Forgiveness of God

Are You A Slave To Sexual Sins?

Are you having less sex with your spouse or stopped having sex with your spouse because you are looking at pornography? Are unhealthy emotions overtaking your thoughts and controlling the outcome of your actions? Have you tried to quit looking at porn but can’t?

If you answered yes to any one of these then you are addicted. Anytime we are addicted to something it means we are under its control and have become a slave to it. Does being addicted to porn mean you are a bad person? Not necessarily.

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How to Get Out of the Pit

Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and of great kindness. Joel 2:13

Let me start this week’s devotional with the words to a chorus God gave me when I was in the pit of self-loathing and condemnation:

I remember, Lord, the joy of serving You;
I remember, Lord, when all I knew was You;
Flowing through me, calling to me,
Lord, please use me once again!

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Depression and No Self-worth

I’ve struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I’ve struggled since a young teen with BDD, “body dysmorphic disorder”, a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my ‘coping mechanism” because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I’d been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr’s and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

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There was no Hope for Me

No-one wanted to deal with me. I was a lost cause to all, that is except for God.

I have been told by many to remain silent. That God would not use a person such as what I was. That miracles do not happen now-a-days, and on and on. It’s not understood, so I guess it isn’t to be mentioned. That sentiment has came from numerous local believers & church leaders as well as from the majority, seemingly, from the twelve step community here.

But I am not to remain silent. I must serve God rather than man regardless of what others think or believe. I feel inadequate enough, and there is no time for hate and debate. Bill W. had one.

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Drinking Controlled Me

I have come to the point in my life where I realize that I am an alcoholic. I fought that at first.

I prayed heaps – asked God for signs and miracles – he gave me heaps.

I wanted to control my drinking – it controlled me.

I went to a “secular” counselor. I hated him. He challenged me about my faith. I hated that even more.

In the end, desperate, I gave my problem to God. I clung on to the text from
“those who wait upon the Lord shall walk and not faint . . .” – that’s all I wanted but our gracious God is enabling me to rise up with eagle’s wings. I have days of rebellion and struggle but God is faithful.

Praise his name.

~ Sue

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Alcohol, Crack, Heroin, Sexual Abuse – But God kept His Word

Hi my name is Steve I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

I was baptized as infant and attended a catholic school and there was rules and things were disciplined. That is where I started to rebel and was asked to leave or to straighten up. I continued my education in public school.

I was sexually abused by an employer of a fast food place where I worked sweeping the parking lot. When I was around 14 years old he would buy me things gave me beer and cigarettes and I was to ashamed to tell anyone.

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I Had to Choose Between Death and Life

“I’m not an Alcoholic, you are! Don’t try to push your problem on me…” Sound familiar? This is what “they” call denial and I had it BAD. It wasn’t until the good LORD broke me, that I faced up to the truth. I have a problem. Alcohol is NOT my friend.

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior but my walk really began six months before that when I had only two choices… death or life. Since I chose life, I had to make major changes. STOP Drinking had top billing. It’s amazing how the other changes began falling into place after that… only something was missing. I began going to church, but I was missing something… was it my attitude? I thought, if I can find young people like me, I’ll be okay. HA HA

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