Family

Criticism vs. Feedback

    If you have no heart to change it, you have no right to criticize it.

I’m skeptical whenever someone wants to provide “constructive criticism.”

I think criticism is a passive-aggressive form of boasting, an easy way to attract attention while trying to appear concerned. Critics often claim that they’re trying to help, but the real intent is to find fault, to highlight some flaw or failure.

In a sadly transparent admission of impotence, the critic tries to cast himself as the expert and raise his perceived status by tearing down someone else. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn, and most fools do.”

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Married to an Alcoholic? 7 Steps to Helping Them Get Sober

Are you married to an alcoholic? Is your husband/wife a different person when they drink? Are you tired of the Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde Behavior? Are you at your wits end and just can’t take it anymore? What can you do?

1. Stop trying to get your spouse to stop drinking.
No matter how much you nag and complain at them to stop drinking, it is not going to do a bit of good. What will is taking care of you. I know, it sounds backwards, but when you’re emotionally stressed out, it will be more difficult to help your loved one. You have no verbal power over the alcoholic. What you do have control over is your actions. What you do and say to the alcoholic will have a direct affect on whether or not they will continue drinking or not.

2. Detach with love.

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Teamwork of Marriage

When you get married you become connected with another person in such a way that everything you do, constructive or destructive affects the other person, and everything they do, good or bad affects you. So then knowing this, we should know that when we abuse the marriage in any way it would affect the both of you. What is God’s purpose for you as a married person? I believe He wants His children to encourage and support one another through the difficult times as well as the good.

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Marriage: Taking Responsibility For Your Actions

If you do something against your marriage, you need to take responsibility for your actions. Don’t say your spouse made you have an affair. How often do I hear, “I had an affair because my wife did”. Or, “I won’t have sex with him because he is controlling me.” “I want a divorce because my husband looks at pornography.” “My wife is an alcoholic and will never stop drinking, so I am having an affair, I deserve it.”

All of the above common marital situations can be rectified and you can both learn from these mistakes and grow into a more loving and giving marriage partner for each other.

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How Should We Pray as a Couple?

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This then is how you should pray:
Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed Be Your Name Matthew 6:9 NIV

God is our loving Father and is not only majestic and holy, but also a personal and loving God. God is in Spirit everywhere and to all people all the time. When we become believers, we are making a personal commitment to honor His holy name in everything that we do. It is not our achievements but the workings of God in us.

Your Kingdom Come, Your Will Be Done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Matthew 6:10 NIV

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Dealing With Difficult In-laws

Question: My father in law and I differ. I have on numerous occasions held my tongue and not said anything when he rants about the way I say things, where I am going, why I exist, and everything else that I can even breathe. He never says anything positive and is always filling in my words and others too. I think he thinks women are small and insignificant. I also feel he does not and has never liked me. I am mainly concerned when he mouths me that my children will notice and learn that from him. I don’t think confronting him would do a thing, because he is overbearing and will hear only what he wants. I love my husband, but not being able to be around his father.

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Why It’s Important To Respect Your Spouse

As a husband your purpose in marriage is to respect your wife, even when you don’t feel like it. When a man gets married he takes on the added responsibilities of marriage, which include being respectful and caring. A husband is to love his wife as he would love himself.

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. (Ephesians 5:28-29)

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Spare the Rod?

Proverbs 22:15
Folly is bound up in the heart of a boy,
but the rod of discipline drives it far away.

I just read a book that talked about this verse. The author—with whom I agreed about a great many things—insisted that this verse spoke of corporal punishment (spanking) and that every child (until a certain age) needs spanking to “get rid of the foolishness.”

I’m not so sure I agree.

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Alcoholic Spouse Verbal Abuse and Mind Games

Ask Angie: My spouse abuses alcohol on a nightly basis and then uses verbal abuse and mind games which upset me greatly. When I arrive home from work tired and ready to rest, my spouse is ready to drink, argue and fuss. I do not remember the last time I was able to get a full night of rest. My spouse is bitter, chooses not to forgive and blames me for the drinking. I pray constantly for God is my only refuge. We go to church and it used to be that my spouse would not drink the day of services but now that doesn’t seem to matter. My spouse finds something negative each day against me in order to have yet another excuse to stop and pick up the alcohol she abuses the remainder of the evening. Thanks for any assistance and for your prayers.

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