Bickering Over Money

Do you and your spouse bicker over money issues? When the utilities, credit card bills, and mortgage are due, do you find you are more stressed out when it comes time to pay them? When husband and wife both work, and make their own money, sometimes who is going to pay “what” bill, and “how much” can become a confusing and frustrating situation.

Some couples make it easier on themselves by pooling all their monies earned into one bank account, and then paying all the expenses from that. This is the most organized and efficient way to manage the home finances. Also, only having one spouse do the budget and pay the bills, rather than both of you overseeing the checkbook and then bickering over it is best.

Bickering over who pays “what” bills, and who will pay “what” amount can be a constant monthly war with couples. The problem with this is one of you will more than likely feel left out in the cold, and it is the one who doesn’t earn as much money. But when a man and woman become united in marriage it should be “what is his is hers and what is hers is his”. When you come to understand how that works, you will come to understand that it doesn’t really matter who pays more, or less because it ALL belongs to the both of you anyway, right? Actually, in our home we like to say, it ALL belongs to God, and we are only God’s stewards or caretakers. This way, we stop ourselves from being selfish and greedy. Nothing belongs to us to begin with!

And then there is the spouse who likes to buy stuff. This is not, by any means, just a ladies problem, men overspend and buy stuff they don’t need all the time. Of course, overspending will never become a problem unless the “money saving” spouse begins to complain that their spouse spends too much money on stuff they don’t need, or is spending money they really do not have in the first place.

Then Jesus said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions. (Luke 12:15 NIV)

And then, there is “being in debt” that can cause frustration, and stress between couples because it is such a vicious cycle. Why do we buy so much stuff that we don’t need? We use credit because we want stuff, and usually do not have the cash on hand for the big purchases we like to buy, like cars, electronics, furniture, etc.

Using credit / debit is convenient and safe, unlike cash, which is not safe. Most people do not carry around big wads of cash in their wallet; for men it is uncomfortable sitting on a big fat wallet. Ladies shop so much in one day, they would really need to have a lot of cash to buy everything they want, so they opt for the credit card instead. But doesn’t buying on credit make us overspend and buy things we really don’t need?

And then the question needs to be asked, do we actually have the money for what we are buying, or are we overextending ourselves just because we want to have more stuff. Shopping for stuff is a blast, but when the bills come piling in, it can cause more conflict than it’s worth.

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)