Sexual Abuse

Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 1

by Dale & Juanita Ryan
See: Part 2 | Part 3

The God of the Bible is a God who saves and heals. The Bible is clear about this: He will deliver the needy who cry out, he will rescue them from oppression and violence. Psalm 72: 12,14) When we see our need, acknowledge our inability to save ourselves, and cry out, God delivers us. God rescues us from oppression and violence. Whether it is the oppression and violence of our compulsions and addictions or the oppression and violence of abuse and neglect, God delivers us and heals us. God is powerful enough and loving enough to deliver us from all of the oppression and violence we face.

This is the good news proclaimed in Scripture. And it is the basis for our hope on the recovery journey. We cannot save ourselves. Or heal ourselves. But God can. And God will.

Sound simple? It turns out to be anything but simple. There are several reasons for this. First, we find it hard to believe that God is

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Rape or Sexual Abuse and the Victim’s Sexual Purity

by Derek Carlsen  »  Bio
Faith For All of Life “Historical Revisionism: Why All the Fuss?”

One of the scourges of our day is the crime of rape or sexual abuse. Many live in fear of becoming the next victim. The horror and trauma of being sexually abused is known firsthand by an excessive number of people. Even worse, the shame and stigma that society associates with such crimes means that the victims suffer in almost solitary confinement. This ought not to be!

My desire in this article is to address the sense of guilt and moral pollution that often attaches to victims of rape or sexual abuse. I believe God’s Word provides instruction so that these victims might be set free from their feelings of guilt and moral pollution (John 8:32). For the church to be able to minister to these victims in a godly way, believers need to have their thinking conformed to the mind of Christ. While what I say will appear obvious, the stigma that too often follows the rape victim shows that the church’s understanding of this matter is in need of reformation. My position comes from my own wrestling with the Scriptures to find healing balm for those who have been sexually violated. There is a great need for it today.

Thesis Stated

If a maiden – that is, a virgin – be raped, believers ought to look upon her and treat her as a virgin. Why? Because, according to Scripture, she is still sexually pure.1 I believe this is what the Scriptures teach. It is then a natural and necessary consequence to apply this same reasoning to other forms of sexual abuse.

Thesis Defended

Scripture teaches, “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins” (Exod. 22:16-17 NKJV).

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Discovering Real Love

Writing to those loved by God the Father, called and kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!…But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life! Jude 1b-2, 20-21, The Message


We are always changed by our experiences of being loved by God. As we Practice His Presence we will be gently challenged as to what we believe about love. Our wounds associated with love will be “being healed” as we practice his presence.

The first front of healing in our journey as Son’s and Daughter’s; is to become empowered to more fully receive love from Father. “Be Loved!”

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Do I need to forgive someone who is not repentant?

Do I need to forgive someone even if it doesn’t seem that he is sorry?

Luke 17:3-4 answers that question this way:

“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

Jesus said that without genuine repentance there is no forgiveness. One example of this principle is when he says:

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation.2 Corinthians 7:10

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Pornography, Christianity and Control

When thinking of pornography and Christianity and the issue of control, things get quite interesting. Matthew 18:3 informs us:

    And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

On the other hand it seems intuitive that the repetitive use of pornography is proof that our “internal adolescent” has wrested away the controls in the command center of our brain and what is needed is a return of control to the superego. We long for simple joys, simple trust, unconditional love but there is no denying that we physically are no longer children and we can get into some very big trouble.

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Carrying the Burdens of Your Past?

We’re commanded in Hebrews 12:1 to “lay aside every weight” so we can “run with patience the race that is set before us.” Consider that first command: lay aside every weight, every burden that slows us down in our race forward. If we’re dwelling on the past, that means we’ve stopped running, picked up some weights we were commanded to drop, and are giving them (not God or His commandments and His service) all our attention. No wonder we stop running and even start walking backward. For good reason do race horses wear blinders that force them to look forward, blocking out distractions so they can focus on the race.

Even worse, Hebrews 12:1 continues on into the second verse, explaining what we should be looking at when we run the race “set before us” (set in front of us): “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher ofour faith.” If we’re looking at the past, we’re violating this second command of God’s: we’re not only picking up weights and burdens we were told to lay aside, to drop to the ground and regard as worthless impediments, but we’re not looking at Jesus but rather at those forbidden weights instead. We should be rejoicing that Christ tells us to drop all these weights. Satan’s worst enemy is a Christian focused on the future and running his race well.

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Men Helping Female Partners Deal with Childhood Sexual Abuse

I clearly remember the day my wife, Liz, told me that she had been sexually abused as a child.

We were watching TV and I could tell she wasn’t really interested in the show.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, unaware that her answer would turn my world upside down.

“My stepfather sexually abused me when I was a child,” Liz said.

There was a long period of silence as I searched for something to say. Here I was, suddenly presented with a startling revelation. I was dumbfounded.

Liz stared at me, waiting for a reaction.

Questions began to flood my thoughts. I really didn’t know what to think.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Why would your stepfather do such a thing?”

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Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships

Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite~sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner.

  • How our earliest relationships affect our mate selection
  • How we learn from that and look for healthier traits in our adult relationships
  • Why we are attracted to certain kinds of people

Lead by Tracy R. Warring Against Relational Sabotage

Host Welcome to the workshop on Father/daughter, Mother/son relationships Workshop Leader will be sharing with you on … Reactive Attachment Disorder and …Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite-sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner. I will open with prayer..

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Abuse: It’s Deceptions, Forms & Healing

As we already know, abuse can come in many forms: physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, financial, spiritual and so on. For the most part, it is you that is the victim or survivor of abuse. But what if the abuser is you? How do you deal with the fact that you are an abuser yourself? Do you blame it on being abused yourself? Is it a result of growing up watching your parents while one abuses the other? How do you change your behaviour? Do you want to change your behaviour? There are many questions regarding when you are the abuser and there are many roads to choose from of which to travel down. Also, what if you are not the abuser, but the person being abused? What are your options? What actions should you take to end the violence?

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Living Water in the Desert of Abuse

Hagar couldn’t bear to watch – or listen.

She tucked her son beneath the scant shade of a spiny bush, staggered about 100 yards away, and tried to plug her ears against his cries for help. But through the flesh and bone of her fingers, she could still hear him.

“Mama! Water! Please, Mama!” he begged, his voice cracking with adolescence and thirst.

Although the heat was oppressive, Hagar shivered with horror. Her baby was dying and she was helpless against the relentless sun and parched winds.

Soon she, too, would die from thirst. More painful than the thought of her own demise was the pleading voice of her son asking for the basic necessity of life that she could not give him — water.

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