It’s been said the mother-daughter relationship is the most complicated dynamic around. Therefore, most of us can see why eating disorder behaviors often arise within these relationships. The influential modeling of mother on daughter impacts her beauty values.
But the issue goes beyond just appearance; the enmeshment creates a tug of war for control and autonomy.
The Mother-Daughter Tug-of-War Read More »
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! Proverbs 25:11, 12: 25, 13:12, 15:23, King James Version
Something very exciting and wonderful happened to me last night and I felt like I was going to explode with happiness but there was nobody around that I could share it with so I lost some of the joy and excitement that I was feeling. It was like someone had taken a pin and pricked a balloon and some of the air went out of the balloon.
While it is important that we listen to people when they are hurting, I believe it is just as important, if not more important to listen to them when they are excited. If we stay on the mountain tops of happiness, excitement and joy, we will spend far less time down in the valleys of despair, hopelessness, depression and discouragement.
Don’t let anyone tell you that it is impossible to stay on the mountain tops because that is a lie straight from the pits of hell! Yes, we will have times of discouragement, loneliness and despair due to difficult circumstances, heartaches, criticism, ridicule, scorn and sarcasm. However if Jesus lives in our hearts, He will be faithful to once again refresh our hearts with His understanding, joy, unconditional love, happiness, mercy, grace and kindness. Indeed, Jesus is able to keep us on the mountain tops.
Two years ago, I received an email from a pastor who was very discouraged and hurting. He told me “I preach my heart out and nobody says “Amen,” smiles or laughs at the humorous points in my sermons.” He said that he had been the pastor at this church for five years and no one had ever invited him and his wife to dinner. The pastor told me “I love God and it is my desire to serve Him, but I am human and sometimes I get very discouraged. Would you please pray for me?” How my heart went out to Him!
Listen and Encourage Read More »
Are you a “cutter” and don’t even know it?
Self-injury, largely through the behavior of “cutting,” is often experienced, in tandem with disordered eating.
But, I am putting it out there, that almost all of us are affected with this harmful condition in one way or another. Sound like an exaggeration?
How else do you explain the many self-inflicted, tormenting thoughts, words or deeds we engage in, on a daily basis.
Have you ever been on a diet? Have you ever said to yourself or others, “I’m too fat?”
Are You a “Cutter” and Don’t Even Know It? Read More »
“Know the difference between those who stay to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit.”
This sobering statement recently came to my attention. I don’t know who originally said it, but it resonates, all the same.
It has personally factored in heavily as I have learned, firsthand, who was a part of my healthy support system…and who was NOT.
Indeed, this concept plays a MAJOR role for each of us as we navigate our addiction/recovery journeys. It is usually not too long in life, before we encounter the all too common cliché dysfunction of co-dependency, narcissism and/or exploitation.
Know the Difference: Healthy or Unhealthy Support System? Read More »
“I wish I looked like…”
For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. James 3:16
In day two of this national eating disorder awareness week, we turn our attention to appearance. Indeed, wishing, coveting and image are right there in our lives. The outside world displays some aspirational form of aesthetically pleasing and powerful messages; beauty,
especially within the definition of a rigid, thin beauty, becomes its dominant depiction.
This hierarchy of human value, intensified with its dangled promises of untold perfection, happiness and a problem-free existence, can often find us is a position to covet, to envy and to further exemplify less than positive character attributes in the process.
A sound heart is the life of the flesh:
but envy the rottenness of the bones. Proverbs 14:30
And it stems from a place of fear: we fear we are inadequate as is. Scripture, however, negates that concept…
Self-Esteem: “I wish I looked like…” Read More »
Finally, on this last day of this eating disorder awareness week, we encounter, perhaps, the trickiest issue: love. The Most High’s love is so thorough and passionate, it outlasts time. It is everlasting.
“… Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3
We are that wanted.
We often underestimate that reality. We can get distorted tunnel vision, convinced by the rejection we encounter in our lives.
Our experiences often produce a lie with each negative encounter: “you are unlovable.”
7 “I wish I was loved…” Read More »
Since thou wast precious in my sight… I have loved thee… Isaiah 43:4
Our eating awareness week continues with acceptability. Indeed, there is the pervasive lie out there which tells us how beauty equals acceptance.
And, certainly within our culture, we are inundated with more than enough evidence that this theory is “fact.” Look how we fawn over Hollywood, the fashion world and particular image aesthetics. We are convinced “the beautiful people” are more valuable, more relevant and definitely more accepted than anyone who is not fitting that criteria.
“I wish I was acceptable…” Read More »
And all they that heard them laid them up in their hearts, saying, What manner of child shall this be! And the hand of the Lord was with him. Luke 1:66 King James Version
Two days ago when I was at the store, I saw a precious little baby who was probably one month old. When I looked at him, he immediately started smiling at me, clapped his hands, kicked his feet and started laughing. He got excited and happy because someone was paying attention to him. How sad and tragic it is that when children grow older, we stop paying as much attention to them as we did when they were little. Sometimes we turn on the television and let the television become our babysitters so that we can do the things we want to do and not be bothered all day with the children. The thought came to me “This little baby is already acting like a missionary because I see the kindness of Jesus in his face”.
What Transforms Tender Hearts to Hard Hearts?
What happens to make these precious tender hearted and sweet babies turn into people who end up with hard hearts, become criminals and possibly even end up on death row? There has to be a reason that they stop loving people and start hating people. I believe it is because as they grow older and people begin to criticize them for everything that they do and say harsh and sarcastic things to them that their confidence begins to fade. They become suspicious of everyone and they stop trying to do nice things for others. I believe that they think what is the use of trying anymore as I will just be criticized again.
WhenDiscouragement Sets In
What You Say Matters Read More »
“My times are in Your hand!” Psalm 31:15 
Firmly believing that my times are in God’s hand, I here submit myself and all my affairs for the ensuing year, to the wise and gracious disposal of God’s divine providence. Whether God appoints for me…
may His holy will be done!
All my time, strength, and service, I devote to the honor of the Lord Jesus–and even my common actions. It is my earnest expectation, hope, and desire, my constant aim and endeavor–that Jesus Christ may be magnified in me.
A Prayer for the New Year (by Matthew Henry) Read More »
“In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”
~Lewis Carol, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”
The new year: it is a minefield. There can be this weird concoction of hope and discouragement, effort and apathy.
A social media post, once again, caught my attention concerning this point. It was of the literary figure, Alice, from Carol’s classic work, essentially binging.
And this was the image’s caption…
“I can relate to Alice. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking everything she sees with the hope that it might actually solve all her problems.”
The New Year: With the Hope? Read More »
