?

My boyfriend has been violent towards me in the past. If he promises to change, is it okay if I still marry him?

God has a very specific plan for your life. Before you do anything, you need to seek His will. Marriage is a difficult and serious decision, even when all circumstances seem to be perfect.When you add an issue like violence to the situation, the decision becomes much more difficult.

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I am facing a divorce. What can I do?

I am facing a divorce. What can I do?

This dissolution of a marriage is such a sad thing. Christ longs to bring fulfillment to a couple through their marital covenant. A Christian marriage is a beautiful thing built on love, trust, respect and, most importantly, Christ. Read what the Bible say to husbands and wives in 1 Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:21-33, and 1 Corinthians, chapter 7.

Remember, all things are possible through Jesus Christ–even the restoration of your marriage. Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead; surely He can resurrect your hurting relationship! Please, seek godly counsel today. Don’t let another day pass while the chasm between you and your spouse grows wider and wider.

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My husband gets angry sometimes and hits me. What can I do?

My husband and I are both Christians, but he gets angry sometimes and has hit me before. What can I do?

God’s plan for every marriage, especially a Christian one, is peace and love. He intends for the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church (see Ephesians 5). God has called every husband to spiritual leadership in the family and He has called every wife to submission to that leadership. When this model is not practiced, family members are robbed of the joy that the Lord has planned for them in their Christian home.

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My husband is verbally mean to me. What can I do about it?

My husband is verbally mean to me. What can I do about it?

Often, people are verbally abusive with derogatory statements, insults and negativity because of personal feeling of inadequacy. Some people truly believe that the only time they can look good is when the others around them look bad. I can think of a specific personal instance in which a friend of mine married a man who always put her down in public. My immediate reaction was always that his actions made him look small and quite inferior.

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