Marriage

When is it Right to Trust Other People? (Part 2)

See Part One

One of the hardest issues for many people, especially in today’s society, is to know when to trust other people. What I am about to write comes from the books, Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, and Safe People by the same authors. It is what I have learned along my healing journey, and I can assure you that I am by no means anywhere near the end of it. I believe healing is a lifelong journey. I highly recommend reading ALL of their books. Believe me when I say they have an endless supply of good Christian books that will help you grow and mature both spiritually and emotionally.

Many people teach that we are to trust nobody. After all, look what it gets us a lot of the time. Girls, boys and women raped because they trusted somebody enough to simply speak to them. Now, not every encounter is a bad one, but we cannot guarantee that any meeting will be a safe one. Who is willing to risk their life on a chance meeting?

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A Believer Who Struggles with Depression, Anxiety, Alcoholism, Sexual Addiction and Codependency

Hi, I’m Sharon, a believer who struggles with depression, anxiety, alcoholism, sexual addiction, and codependency. It’s taken half a century, and five marriages and divorces, and a near-fatal car accident but here I am. I’m glad to be here to share my story with you . As Romans 8:38 & 39 proclaims:

…I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I believe this whole-heartedly because I’ve been in some situations I should NOT have survived. I spent years of my life trying to separate myself from God. But God, through Jesus, has walked with me every step.

I grew up in a small country town in New Mexico. We weren’t well off, but we weren’t dirt poor. My father worked hard as a welder to support the family and my mom stayed home with the kids. There were four of us. My older brother and sister were from my mom’s first husband and they were 9 and 11 years older than me. Because they were so much older, I really had no relationship with them. My sister married when I was in 2nd grade. My older brother was out of the house shortly after that and I don’t really have many memories of him growing up. My younger brother and I were from Mom’s second marriage to my dad.

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Do You Practice Humility?

Humility is not something regularly taught these days. Preachers focus on salvation, on relationships, and some focus on integrity (though not many). But it’s been a long time since I heard someone teach on humility. Peter has an interesting take on humility. He states that it is the foundation of all relationships: “You must cloth yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another.” For me, there are three aspects to humility when I deal with those around me.

1 Peter 5:5-9 NRSV

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The Husband’s Duty

Husbands, love your wives — even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it. Ephesians 5:25


This language is especially addressed to Christians; the Holy Spirit speaks on the wife’s behalf. The husband and his wife are one. The union is most intimate and important, and it is for life. It should therefore be formed with much prayer, prudence, and reflection. And being formed, each party should strive to make it a means of blessing to the other, by closely attending to the precepts of Holy Scripture. No godly man should, under any pretense, marry an unsaved woman; for it is impossible to obey the precepts of the gospel, under such circumstances.

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10 Ways to Be More Productive During an Argument or When Trying to Express Yourself

1) Listen to what your spouse has to say, even if you disagree! Hold back from interrupting because quite frankly, it is very rude to interrupt people when they are trying to express themselves, even if they are expressing themselves in a negative way.

2) If there is anything ambiguous that your spouse said to you then have them clear it up so you do understand. What’s the use in listening if you aren’t really hearing?

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What Can You Do To Help Your Angry Spouse?

Anger never resolves issues. If you live with an angry spouse you should learn to detach so the anger won’t gobble you up with it. Anytime you retaliate with angry and abusive words back to an angry person you’re fueling the fire. Simply walk away. You want to put the fire out, not rekindle it. Anyone who lives with an angry person needs to learn how to emotionally detach from the anger. Don’t let the abuse control how you feel or control what you do, or control your behaviors.

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Does Your Husband Lack Affection?

Ask Angie: My husband was raised without anyone showing affection and love. I on the other hand, need it. How do I teach him?

Marriage Guidance: I hope that you did not marry your husband in the hopes that you could change him. We can’t change others to meet our needs — it will not work, especially if that is the way they were raised. This is not to say that people cannot change for the better but this kind of change happens through Christ. When one spouse demands and controls a behavior of the other all it creates is resentment and animosity between them.

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How To Bring Intimacy Back Into Your Marriage

Everyday my husband and I will take a long walk together, alone, away from the children, and with no distractions of any kind whatsoever. I call these walks together “special time”. We do this because we don’t want to lose touch with each other; we want to remain close. I believe all couples should dedicate themselves to having special time with their spouse one hour each day.

You don’t have to take walks to enjoy special time. You might want to meet somewhere, for instance. That meeting might be in a café or on a park bench. It doesn’t matter where you are when you have special time, what does matter is that you make special time an intimate moment for the both of you. It is so easy to lose touch with the person we married. Don’t let that happen to you and your spouse.

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Do You Reject Your Spouses Feelings?

Couples who reject each other’s feelings are probably not very good communicators. Part of the communication process is to accept what our spouse has to say, whether we agree with them or not. It is perfectly okay to disagree with your spouse but to do it in a way that doesn’t put them down in the process. Understand that acceptance is not the same thing as agreeing. For instance, you can accept another person’s faith but that does not mean you have to agree with it.

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