Rejection - Christians in Recovery

Getting My Eyes Off of Myself

A cheerful heart is a good medicine,
but a downcast spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 NRSV

We visited a church with our kids on Sunday. The pastor, in trying to make a point about honesty, addressed the dynamic that occurs when friends meet together: “How are you?” “I’m fine.” He concluded that often the “I’m fine” is actually a lie because we aren’t fine.

But are we?

As Christians should we have any opportunity for griping or complaining, moaning or groaning? Or are we actually stating a truth when we say “I’m fine,” a truth that perhaps we really don’t embrace but which is a truth nonetheless? Paul wrote:

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Am I Codependent or being a Good Christian?

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On the surface, codependency messages sound like Christian teaching:

(Aren’t Christians to put others first?)

(Shouldn’t Christians do the same?).

“Codependents martyr themselves.”
(Doesn’t Christianity honor its martyrs?)

Those statements have a familiar ring, don’t they? Then how can we distinguish between codependency, which is unhealthy to codependents and their dependents, and mature faith, which is healthy.

Codependency says:.

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Giving Faith the Victory Over our Fears

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A study on Life Controlling Fears

Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed. Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.

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Am I Codependent?

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If you think or believe the following statements, it may be a sign that you are codependent:

My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.

Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention is focused on solving your problems or relieving your pain.

My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.

My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

My mental attention is focused on manipulating you “to do it my way.”

My self esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

My self esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.

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Has God Abandoned You?

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Has God Abandoned You? Do you believe that He no longer loves you or cares about you? Have circumstances become so dire that there is no hope at all? I have been there too – in that dark night of the soul. The pit is so deep, so black, the walls so steep and slick that there seems to be no way out.

The times I have felt so lost, alone and totally abandoned by God were so dark I believed there was no hope. I honestly thought that God no longer cared about me. But looking back I can see that I was like a 3 year old whose mother had gone out of the room I was in. There I was all alone. It was as if I spilled milk all over myself and did not know what to do. Where was mommy?

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The Breath of Life: How Do You Feel About Yourself?

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Do you like yourself? How do you feel about yourself? How do you view yourself? In the eyes of those around you? Your peers? Your family members? Your employers and the other authority figures in your life? In the eyes of your Lord Jesus Christ?

Personally, for as long as I could remember, I had dwelt beneath a shadow of deep inner shame. Shame that whispered in my ear, tortuously accusing me with words such as, “You are dirty; you are worthless and deserving of punishment; you are unlovable and warrant no merit in this world.”

Proverbs 23:7 teaches us that, For as he thinks in his heart, so is he [Amplified Bible]. Like the leper in Luke 5:12, I knew (or so I thought) that I was unclean. However, unlike the leper in Luke 5, I had no idea that Jesus could make me clean, and that He desired to do so. I was lost in a deep ocean of deceit with the waves of false belief tossing me against the sharp and slippery rocks created by the lies of the enemy – Satan – along with many falsehoods from my past without God. Furthermore, I was being dragged beneath the dark surface by the undertow of lack of knowledge:

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When Loved Ones Resent Your Recovery

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It is not uncommon for those who start a new life in recovery to encounter resentment from their spouses, loved ones and/or friends. If this is the case, you will be put to the test by those who care for you most. This can be confusing because those who should be encouraging you in recovery are actually making it more difficult.

Your spouse may become resentful because you are spending more time at recovery meetings and less time with them. Stand strong and lovingly explain to your spouse that you need to take time for yourself in order to get your life back on track. Suggest that they come with you to open meetings where the loved ones are welcome so they can better understand your recovery process.

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The Answer To All My Prayers

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I asked God for strength that I might achieve
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey…

I asked for health that I might do greater things
I was given infirmity that I might do better things…

I asked for riches that I might be happy
I was given poverty that I might be wise…

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life
I was given life that I might enjoy all things…

I got nothing I asked for
I got all things I hoped for…

Despite myself my prayers were answered
I among all people are most richly blessed…

Prayer of an unknown Civil War soldier

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Do You Know You are Chosen and What it Means?

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Psalm 89:3a (NRSV) “I have made a covenant with my chosen one.”

There is amazing power in this statement for three reasons. The first is that we — as God’s adopted children — were chosen by Him! Isn’t that wonderful? It’s beyond comprehension for me that, at the beginning of creation, even before time began, God looked down at all the souls and chose me! (He chose every person who would respond to His love and His call to salvation). Paul writes:

Just as He chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before Him in love. He destined us for adoption as His children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:4-6 NRSV

I’m adopted. My birth mom, as I understand it, was an unwed pregnant teen and, with an amazing amount of courage, understood that she was ill prepared to care for a baby. So, my parents who couldn’t have children, chose to adopt me. They didn’t have to. They could have even come to the hospital, viewed my bald head and tiny feet, and rejected me. But they didn’t. Instead, my parents chose me and gave me a wonderful home and childhood.

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Expressing Emotions in Eating Disorder Recovery

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In eating disorder recovery, you might discover that you have difficulty identifying and expressing your emotions. Perhaps you stuff your feelings because they make you uncomfortable or you simply have never learned what to do with them. But as you find ways to identify and express your emotions, this can help you in your eating disorder recovery.

You may have grown up in a home where you didn’t feel it was safe to express your feelings or perhaps you met people later in life who gave the impression that you should not show your emotions with them. Maybe others have been angry or critical toward you regarding the expression of your feelings. Your parents may have been so uncomfortable with emotions themselves that they never learned healthy ways to express them so they were never able to model this for you. It may be that they were okay with emotions, but for some reason you still got the impression that you should keep your feelings to yourself.

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