Self-Image

You Belong!

The longing to belong is very powerful and foundational to our sense of self. But there is an infinitely greater pull — Father’s. He is constantly seeking us out and calling our heart to his!

“My son, give me your heart.” Proverbs 23:26

When we respond to this call it becomes a homecoming. The prodigal came to himself while slopping hogs and experienced a homecoming that he never imagined possible. How about you? Do you know beyond a shadow of doubt that you belong? Don’t allow anyone to tell you something else.

Make sure no outsider who now follows God ever has occasion to say, “God put me in second-class. I don’t really belong.” Isaiah 56:2 Msg

There are religious outsiders who will judge you. Their only agenda is dissuading your journey to Father’s heart. As a matter of fact they don’t even understand the conversation of the heart. Belonging empowers you to embrace and live in Grace. Belonging is the path to love. And belonging is bigger and louder than the voices of rejection.

To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. (Brennan Manning)

Even the darker parts of our journey become a homecoming. In the state of belonging we can truly rest. Read the following scriptures and settle in to belonging.

You Belong! Read More »

Are Negative Emotions Controlling You?

Emotions play a big role in our life. They are active and alive twenty-four hours a day, even in our dreams. Emotions literally tell us what to do with our marriage, family, job, career, self, and how we love others. If we don’t control the course that our emotions run, we might be heading down the road towards destruction.

Are you allowing emotions to control your life?

When was the last time you got angry? What do you do when your friend turns their back on you? What do you do when your spouse disrespects you? What do you do when your children continue to misbehave?

What happens if your emotions tell you that you don’t love your spouse anymore? What are you going to do? Do you let jealousy and resentment tell you what to do in certain circumstances?

Before we can understand the full potential of our self and our emotions we need to understand a little bit about who we are, and why we do and say the things we do. How do we handle our selves with certain issues and particular circumstances?

What do we do when conflict rears its ugly head in our marriage? We get emotional, right? We lash out with anger, or we clam up in resentment, or express our self improperly. Are we letting our emotions rule our marriage, our self, and our life?

Are Negative Emotions Controlling You? Read More »

“Fat” or “Beautiful” ?

I recently caught a documentary on sex symbol Bettie Page. In it, the withdrawn, elderly phenomenon recounted her entire life, including her racy photographs and films which catered to bondage, nudity and fetish culture.

According to Ms. Page’s commentary, she initially tried the conventional methods first. However, the well- known Ford modeling agency rejected her. Founder Eileen Ford, herself, flat out told Bette she was too short and “too hippy.”

So, Bettie turned to the more controversial avenue, which subsequently launched her into being the pop culture icon she is today.

And, due to her influence, there are numerous photos flooding the internet, with captions including, “Today, we’d call her fat.”

It’s makes for a strong body image message. Indeed, looking at her image, what is our response? Do we think she’s fat?

Likewise, there’s the legendary sex symbol, Marilyn Monroe. She was reportedly a size 12 or 14. Some even speculate she was a size 16!

Again, when we see her, when we are faced with her numbers, what’s our first reaction?

She’s beautiful?

“Fat” or “Beautiful” ? Read More »

Do You Truly Love Yourself?

There has been much discussion in the past decades about people needing to love themselves. It is an unnecessary discussion. We do love ourselves. It is part of the flesh nature. We may not love the situation we’re in, but the fact is that we wouldn’t even have the conversation if we didn’t, by our very nature, love ourselves.


To get wisdom is to love oneself;
to keep understanding is to prosper. Proverbs 19:8 NRSV

Satan, who is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44), tries to convince us that we need to spend more time focusing on loving ourselves. We need to focus on ourselves, to spend our time and resources getting for ourselves. We need to defend ourselves and get all that we deserve… for ourselves.

Rubbish!

Proverbs tells us that, if we truly love ourselves, we will first look to getting wisdom. That having wisdom is how we will prosper. And what is wisdom? Wisdom is God Himself.

In other words, if we truly love ourselves, we will do exactly the opposite of what feels comfortable. We will sacrifice, turn our backs on our own needs, and throw ourselves on the love and protection of our Heavenly Father Who is infinitely better suited to take care of us than we ourselves.

Do You Truly Love Yourself? Read More »

Self-Image: Belief and the Media

It’s difficult to live in this culture and not hit negative body image. It’s particularly potent for those of us struggling with disordered eating and image issues. Check out the statistics:

  • Numerous correlational and experimental studies have linked exposure to the thin ideal in mass media to body dissatisfaction, internalization of the thin ideal, and disordered eating among women.
  • The effect of media on women’s body dissatisfaction, thin ideal internalization, and disordered eating appears to be stronger among young adults than children and adolescents. This may suggest that long-term exposure during childhood and adolescence lays the foundation for the negative effects of media during early adulthood.
  • Pressure from mass media to be muscular also appears to be related to body dissatisfaction among men. This effect may be smaller than among women but it is still significant.
  • Young men seem to be more negatively affected by the media images than adolescent boys are.

    • (Media, Body Image, and Eating Disorders:
    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/media-body-image-and-eating-disorders)

    We cannot underestimate the influence of media. George Orwell warned us of that sentiment years earlier:
    “The people believe what the media tells them they believe.”

    Self-Image: Belief and the Media Read More »

    When the Past Haunts Us

    I often find myself going over and over the past,like when I am trying to go to sleep at night and can’t because of these thoughts. All the fear and panic of the past creeps into my present. It is as if I re-live it all in real time. It can be extremely painful both spiritually and emotionally.

    I have come to learn a few things.

    1. I can always learn from my past and I think we are supposed to learn from our past mistakes and missteps.

    2. Satan can use the past to keep me in bondage. And that is certainly not the will of God. The last thing I want is to be doing what Satan wants. So, when these thoughts come back to me I pray. I ask God for healing in this area of my life.

    When the past comes back to haunt me it can be something from years ago or from just yesterday. Usually the result is confusion in my entire being. But scripture teaches:

    For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33

    So I have to wonder if it is not Satan who drags some of this stuff up to confuse me, to make all of these emotions boil over and create a mess. Now, I am not saying I have to ignore these feelings and emotions. They should and must be dealt with in a godly and biblical fashion. But I cannot allow them to create confusion and a mess in my life. I have to be aware of these emotions and deal with them, not allow the pot to boil over.

    When the Past Haunts Us Read More »

    Is it Possible to Actually Seek Rejection?

    “Actors search for rejection. If they don’t get it, they reject themselves.”
    ~Charlie Chaplin


    As someone with a theater background, I’ve often encountered rejection.

    I’ve endured many auditions and have heard my fair share of no. I didn’t look the part, sound the part, I couldn’t get a handle on a certain accent or I simply was not “good enough.”

    Ah, yes, “good enough.” For many of us perfectionists and/or recovering addicts, this little phrase cuts right to the core.

    In one way or another, we are recovering from something in life. And yes, it’s often fueled by rejection.

    Is it Possible to Actually Seek Rejection? Read More »

    Never Again Will I…..

    Never again will I confess, “I can’t”
    For I can do all things through Christ which Strengtheneth me Philippians 4:13

    Never again will I confess lack, for
    My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory
    by Christ Jesus.     Philippians 4:19

    Never again will I confess fear, for
    God has not given us the spirit of fear,
    but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.     2 Timothy 1:7

    Never again will I confess doubt and lack of faith, for
    God hath given to every man the measure of faith. Romans 12:3

    Never again shall I confess weakness, for

    Never Again Will I….. Read More »

    The Most and The Greatest

    The most useless thing to do ………..Worry
    The greatest Joy………………………….Giving
    The greatest loss……………..Loss of self-respect
    The most satisfying work…………….Helping others

    The ugliest personality trait………………….Selfishness
    The most endangered species……………….Dedicated leaders
    The greatest “shot in the arm”………………Encouragement
    The greatest problem to overcome………….Fear

    Most effective sleeping pill…………..Peace of mind
    The most crippling failure disease………Excuses
    The most powerful force in life………….. ……..Love
    The most dangerous pariah……………………………A gossiper

    The Most and The Greatest Read More »

    Defeating Lies with the Truth

    Lie #1: “I can’t trust God.”
    The TRUTH: God is faithful.
    1 Corinthians 1:9 (NKJV) God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

    Lie #2: “God is against me.”
    The TRUTH: God is for you.
    Romans 8:31 (NKJV) What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

    Lie #3: “I’m not good enough to be blessed.”
    The TRUTH: Christ is your righteousness, and you have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Him.
    Philippians 3:9 (NKJV) Not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;

    Defeating Lies with the Truth Read More »

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