Info & Help

The Addict’s Need to Reconnect with Him or Her Self

We have discussed the addict’s need to reconnect with God. Now, we turn to another important issue, the addict’s need to reconnect with himself. By this I mean gaining a new level of self-awareness that leads to positive change. This means knowing how he feels and why. And, importantly, it means recognizing his own needs. There are four essential areas of self-awareness that all who wish to succeed in living sober and healthy lives must have:

1. I am powerless over alcohol and/or drugs

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Women & Substance Abuse

  • Although women drink less than men, the number of women who do drink is significant. Estimates indicate that of the 15.1 million people who abuse alcohol or are alcohol-dependent, 4.6 million are women. That means that roughly one-third of alcoholics are women.
  • The number of women who report using illicit drugs is alarming, although women are less likely to use illicit drugs than men. Five percent of women and 8 percent of men report having used illicit drugs during the last 30 days.

  • In 1989, 43 percent of drug abuse patients admitted to emergency rooms were female and 56 percent were male.
  • Cigarette use among women has decreased at the rate of about 1 percent each year since 1985. Use during the last 30 days by women was at 24.2 percent in 1990, down from a 1985 figure of 28.1 percent.
  • Women who drink heavily or are alcoholic are more likely to become victims of the alcohol-related aggression of others, such as date rape.
  • Drinking varies among women of different racial or ethnic backgrounds. African American women were more likely to abstain from drinking alcohol (66.9 percent) than White women (52.6 percent) during the month prior to their interview.

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Work Therapy in Recovery Programs

Rescue missions, Salvation Army centers and other types of recovery programs depend on labor provided by people in their facilities to do a variety of tasks that are essential to their operations. Men and women in recovery programs can be found in kitchens, performing housekeeping and maintenance tasks, providing office support, and driving trucks to pick up donations. Certainly, we value the services they provide. Equally important, though, is the need to give additional meaning to their efforts by creatively using their work assignments to invest in their lives. What follows is a list of some ways this can be accomplished:

A. Develop a purpose statement for work projects — We need to have a definite philosophical basis for every activity in which we involve program participants that is both spiritually sound and “therapeutic.” In other words, we need an official statement that establishes the fact that we are not just looking for free labor, but rather that the work they do really is intended to help them. If people in our programs feel used, they are certain to shut themselves down to the recovery process. The mission is there for the clients, they are not there for the mission!

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Am I Codependent or being a Good Christian?

On the surface, codependency messages sound like Christian teaching:

    “Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves.”
    (Aren’t Christians to put others first?) .

    “Codependents give themselves away.”
    (Shouldn’t Christians do the same?).

    “Codependents martyr themselves.”
    (Doesn’t Christianity honor its martyrs?)

Those statements have a familiar ring, don’t they? Then how can we distinguish between codependency, which is unhealthy to codependents and their dependents, and mature faith, which is healthy.

Codependency says:.

    I have little or no value.
    Other persons and situations have all the value.

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Aftercare for Recovery Programs

For Christian programs that work to help addicts, the primary goal is to help them to become integrated into two vital communities — the Church and the recovery community. If our goal is truly to work ourselves out of a job, then we must make sure we are spending enough time and energy preparing our clients for life after our programs. If we don’t, we have done them a great disservice. No matter how success we are with newly sober clients, they will still leave or programs as struggling baby Christians. We must be sure that these new believers knows where to find help when they experiences struggles, even 2, 5, 10 years and more in the future, no matter where they live.

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Masturbation – Right or Wrong?

Women as well as men can be in bondage to masturbation. The Word of God does not offer any direct guidance on the subject of masturbation. Perhaps the subject is omitted because it is a moral issue that needs to be left up to the individual to determine right from wrong.

From a biological viewpoint, masturbation may be normal a function of sexuality. From a spiritual viewpoint, the real area of concern should be what goes on in a person’s mind. Are inappropriate sexual images running rampant in your mind? In order to successfully act out, it is necessary to get vivid and exciting thoughts or images into your mind? (This can be done by pure imagination or by pictures or movies or stories or real persons.) These images always involve people as sexual objects which is against God’s direction for us to honor and respect one another.

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Anger: A Different Response

Proverbs 17:14 NRSV
The beginning of strife is like letting out water;
so stop before the quarrel breaks out.

Ever punch a hole in a container full of water? This proverb is absolutely true. You can put all manner of things against the hole, but it’s almost impossible to stop the water from seeping (or pouring) out!

There are many things in our lives that, once begun, are difficult to stop. Anger and fighting is one of them. I grew up in the generation that said that when you’re angry, you need to “talk it out” in order to dissipate the emotions. Newer studies are showing that talking, when you’re angry, can lead to escalation, rather than de-escalation.

“I thought it was healthy to express my anger.” For the last 50 years the world has been saying:
“Express yourself.”
“Let ‘it out.”
“It’s good for you to express your feelings.”
“It’s bad for you to repress your feelings.”

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Is it OK to Make Up a God of Your Own in Recovery?

Earliest A.A. Leaders Specifically Described Their Trust in God

Making Up Some “god of your own?”

Some today have made up their own gods and not-gods. They’ve called them chairs, somethings, somebodies, door knobs, light bulbs, the Great Pumpkin, the Big Dipper, and whatever they are told they can do praying to a tree or a table. In later A.A., treatment people, therapists, some AAs, and even clergy began thinking they were some new self-made, extra-terrestrial “higher power.”

Not so with four important Early AAs.

A.A. Pioneers Heard: “God either is, or He isn’t;” and they chose God!

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Is Your Protection Truly the Lord?

    Psalm 89:17-18 NLT
    You are their glorious strength. Our power is based on Your favor. Yes, our protection comes from the Lord, and He, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.


How much should we defend ourselves?
Perhaps the question should actually be, how much do we allow the Lord to defend us? Is our protection truly the Lord? Do we allow Him to work in situations and to take care of us? Do I?

I often wish that life would just stop for awhile and let me rest, that I could go through a few days without some kind of crisis. I would love to be able to get up, live the day, come home, go to bed, and simply breathe, rather than having to deal with the problems that come from living in a sinful world. I sure that many other believers have the same desire.

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