Abuse

When You Want Revenge

1 Corinthians 13:6 RSV
[Love] does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Ever want revenge against someone else? I think that one of the innate human emotions is the desire for one’s persecutor to suffer as much as they have caused suffering (or more). I think that many of us, at one time or another, fantasied about that horrible person being humiliated or hurt like they humiliated or hurt us.

It’s simple human nature.

But Paul tells us that we, as Christians, deny ourselves, deny our nature and choose love. We refuse to rejoice at wrong, even the suffering of our enemy, are rejoice in right. That we have a higher calling: to trust God in everything.

When You Want Revenge Read More »

Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships

Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite~sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner.

  • How our earliest relationships affect our mate selection
  • How we learn from that and look for healthier traits in our adult relationships
  • Why we are attracted to certain kinds of people

Lead by Tracy R. Warring Against Relational Sabotage

Host Welcome to the workshop on Father/daughter, Mother/son relationships Workshop Leader will be sharing with you on … Reactive Attachment Disorder and …Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite-sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner. I will open with prayer..

Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships Read More »

Abuse: It’s Deceptions, Forms & Healing

As we already know, abuse can come in many forms: physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, financial, spiritual and so on. For the most part, it is you that is the victim or survivor of abuse. But what if the abuser is you? How do you deal with the fact that you are an abuser yourself? Do you blame it on being abused yourself? Is it a result of growing up watching your parents while one abuses the other? How do you change your behaviour? Do you want to change your behaviour? There are many questions regarding when you are the abuser and there are many roads to choose from of which to travel down. Also, what if you are not the abuser, but the person being abused? What are your options? What actions should you take to end the violence?

Abuse: It’s Deceptions, Forms & Healing Read More »

Economic and Financial Abuse

Economic or financial abuse is one type of domestic violence. It shows up when the husband or partner refuses to allow his spouse to take part in financial decisions. He tells her or implies that women are inferior. He says they don’t have the intelligence or skills to handle finances.

He insists on keeping the checkbook and all financial records without letting her keep up to date with their financial status. Should he pass away first, she would have no idea how to pay bills, how to keep a checkbook, and how to handle the economic situation. She probably wouldn’t even know where he kept the checkbook and financial records.

Economic and Financial Abuse Read More »

Living Water in the Desert of Abuse

Hagar couldn’t bear to watch – or listen.

She tucked her son beneath the scant shade of a spiny bush, staggered about 100 yards away, and tried to plug her ears against his cries for help. But through the flesh and bone of her fingers, she could still hear him.

“Mama! Water! Please, Mama!” he begged, his voice cracking with adolescence and thirst.

Although the heat was oppressive, Hagar shivered with horror. Her baby was dying and she was helpless against the relentless sun and parched winds.

Soon she, too, would die from thirst. More painful than the thought of her own demise was the pleading voice of her son asking for the basic necessity of life that she could not give him — water.

Living Water in the Desert of Abuse Read More »

Waiting On The Lord

1 Corinthians 10:1-13 RSV
I want you to know, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same supernatural food and all drank the same supernatural drink. For they drank from the supernatural Rock which followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless with most of them God was not pleased; for they were overthrown in the wilderness.

Now these things are warnings for us, not to desire evil as they did. Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to dance.” We must not indulge in immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day. We must not put the Lord to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents; nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as a warning, but they were written down for our instruction, upon whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let any one who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Waiting On The Lord Read More »

Counseling Concerns For Women

  1. A special strategy for people with drug and alcohol problems is essential
    Addicts have special needs that the “garden variety” sinner does not have. They can be identified by using a standard alcohol screening test during the intake process. Then we can help them to get into an active program of recovery using such activities as support groups, addiction therapy, educational activities, etc. Use community resources if the shelter’s staff does not have expertise in this area. Addiction is a primary issue, so all other help giving will amount to nothing if the person cannot stay sober.

  2. The Issue of Toxic Shame
    By definition, “toxic shame” is an inner sense of being defective, faulty, unlovable, undeserving, unredeemable and hopeless. It is root problem for addicts, codependents and people from dysfunctional families. Most adults in family shelters fall into at least one of these categories. Toxic shame is the “glue” that holds the wall of denial together and prevents hurting people from accepting the help we offer them. They think – “If I admit I have problems, it proves that I am a worthless, useless human being.” Addiction leads to a total deterioration of a person’s moral life leading to a destructive mix of toxic shame and guilt. The Bible tells us that admitting our problems is not an admission of hopelessness or defectiveness. Instead, it is the key to forgiveness, freedom from our pasts and a new self-image.

Counseling Concerns For Women Read More »

We need boundaries! We need fences!

1 Peter 1:13-16 NRSV Therefore prepare your minds for action; discipline yourselves; set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when He is revealed. Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires that you formerly had in ignorance. Instead, as He who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct; for it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

We have dogs. Currently, we have one dog, but often we have more than one. People know that we rescue poodles, and we are often called to see if we will give a poodle a home. In the past two years, the “yard” that our dogs have enjoyed has changed considerably. First, it was the portable yard that we use for our RV. We bought two units and attached them together, so it was about 6×4 feet. Not very big, but for small dogs, large enough to walk around. Last year, when we moved into the trailer, the yard was considerably larger. There was room to run and play a bit, certainly lots of room to nose around and smell (which the dogs loved to do). In this house, the yard is huge in comparison to anything we’ve had previously. It’s a big lot and the back yard goes from edge to edge. It’s possible not to be able to see our little poodle just looking out the back door; the yard is that big.

One thing every yard had in common was some kind of a fence. The fence is both a protection from at least some of the predators getting in (though there are still those, like snakes, that can get in under the fence) and a protection from the dogs getting out of the yard and being at risk of being hit by cars or stolen by thieves.

The fence is a protection.

We need boundaries! We need fences! Read More »

When Only One Spouse is Willing to Work on the Marriage – Part 2

See Part 1

What do you do when only one spouse wants to work on saving the marriage; or what can you do when your spouse wants a divorce and you don’t? Or how can you save a marriage when a spouse says they are not in love with you anymore?

Don’t give up on the marriage!

Don’t give up just because someone tells you to find someone new or thinks you should leave your marriage. They don’t know what you need—only God can fill your needs. No matter what, you’ll still be married to your first husband or wife, so don’t get any funny ideas in your head such as remarriage because that is not going to solve the real problem. Divorce does not solve hardened hearts or a faithless walk.

Sometimes the spouse that thinks they want out of the marriage is going through troubling times at the moment and regrets ever saying that or doing things that are damaging to the marriage. Don’t give up! Pray about it and ask Jesus Christ to bring you contentment and peace.

When Only One Spouse is Willing to Work on the Marriage – Part 2 Read More »

Can Jesus save… that person, that situation, that problem?

Hebrews 7:21-22, 24-25 NRSV
“The Lord has sworn and will not change His mind,‘You are a priest forever’ ” — accordingly Jesus has also become the guarantee of a better covenant. . . . He holds His priesthood permanently, because He continues forever. Consequently He is able for all time to save those who approach God through him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.

Can Jesus save… that person, that situation, that problem, that illness, that sin? Can Jesus save? I think the answer (“yes”) is something I believe intellectually, but not always something I believe in faith. I do have the choice of trusting (having faith) or observing (looking at what I believe are the facts) and often I choose the “facts” over faith.

I like optical illusions. But I have to admit, sometimes I don’t get them. I look and look and just can’t see what it is I’m supposed to see. It’s the same with jokes. Often I listen to them and then… nothing. I just didn’t hear the humor (while my husband is bent over laughing). Both are, in a sense, illusions for a reason. They take “fact” and twist it for a purpose (to amuse). So, I think, facts are not static. Facts are not, then, the same as truth because facts can obviously be manipulated.

Can Jesus save… that person, that situation, that problem? Read More »