Self-Examination

Avoid Burn-out by Practicing Good Self-care

Urban mission work and recovery outreach are certainly unique. The rewards can be tremendous, as well as the discouragements. So, here are a few of my thoughts on how to avoid burn-out by practicing good self-care:

A. Keep a life for yourself — I often struggle to find the balance between personal priorities and ministry opportunities. It’s easy to get caught up in ministry and put my own needs on the “back burner.” Because urban missions can be a very stressful place to work good self-care practices are essential. One of the most important of them is to cultivate a life that is separate from the mission and its staff and clients. We need to leave work stress behind and pursue our own interests and relationships. For people who live in the mission facilities, failing to develop meaningful outside relationships and activities is a sure path to “burn-out.”

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Resolutions from a Recovery Perspective

It is the beginning of another year and people are making resolutions, reminiscing, and planning to make a commitment that the coming year will be a better year than this past. In some way, the stress to make and keep a resolution can make the difference between feeling as if you are a failure or you are on top of the world in every area of your life, especially your recovery.

The twelve step program teaches many excellent life skills and offers great support to those who “came to believe”. Simple messages like Keep it Simple, First Things First, and Think Think, Think, can help you make it through the day. So with all of the tools of the program and all of the support that is there for you, how is it that the good ole’ New Year’s resolution can derail your confidence as far as making progress reaching goals in your recovery?

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Twelve Steps to Freedom

The Twelve Steps originated with Alcoholics Anonymous in the mid 1930’s. Besides being used to help alcoholics and drug addicts, the Twelve Steps have been used in support groups for family members, over-eaters, compulsive gamblers, and even for those desiring to escape from sexual addiction. These Steps formed the basis of treatment and counseling activities at New Creation Center where I served as Executive Director for ten years in the 1980’s.

In the past few years, a movement recognizing the power of the Twelve Steps has sprung up among evangelical Christians concerned with those struggling with various addictions. Some believers worry that they bring secular concepts to the Christian counseling field.

From where do these Twelve Steps derive their power? The answer is very simple; from the Bible! Although following the Steps does not always bring an alcoholic (or other sufferer) into a saving relationship with Christ, they do work in overcoming addictions. This is shown by the millions of people who have found sobriety since AA’s beginning. In some ways, it is very much like the businessman who succeeds financially when he makes spiritual principles the basis of his business practices.

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Be Satisfied

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
to have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says:

“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and reservedly to me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.

“Discovering that only in Me
is your satisfaction to be found,
will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another
until you are united with Me alone,
exclusive of anyone or anything else,
exclusive of any other desires or longings.

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Our “Pet” Sins: Can a Christian be a Christian and still sin?

Romans 6:15-18 NRSV
What then? Should we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin, have become obedient from the heart to the form of teaching to which you were entrusted, and that you, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

Can a Christian be a Christian and still sin? I think that all of us know that is true. Unfortunately, our churches have been teaching (for many years) that it’s possible for a Christian to be a Christian and still embrace sin. And that’s not true.

We would like it to be true. All of us have “pet” sins that we do embrace, attitudes, expectations, desires, lusts that make us feel good, that help dull the pain in our lives. And, if we are brutally honest with ourselves, we don’t want to give those up. It’s that simple.

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What is Your Motivation when You are “Tolerant?”

1 Corinthians 5:1-5 RSV
It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and of a kind that is not found even among pagans; for a man is living with his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment in the name of the Lord Jesus on the man who has done such a thing. When you are assembled, and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

If the apostle Paul, instead of writing this in one of the sacred epistles, had wrote this on an Internet message board or in a blog, I can hear the responses: “Judged? How can you judge him?” “The Bible tells us specifically not to judge one another.” “We need to love this man, not judge him.”

And yet, not only the sinful man, but the entire congregation . . . Paul judged! And pronounced sentence. He condemned what was happening among them.

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When You Want Revenge

1 Corinthians 13:6 RSV
[Love] does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Ever want revenge against someone else? I think that one of the innate human emotions is the desire for one’s persecutor to suffer as much as they have caused suffering (or more). I think that many of us, at one time or another, fantasied about that horrible person being humiliated or hurt like they humiliated or hurt us.

It’s simple human nature.

But Paul tells us that we, as Christians, deny ourselves, deny our nature and choose love. We refuse to rejoice at wrong, even the suffering of our enemy, are rejoice in right. That we have a higher calling: to trust God in everything.

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A Christian, Sober for Years and Still an Alcoholic?

I am an alcoholic. I know what it is like to burn with a desire to drink that is so overwhelming that family, jobs, and friends mean nothing compared to the desire for liquor. I know what it is like to wake up in a hotel room not knowing where I am or how I got there. I also know the joy of complete deliverance from the power of alcohol addiction and never cease to praise God for such deliverance. ~ Jerry Dunn from God is for the Alcoholic

How can a Christian who has been sober for many years still say he is an alcoholic?

Jerry Dunn, a former president of the Association of Gospel Rescue Missions, caused quite a stir back when his book first came out in the sixties. Some leaders within our movement challenged him by asking, “How can you say you’ve experienced complete deliverance and still call yourself an alcoholic?” Even today, some Christian workers struggle with this dilemma. While his words appear to be contradictory, if we look more closely we will find some real wisdom in them.

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We Must Have Grown Up In Our Sleep (reflection on Wisdom & Aging)

It seemed to mark the end of summer,
The school bell rang and it was gone.
So many friends to share the moment,
How the days drug oil and on!
     We didn’t know that we were changing.
     We thought today was ours to keep.
     Lord, what happened to tomorrow.
     We must have grown up in our sleep.

Mary smiled, and my heart fluttered,
So many things I never said.
But the kisses that I dreamed of
Were for someone else instead.
     Puppy love may be for children,
     But the hurt goes just as deep.

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Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal)

If you find yourself losing the joy in your life
And your blessing is more like a curse
And you wonder what’s wrong with that sweet little girl
That you’ve taken for better or worse,

You look at her now and hear yourself say,
“A11 she does is gripe and complain.”
But maybe if you took a look at yourself,
You would find what exactly has changed.

Now, you didn’t used to call on that girl
With chicken hanging out of your teeth,
Your pants undone and your hair not combed
With whiskers you’ve had for a week.

You’d take three baths and put on cologne,
Shine your shoes and wax your car.
Then, you’d stand at a mirror and work on your hair
Till you looked like a Hollywood star.

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