Healing

Toxic Thoughts

poison

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.

Do you have any toxic habits?

No, I’m not thinking of Oreos or ice cream—despite my doctor’s warnings, those are clearly proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I’m thinking more about thoughts, beliefs, or habits of thinking that limit our ability to live full, free lives.

There’s a lot in life that we can’t control, but we’re always masters of our own attitudes. We’re always free to choose toxic thoughts that poison our minds with self-defeating attitudes.

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Depression and No Self-worth

I’ve struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I’ve struggled since a young teen with BDD, “body dysmorphic disorder”, a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my ‘coping mechanism” because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I’d been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr’s and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

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Twenty Two Years of Living Hell

I had been saved and baptized at the age of 13. I was pulled away from my relationship I had with Jesus because of lack of knowledge, sin and not keeping up with prayer and reading my Bible. I had been involved with a couple of seances and Ouija boards with some friends even though I hadn’t believed in them or worshiped that kind of thing. I only did it to go along with my friends and actually thought it was all rigged. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening! Shortly after I had been saved I had been visited by satan in my bedroom. I believe that night his demons had attached themselves to me because within a short period of time after that night there was such a sudden change in my behaviour and moods that it was thought that there was something medically wrong.

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Porn Cost Me Everything

The following testimony was presented before a House Subcommittee on Telecommunications, Trade and Consumer Protection in Washington, D.C., Tuesday, May 23, 2000. The hearing focused on obscene material available via the Internet. The overall thrust was to probe why the Justice Department is not enforcing laws already on the books that would effectively hinder the impact of online pornography. The goal of the 5-member panel testimony was to urge the Justice Department to prosecute more obscenity cases.

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I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I’m 36 now…

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I’m 36 now. No one knows about this secret, except for the one person who was hosting the Same Sex Attraction (SSA) Meeting last night.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit came and held me and then whispered in my ears (and fingers) to share…to go ahead and get it off my quiet little mind.

I feel as though I experienced a miracle here at Christians in Recovery so that is why I want to share this with you… I think if I experienced a miracle in my life that I’m to share it with everyone here at cir…. because God has given me Christians in Recovery (CIR) in my life to help me grow and heal. It’s been a journey these past 3-4 years here.

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The Mountains have been Marvelous, But the Valleys were Killers

My name is Sharon. I have been in recovery from childhood trauma for seven years. The mountains have been marvelous, but the valleys were killers. However, with each up and down I grew in faith. On November 14, I was in a low valley. I felt no one understand the pain of my heart. The only person who understood was my counselor, but she was paid to understand. I needed a Christian brother or sister who had walked before me. I decided I would end it all by taking an overdose.

God had another plan. While in the hospital the Lord spoke to me, and pointed out that I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, but never in my 40 some odd years, had I ever really trusted God with my days, not even one moment. Well, I left the hospital determined to find the heart of God.

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I Survived Sexual Abuse at the Hands of My Father

Hi. My name is Laura.

I have gone through an immense amount of healing, and would like to share it.

From the time I was 4 to the time I was 12, I was sexually abused by my father. His abuse was violent and varied, ranging from rape to bleach poisoning to gagging, choking, and tying me to the bed while abusing me.

When I went into counseling at age 14 for emotionally induced seizures, I could no longer stand it and had to tell someone. At that point, I was on the verge of a multiple personality disorder. I thought I belonged to the darkness and always would.

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Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn’t, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

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Take Your Time and Easy Does It

All to often, people fail in their recovery attempts only because they were in a hurry. Even in recovery…things take time.

For alcoholics and addicts, it is especially true that difficulties play an enormous part in our lives. They call forth our power, our strength, and our energies as nothing can. But when clean and sober, sometimes they strengthen character.

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