Choices

Bickering with Kevin: Discussions with an Accountability Partner

Over the years, I have shared how my friend Kevin and I bicker all the time. We bickered in the early years, when we first met and became accountability partners. We bickered during the ministry years, when we ran a Living Waters Program at our church. And we bicker in 2011, four years into Kevin’s decision to return to the gay lifestyle.

Although Kevin and I see each other a lot less socially nowadays, we sit within 4 feet of each other 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at our place of employment. We have been coworkers since 1999. This environment is very conducive getting on each other’s nerves and releasing all that pent-up irritation through bickering when we hang out.

These are some of our more-vivid bickering sessions:

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How Can I Deal with My Alcoholic Spouse?

Ask Angie: I have been married to an alcoholic for 16 years. I have detached in love and have been very active in my church and creating a life for me and my children outside of the alcoholism. The alcoholic in my life doesn’t seem to mind any of this and it actually seems to relieve him from the responsibility to be a dad and husband. He does work hard on his job and so he feels that’s all of his responsibility and likes when he’s home to drink all day and play video games and ignore us. I hate being with him. It’s a very lonely marriage. My two older children are becoming more upset by his lack of desire to be with them.

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How do I know God’s will in my situation?

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good
and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2 NKJV

Over the years one of the questions I get asked most often is, “How do I know God’s will in my situation?” At the risk of sounding trite, discovering God’s will in any situation or circumstance really isn’t that difficult. God doesn’t play guessing games with us, and He doesn’t delight in making us take wild guesses only to discover we did the wrong thing. God’s will for us is outlined perfectly in the Scriptures, but that’s where we run up against problems.

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Scriptures for Resisting Behaviors

Could you use some help in warding off a binge, resisting restricting your food intake or stopping yourself from over-exercising? Does resisting eating disorder behaviors seem impossible sometimes? The good news is that divine help is available. God wants you to be free of your eating disorder, so you can go to His Word for help in resisting behaviors.

If you are hesitant to ask God for help because of the guilt and shame you feel over the behaviors you practice, please don’t let that stop you. Your not asking for His help is not going to stop Him from knowing about your behaviors. And remember that He is on your side. He wants you to be closer to Him, and He also wants to help set you free of your eating disorder.

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The End of Toxic Pride

I’ve fed on pods, I must confess,
Out in the field, when hunger pressed,
What’s meant for swine I’ve feasted on,
Midst dung I dined, my gusto gone.

I took my fill of stagnant swill,
Ingested things that might have killed,
I found myself in distant land
Fresh out of luck, life out of hand.

There should have been an ending there
In blending with the empty stares
But something woke and pushed aside
The prison of my toxic pride.

When given strength to journey back
I found the fruit I sorely lacked,
The wine that’s poured from royal blood,
A Father’s feast, prepared in love.

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Jesus Says “Sorry” Is A Verb

“I’m sorry.” Why are those two little words so difficult to say?

I made a mistake. I need to apologize. It’s not that hard.

So why is it so hard?

Maybe there’s a better question. Why is it so hard to say I’m sorry and really mean it? Or even better, what does it mean to really mean it?

That’s the real question: what does “being sorry” really mean?

Apologize … and MEAN it

I know this will shock you, but I occasionally broke the rules as a kid. I recall my mom telling me to apologize to someone. I’d comply grudgingly, and she’d say, “Now go back and say it like you MEAN it.”

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Passing Judgment on Others

Do not judge according to appearance,
but judge with righteous judgment. John 7:24

Have you noticed that one of the most popular and oft-quoted verses from the Bible is some sort of mutilation of the admonition not to judge? This is particularly popular with those who are not familiar with the Scriptures and/or want to justify their own behavior. But does the Bible really teach us not to judge, or does it simply give us guidelines in how to judge correctly?

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