Forgiveness

The Mountains have been Marvelous, But the Valleys were Killers

My name is Sharon. I have been in recovery from childhood trauma for seven years. The mountains have been marvelous, but the valleys were killers. However, with each up and down I grew in faith. On November 14, I was in a low valley. I felt no one understand the pain of my heart. The only person who understood was my counselor, but she was paid to understand. I needed a Christian brother or sister who had walked before me. I decided I would end it all by taking an overdose.

God had another plan. While in the hospital the Lord spoke to me, and pointed out that I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, but never in my 40 some odd years, had I ever really trusted God with my days, not even one moment. Well, I left the hospital determined to find the heart of God.

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I Searched to Find a Touch from God

When I was lost and so alone,
my heart felt such despair.
I searched to find a touch from God,
Or just a friend to care.

Yet fear had built a wall of stone
Around my trembling soul,
And kept me from the path of hope
where God could make me whole.

I searched at church to try to find
Acceptance, love and hope,
But there I found folks just like me,
Deep pain with masks to cope.

One day I found in cyberspace
A haven safe and kind,
Where I could be just who I am
And share what’s on my mind.

I grew by steps and then by bounds,
God’s love became so real.
Becoming free by sharing pain,
My heart began to heal.

So thank you friends at CIR
For daring to reach out.
For caring and for sharing what
The Gospel’s all about.

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I was Drowning

To tell what CIR has meant to me is to tell a story of survival – a life saved – spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I do not consider it a mere coincidence or stroke of luck as to how I came to find Christians in Recovery. I have no doubts whatsoever that God led me directly to this wonderful place. I was literally losing my life, drowning in a sea of addictions, SSA, depression, and drugs… all the effects of past sexual abuse.

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I was Close to Hell, Then Jesus Set Me Free

When Jesus saved me I was close to hell
The devil had me in a deep dark well
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn’t matter, He set me free

Now the road I’m walkin’ ain’t all up hill
As I try to follow my saviors will
yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn’t matter, He set me free

He guides my footsteps He leads the way
and I will follow come what may
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn’t matter, He set me free

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Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn’t, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

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God’s Love

Part 1 Breaking Habits | Part 2 Tapping into the Unknown | Part 3 Breaking Habits and Sin | Part 4 God’s Love | Part 5 Scary Secrets | Part 6 Are You Ready?

Knowing God’s Love Need Not Be Difficult
I can easily believe that the atom-holding, earth-spinning, galaxy-sustaining, life-giving Source of everything wonderful can do whatever He likes. Even the devil believes God’s power. My difficulty is believing that God’s special love for me makes Him long to use that power on my behalf. Who am I that I should deserve this kind of treatment, especially after doing the “raunchy” things that I do.

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Forgiveness of Yourself

You are not a failure. You are a Christian in recovery who failed. Satan wants you to forget what you have accomplished so far and to focus on a few moments of inappropriate behavior. Jesus wants you to focus on Him!

“I am in a Bible study and I feel I should give up this privelege.”

No way! That is Satan talking to you again. Stay in the Word.
Pray and commune with God. Ask for forgiveness and then accept His grace and mercy.

  • Ask the LORD to forgive and cleanse you of your error.
    Isaiah 1:18
    Come now, let us reason together,"
    says the LORD.
    "Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
    though they are red as crimson,
    they shall be like wool.

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Revenge is for God, Not Us

Proverbs 20:22 NRSV
Do not say, “I will repay evil”;
wait for the Lord, and He will help you.

Have you ever been misunderstood? Of course. We all have. We have done something or said something and our intentions just didn’t communicate well. Beyond that, have you ever made a mistake, one that ended up costing or hurting someone else? Again, of course! We all have made those mistakes, the actions or choices we regret and wish that we could have changed.

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