Anger

Who Needs Recovery?

Recovery involves the entire person: spiritual, physical, emotional and mental. You can recover from abuse, addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, shame, guilt, anger, alcoholism, codependency, suffering, grief, depression and more!

You probably need to consider seeking help if:

  • The last thing in the world you want to do is talk about your possible areas of “stuckness”.
  • Your life is getting to be a repeat of one disaster after another.
  • You are finding you feel less and less in control over problems you once thought were under control.
  • You have noticed an increase in the frequency of the behaviors that you believe are a problem (lying, stealing, drinking, eating, gambling, etc.)
  • You have family members that have begun to show concern about problem areas in your life.

    • Who Needs Recovery? Read More »

    Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 2

    by Dale & Juanita Ryan | see: Part 1

    We resist getting help

    In spite of the abundance of God’s love and grace and the many ways in which love and grace are available to us, we do not easily reach out for the help we need. Even when we have acknowledged our need for help, we may find ourselves hesitating, finding excuses, resisting. Resistance to getting help is often the result of a mixture of fear and despair and shame.

    Fear

    It can be frightening to get help. In the process we feel vulnerable and exposed. Jim’s Dad had made cutting remarks about him all his life. Jim was so accustomed to hearing that he was lazy and stupid and irresponsible that every time he shared in his support group, he expected to hear these same hurtful comments in response. Even though people didn’t respond this way, Jim imagined that everyone must be privately thinking these things about him. As a result, he would sometimes begin to share only to freeze with fear and find himself unable to talk.

    Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 2 Read More »

    Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 1

    by Dale & Juanita Ryan
    See: Part 2 | Part 3

    The God of the Bible is a God who saves and heals. The Bible is clear about this: He will deliver the needy who cry out, he will rescue them from oppression and violence. Psalm 72: 12,14) When we see our need, acknowledge our inability to save ourselves, and cry out, God delivers us. God rescues us from oppression and violence. Whether it is the oppression and violence of our compulsions and addictions or the oppression and violence of abuse and neglect, God delivers us and heals us. God is powerful enough and loving enough to deliver us from all of the oppression and violence we face.

    This is the good news proclaimed in Scripture. And it is the basis for our hope on the recovery journey. We cannot save ourselves. Or heal ourselves. But God can. And God will.

    Sound simple? It turns out to be anything but simple. There are several reasons for this. First, we find it hard to believe that God is

    Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 1 Read More »

    Authority: Abuse or Love?

    The king answered the people harshly. Rejecting the advice given him by the elders, he followed the advice of the young men. 1 Kings 12:13-14


    “What shall I do, Ms. Yvonne?” Melissa asked as we sat in my office.

    Her husband had slapped their son repeatedly because he didn’t put toilet paper on the toilet seat in a public restroom before using it.

    When she saw marks on her son’s cheeks, she questioned him. His father had warned him not to tell. He cried and finally told her what happened. She said he was a young child and made a mistake.

    Authority: Abuse or Love? Read More »

    Reigning Through Suffering

    …it is both sin and Satan that we contend with, and our daily handling of suffering will directly determine how much sin and Satan will prevail.

    Absorbing the Evil

    Evil propagates itself by a chain reaction. It is like a bad coin, which is passed on from one person to another until it reaches someone who will put it out of currency by absorbing the loss. If one man injures another, there are three ways in which evil can win a victory and only one way in which it can be defeated. If the injured person retaliates, or nurses a grievance, or takes it out on a third person, the evil is perpetuated and is therefore victorious. Evil is defeated only if the injured person absorbs the evil and refuses to allow it to go any further. It is this kind of victory which Paul describes when he says that Christ died to sin.1

    G. B. Caird has given us a brilliant insight: the defeat of evil is often determined by the injured person! How? It is that person’s choice to absorb the evil through longsuffering, meekness, and love. When people do this, they prevent their personal injustice to percolate and transform itself into something they take out on another. The sin stops with them.

    Reigning Through Suffering Read More »

    Do I need to forgive someone who is not repentant?

    Do I need to forgive someone even if it doesn’t seem that he is sorry?

    Luke 17:3-4 answers that question this way:

    “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

    Jesus said that without genuine repentance there is no forgiveness. One example of this principle is when he says:

    Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation.2 Corinthians 7:10

    Do I need to forgive someone who is not repentant? Read More »

    What Do You Gain When You Rescue Someone?

    Proverbs 19:19:
    A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty;
    if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.

    “My husband is a hot-tempered man,” Rosie told me. “In a fit of rage, he broke my mother’s special vase.”

    “What happened next?” I asked.

    Rosie blushed as she talked about rushing to the store to find a vase just like the one her husband broke before her mother returned home.

    I looked into her eyes and asked if she had covered for her husband in the past.

    Rosie wouldn’t look at me. However, she admitted she had rescued her husband many times from the consequences of his behavior.

    “Are you tired of rescuing your husband?”

    What Do You Gain When You Rescue Someone? Read More »

    Practicing Self-Control

    Proverbs 17:27-28 NRSV
    One who spares words is knowledgeable;
    one who is cool in spirit has understanding.
    Even fools who keep silent are considered wise;
    when they close their lips, they are deemed intelligent.

    A truly wise person uses few words;
    a person with understanding is even-tempered.     NLT

    “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” – Mark Twain

    We talk too much and we feel too much. Period. End of story. Somewhere, somehow, in our culture, the idea began to permeate that one who says a lot knows a lot. But you only have to listen to people through the media to know that’s not true.

    Practicing Self-Control Read More »

    Forgetting and Forgiving

    Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and he shall save thee. Proverbs 20:22

    Do not be in a hurry. Let anger cool down. Say nothing and do nothing to avenge yourself. You will be sure to act unwisely if you take up the club and fight your own battles; and, certainly, you will not show the spirit of the Lord Jesus. It is more noble to forgive and let the offense pass. To let an injury burn inside and to think about revenge is to keep old wounds open and to make new ones. It is better to forget and forgive.

    Forgetting and Forgiving Read More »

    The Emotional Dimension of Recovery, Part 2

    Part 1

    How do feelings affect the addict in the early stages of recovery?

    This second installment on the role of emotion the recovery process will focus on the first 30-90 days of sobriety. The truth is, most addicts return to drugs and drinking when sobriety becomes too stressful for them. Therefore, teach them to deal with their feelings in a healthy manner greatly improves their chances of achieving long-term sobriety.

    A. The physiological impact on emotions.

      The first few days without drugs and alcohol are characterized by disjointed thinking and emotional upheaval. Newly sober people tend to be very anxious and uptight. This is due, in a large part , to the fact that alcohol and drug use have caused their bodies to be depleted of many important neurochemicals, like endorphines, that contribute to a normal state of well-being. Crack and cocaine users especially, experience anxiety, abnormal fears and difficulty sleeping. They can be short tempered and they have short attention spans.

    The Emotional Dimension of Recovery, Part 2 Read More »