Boundaries

Christ-Centered Intervention

By Glen Kerby

Steps to an intervention from a Christian perspective:
1) We get everyone that is involved in this person’s life to agree to meet for prayer in this matter. We need to remember that if it is that person’s time then God is working in his or her life as we prepare to meet them.

2) We get the family to agree to the two choices and the only two choices that this person has to pick from.

3) We do an intervention plan, we pick a safe place for everyone to gather.

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Bickering Over Money

Do you and your spouse bicker over money issues? When the utilities, credit card bills, and mortgage are due, do you find you are more stressed out when it comes time to pay them? When husband and wife both work, and make their own money, sometimes who is going to pay “what” bill, and “how much” can become a confusing and frustrating situation.

Some couples make it easier on themselves by pooling all their monies earned into one bank account, and then paying all the expenses from that. This is the most organized and efficient way to manage the home finances. Also, only having one spouse do the budget and pay the bills, rather than both of you overseeing the checkbook and then bickering over it is best.

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How to Detach From Emotional Abuse

Be consistent in your efforts. Your abuser needs to see that YOU are not going to be bullied around any longer. When detaching with love/respect there are 5 things to remember:

    1. Be consistent – don’t one day detach and the next day break down in tears

    2. Remain Calm (don’t fight back)

    3. Let the abuser know you are ready to talk when they are ready to talk

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Pornography Addiction: Playing With Fire

Pornography addiction is playing with fire. If your marriage means anything to you at all then you are playing with fire every time you think about or view porn. Even if you are single it will transform your personality into something that was not meant for you to be. It is not beneficial for the mental and emotional aspect of who you are to look lustfully at another woman or man, other than the person God has blessed you with.

Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. NIV Proverbs 6:25-26

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Am I Married to a Bull?

What do you get when you pair two bulls together in one corral? An awful lot of head butting! A Marriage in this predicament will most likely head straight into the mud.

All this means is couples need to pick themselves up out of the mud, stop butting heads with each other and start putting forth more effort in the reconnection department. Isn’t your relationship worth it?

Remember your spoken thoughts at the altar as you looked into your spouse’s eyes, and swore to commit to each other through thick and thin?

If you feel unmarried or not in a relationship anymore it is time to bring out that pre-marriage energy and get reconnected and bond totally with your spouse.

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Marriage: Whose Responsibility Is It?

Marriage is a big responsibility and a challenging endeavor. Once you get married, it’s not just about you anymore; it is about both of you; it is about taking care of one another’s needs the best you can; it is the willingness to take the time to have a healthy marriage. It is the perseverance to hang in there no matter what. The responsibilities of marriage and family are huge.

I talk an awful lot about responsibilities, roles and duties in marriage because it is very important that couples realize what their responsibilities are, and then fulfill them in a proper Christian manner. This is where cooperation and consideration come into play for balancing out the efforts of both the husband and wife and helping marriage to run efficiently and balanced.

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Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

I know of two couples personally who got married at a young age and then went through tremendous trials and troubles in their marriage, and for one reason or another they ended up divorcing. After a time, and finding their way in life, after even more trials, they ended up remarrying each other again.

Remarriage to the man or woman you first married is more prevalent than you would think. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to have the knowledge beforehand of knowing you will remarry your spouse, so you could skip the divorce part of it, work on the marriage and stay married?

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