Self-Esteem

Preventing Relapse

Addicts relapse when it is more painful to stay sober than it is to get “high”. The immediate benefits of ceasing drug and alcohol use include:
improved health, better sleep , return of appetite, and clearer thinking. However, all addicts eventually face a challenge even more difficult than stopping drinking or using drugs — coping with life without them! Doing so involves a whole lot more than just “putting the cork in the bottle”. They must they learn a completely new way of life. We often refer to this process as “recovery” — the Bible calls it “sanctification” — a definite ongoing program of personal growth

Major Causes of Relapse

  • Denial
    inability to accept that one is indeed addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and that it is a primary cause of life problems.

  • Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome
    inability to cope with a set of very stressful, physiologically-based symptoms that occur only after use of alcohol and drugs has stopped

  • Emotional Dysfunction
    inability to cope with feelings such as grief, depression, stress, fear, etc., without mind altering substances.

  • Relational Dysfunction
    inability to develop and maintain healthy relationships with others.

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Pornography, Christianity and Control

When thinking of pornography and Christianity and the issue of control, things get quite interesting. Matthew 18:3 informs us:

    And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

On the other hand it seems intuitive that the repetitive use of pornography is proof that our “internal adolescent” has wrested away the controls in the command center of our brain and what is needed is a return of control to the superego. We long for simple joys, simple trust, unconditional love but there is no denying that we physically are no longer children and we can get into some very big trouble.

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Carrying the Burdens of Your Past?

We’re commanded in Hebrews 12:1 to “lay aside every weight” so we can “run with patience the race that is set before us.” Consider that first command: lay aside every weight, every burden that slows us down in our race forward. If we’re dwelling on the past, that means we’ve stopped running, picked up some weights we were commanded to drop, and are giving them (not God or His commandments and His service) all our attention. No wonder we stop running and even start walking backward. For good reason do race horses wear blinders that force them to look forward, blocking out distractions so they can focus on the race.

Even worse, Hebrews 12:1 continues on into the second verse, explaining what we should be looking at when we run the race “set before us” (set in front of us): “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher ofour faith.” If we’re looking at the past, we’re violating this second command of God’s: we’re not only picking up weights and burdens we were told to lay aside, to drop to the ground and regard as worthless impediments, but we’re not looking at Jesus but rather at those forbidden weights instead. We should be rejoicing that Christ tells us to drop all these weights. Satan’s worst enemy is a Christian focused on the future and running his race well.

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The Hamster Wheel: Are You Doing the Same Thing Over and Over?

The famous phrase, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result” can probably best be depicted by the hamster on the hamster wheel.

Ever had a hamster as a pet? When I was eleven, I had one by the name of Mitsy. The concept of having a hamster didn’t quite measure up to the actual reality. For one, I could never pick her up and cuddle her. One attempt at doing so, Mitsy whipped her head around and sunk those two long front teeth into my finger. Here’s a helpful factoid: hamster bites HUR-R-R-R-T!!!

And then there was that hamster smell, emanating from her cage. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

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Jairus’ Daughter – a Bible Story that Sparked My Eating Disorder Recovery

Could a simple Bible story spark eating disorder recovery? Well, for me, it did. The account of Jairus’ daughter, found in Mark 5:35-43, became the catalyst to hope, life, freedom, and yes, my recovery. I chronicle my eating disorder odyssey, recovery included, in my book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.” From this scriptural passage, I encountered tangible proof that God’s Word was relevant and applicable. I learned some good news, all right.

Nothing’s too difficult; no one’s too impossible for God.
I saw that in Jairus’ daughter. I have, likewise, seen it in my own life, as well as the lives of others. And this simple Bible story is now a declaration of hope to all young girls and women, dealing with eating disorders, food, weight and body image issues. You, too, can arise!

    “Little girl, I say unto you, arise.” Mark 5:41

I had done and been so many horrible things. As far as I was concerned, I was on my way to hell. But I couldn’t shake the thoughts of this story. Was there hope that I wasn’t doomed after all?

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What’s My Spinach? (Eating Disorder Recovery)

In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul. Psalm 138:3

When I was a little girl, I remember buying into the Popeye-eating-his-spinach-and-becoming powerful–thing hook, line and sinker. I believed in it so strongly, that, after eating my spinach, I would then run around my family’s farm, waiting for that epic strength to suddenly kick in and I guess, launch me into the stratosphere.

Yeah, I’m still waiting on that one.

I started thinking about this incident in relation to my eating disorder development and recovery. And I started seeing idolatry in how I saw spinach.

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Am I Codependent or being a Good Christian?

On the surface, codependency messages sound like Christian teaching:

    “Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves.”
    (Aren’t Christians to put others first?) .

    “Codependents give themselves away.”
    (Shouldn’t Christians do the same?).

    “Codependents martyr themselves.”
    (Doesn’t Christianity honor its martyrs?)

Those statements have a familiar ring, don’t they? Then how can we distinguish between codependency, which is unhealthy to codependents and their dependents, and mature faith, which is healthy.

Codependency says:.

    I have little or no value.
    Other persons and situations have all the value.

Am I Codependent or being a Good Christian? Read More »

Giving Faith the Victory Over our Fears

A study on Life Controlling Fears

    8:35-37, NKJV
    Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed. Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.

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Am I Codependent?

If you think or believe the following statements, it may be a sign that you are codependent:

    My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.

    My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.

    Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention is focused on solving your problems or relieving your pain.

    My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.

    My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

    My mental attention is focused on manipulating you “to do it my way.”

    My self ­esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

    My self ­esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.

Am I Codependent? Read More »

The Breath of Life: How Do You Feel About Yourself?

Do you like yourself? How do you feel about yourself? How do you view yourself? In the eyes of those around you? Your peers? Your family members? Your employers and the other authority figures in your life? In the eyes of your Lord Jesus Christ?

Personally, for as long as I could remember, I had dwelt beneath a shadow of deep inner shame. Shame that whispered in my ear, tortuously accusing me with words such as, “You are dirty; you are worthless and deserving of punishment; you are unlovable and warrant no merit in this world.”

Proverbs 23:7 teaches us that, For as he thinks in his heart, so is he [Amplified Bible]. Like the leper in Luke 5:12, I knew (or so I thought) that I was unclean. However, unlike the leper in Luke 5, I had no idea that Jesus could make me clean, and that He desired to do so. I was lost in a deep ocean of deceit with the waves of false belief tossing me against the sharp and slippery rocks created by the lies of the enemy – Satan – along with many falsehoods from my past without God. Furthermore, I was being dragged beneath the dark surface by the undertow of lack of knowledge:

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