Shopping

Pins and Needles: Chronic Abuse and Trauma

Our formative years present the potential for self-harm to thrive. Our early experiences, for better or worse, shape us. And sometimes, that shaping can take the form of addiction. Hypervigilance often results from certain incidents, in which trauma somehow established our need to self-medicate.

“… When a child grows up afraid or under constant or extreme stress, the immune system and body’s stress response systems may not develop normally. Later on, when the child or adult is exposed to even ordinary levels of stress, these systems may automatically respond as if the individual is under extreme stress… Adults with histories of trauma in childhood have been shown to have more chronic physical conditions and problems. They may engage in risky behaviors that compound these conditions (e.g., smoking, substance use, and diet and exercise habits that lead to obesity).” “Effects of Complex Trauma,” http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects-of-complex-trauma

My first memory, a traumatic one at that, was when I was three years old; my parents decided to move the family’s sewing machine from one floor of our house to another. But they neglected to remove its drawers, filled with hundreds of needles and pins. Inevitably, I toddled downstairs, stepping on many of them.

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It is Just the Beginning

I have learned to trust God. I have faith my past is gone. I have let it all go and given it to God to handle. This is just the beginning for me, though.

My journey through recovery begins with Christ and it continues with Him. I could not have started nor could I continue without His help and guidance through all of the steps of recovery. I may not be an alcoholic or addicted to a drug, but I have other issues to contend with as a result of living with addiction.

  • Each day I must turn my need for control over to God’s care.
  • Each day I must turn over my past shopping compulsion to God because He is enough to fill any void I have.
  • Each day I must rid myself of co-dependency and be fully dependent upon Him to comfort me.

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Are You Armed and Ready?

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11


Once I admitted my issues with control, trust, retail therapy, and co-dependency, I found the love of God waiting for me. Since I had not previously walked the Christian walk, I had a lot to learn. I am an overachiever and a perfectionist by nature, so naturally I wanted to know as much as I could in a relatively short period of time.

I dove in head first into studying God’s Word. I prayed without ceasing. I thanked Jesus on a daily basis for saving me. I did everything right, right?

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Overcoming Co-dependency and Attempting to Control

“Behold, I am going to send an angel before you to guard you along the way and to bring you into the place which I have prepared.” Exodus 23:20


I have a problem. Realizing I have a problem was not easy for me. From the outside looking in, I’ve always been the girl who had it all together. I had a plan and nothing would veer me away from it. Control over people, situations, and outcomes is the tool I used to cope with my deep problem. Shopping and racking up debt is how I covered up my emptiness.

Step one of my recovery journey began with admitting I have a problem with co-dependency and controlling others. I admitted I am powerless over my addictions, brokenness and sinful patterns—that in my own power my life is unmanageable.

I’ve not always walked the Christian walk. Days passed by without me giving much thought to how God figured into my life. Years came and went without prayer, obedience, or thankfulness. A Bible sat on a bookshelf gathering dust. Instead, I concerned myself with my expectations of others. This, of course, only led to disappointments. I constantly searched for material “stuff” to fill the gaping hole in my heart. The thrill of the sale item or shiny new thing lasted only a short time, then I was back feeling empty again.

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What is Addiction?

The term “addiction” is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence, such as: drug addiction, video games, crime, alcoholism, compulsive overeating, problem gambling, computer addiction, pornography, compulsive shopping, workaholism, over exercising, etc.

Addiction severely impacts not only the addicted or dysfunctional person but also everyone who comes in contact with them (loved ones, friends, family, children, co-workers, neighbors, associates, etc.).

Addiction may involve having a dependence on a substance (i.e., alcohol, marijuana, food, prescription or nonprescription drugs) or an activity (i.e., shopping, gambling, hoarding, self-injury, etc.). It can be either a physical (as in the case of most drugs) or psychological (as in the case of most activities) compulsion to use the substance of activity as a way to cope with everyday life, problems and/or circumstances. The dysfunctional person will often have deep seated feelings of guilt and shame which they try to cover up.

Addiction is a habitual behavior that is extremely difficult to control and leads to activities that are designed solely to continue or cover up the addiction itself (e.g., an alcoholic hiding bottles around their home, the drug addict embezzling to support their habit, lashing out in anger blaming others for their own behaviors or consequences of those behaviors).

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5 Ways To Give Up Improper Habits

I use the word “improper” because I hate using the word “bad”. Bad sounds evil or terrible, and some habits just aren’t that bad; they might be annoying but they are not bad. What improper habits do you have? We all have improper habits that we exhibit occasionally, especially with our spouse. For this particular article, I’m talking about the annoying little idiosyncrasies that we carry around on a daily basis that may or may not frustrate those we live with.

1. Identify Your Habits

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Emotions/Mental Health Info & Help

We understand the frustration you may be experiencing regarding mental illness. It is extremely difficult for doctors to treat and they often do not understand the anguish you are going through personally. Jesus is the Great Physician and He has compassion beyond measure.

You are not alone! God can and will help you overcome your situation.

The Christians in Recovery Web site is loaded with hundreds of pages of information and files designed to help you learn more about and conquer depression and various mental health issues:
http://christians-in-recovery.org/Issues_MentalHealth
http://christians-in-recovery.org/Tools_Library_NIMH-BiPolar
http://christians-in-recovery.org/Tools_Library_NIMH-Depression

Talk with others who are in recovery. Learn how they overcame.

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A Study on Coveting

Lord, dig the earth out of my heart!

You shall not covet. Exodus 20:17

Observe the holiness and perfection of God’s law, which forbids the first motions and risings of sin in the heart. The laws of men take hold of actions; but the law of God goes further—it forbids not only sinful actions—but sinful desires. These lusts and desires after the forbidden fruit are sinful.

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