Self-Examination - Christians in Recovery

Anger: A Different Response

Proverbs 17:14 NRSV
The beginning of strife is like letting out water;
so stop before the quarrel breaks out.

Ever punch a hole in a container full of water? This proverb is absolutely true. You can put all manner of things against the hole, but it’s almost impossible to stop the water from seeping (or pouring) out!

There are many things in our lives that, once begun, are difficult to stop. Anger and fighting is one of them. I grew up in the generation that said that when you’re angry, you need to “talk it out” in order to dissipate the emotions. Newer studies are showing that talking, when you’re angry, can lead to escalation, rather than de-escalation.

“I thought it was healthy to express my anger.” For the last 50 years the world has been saying:
“Express yourself.”
“Let ‘it out.”
“It’s good for you to express your feelings.”
“It’s bad for you to repress your feelings.”

Anger: A Different Response Read More »

Is it OK to Make Up a God of Your Own in Recovery?

CIRadmin

Earliest A.A. Leaders Specifically Described Their Trust in God

Making Up Some “god of your own?”

Some today have made up their own gods and not-gods. They’ve called them chairs, somethings, somebodies, door knobs, light bulbs, the Great Pumpkin, the Big Dipper, and whatever they are told they can do praying to a tree or a table. In later A.A., treatment people, therapists, some AAs, and even clergy began thinking they were some new self-made, extra-terrestrial “higher power.”

Not so with four important Early AAs.

A.A. Pioneers Heard: “God either is, or He isn’t;” and they chose God!

Is it OK to Make Up a God of Your Own in Recovery? Read More »

Is Your Protection Truly the Lord?

CIRadmin

You are their glorious strength. Our power is based on Your favor. Yes, our protection comes from the Lord, and He, the Holy One of Israel, has given us our king.

How much should we defend ourselves?
Perhaps the question should actually be, how much do we allow the Lord to defend us? Is our protection truly the Lord? Do we allow Him to work in situations and to take care of us? Do I?

I often wish that life would just stop for awhile and let me rest, that I could go through a few days without some kind of crisis. I would love to be able to get up, live the day, come home, go to bed, and simply breathe, rather than having to deal with the problems that come from living in a sinful world. I sure that many other believers have the same desire.

Is Your Protection Truly the Lord? Read More »

Giving Faith the Victory Over our Fears

CIRadmin

A study on Life Controlling Fears

Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed. Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.

Giving Faith the Victory Over our Fears Read More »

Am I Codependent?

CIRadmin

If you think or believe the following statements, it may be a sign that you are codependent:

My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.

Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention is focused on solving your problems or relieving your pain.

My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.

My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

My mental attention is focused on manipulating you “to do it my way.”

My self esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

My self esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.

Am I Codependent? Read More »

Do You Want to Be Righteous or Right?

CIRadmin

Do we want to be righteous… or do we want to be right? It seems, these days, that many people have difficulties taking constructive criticism. The fact is, our egos are so sensitive (so self-centered) that we want everyone to approve of us all the time, rather than accepting the kind of sacrificial love that comes from a friend who wants us to be right with God. And, oh my goodness, what turmoil wells up inside us when we are rebuked! We take it as a personal offense, rather than quietly wondering if perhaps it’s really true and we should do something about it.

A rebuke strikes deeper into a discerning person than a hundred blows into a fool.

Friends don’t let friends sin. That’s the simple fact about Christianity. If we are true to our faith, we understand that everything here is temporal and our focus should be on the eternal. And the eternal is concerned with pleasing God.

Do You Want to Be Righteous or Right? Read More »

Has God Abandoned You?

CIRadmin

Has God Abandoned You? Do you believe that He no longer loves you or cares about you? Have circumstances become so dire that there is no hope at all? I have been there too – in that dark night of the soul. The pit is so deep, so black, the walls so steep and slick that there seems to be no way out.

The times I have felt so lost, alone and totally abandoned by God were so dark I believed there was no hope. I honestly thought that God no longer cared about me. But looking back I can see that I was like a 3 year old whose mother had gone out of the room I was in. There I was all alone. It was as if I spilled milk all over myself and did not know what to do. Where was mommy?

Has God Abandoned You? Read More »

The Breath of Life: How Do You Feel About Yourself?

CIRadmin

Do you like yourself? How do you feel about yourself? How do you view yourself? In the eyes of those around you? Your peers? Your family members? Your employers and the other authority figures in your life? In the eyes of your Lord Jesus Christ?

Personally, for as long as I could remember, I had dwelt beneath a shadow of deep inner shame. Shame that whispered in my ear, tortuously accusing me with words such as, “You are dirty; you are worthless and deserving of punishment; you are unlovable and warrant no merit in this world.”

Proverbs 23:7 teaches us that, For as he thinks in his heart, so is he [Amplified Bible]. Like the leper in Luke 5:12, I knew (or so I thought) that I was unclean. However, unlike the leper in Luke 5, I had no idea that Jesus could make me clean, and that He desired to do so. I was lost in a deep ocean of deceit with the waves of false belief tossing me against the sharp and slippery rocks created by the lies of the enemy – Satan – along with many falsehoods from my past without God. Furthermore, I was being dragged beneath the dark surface by the undertow of lack of knowledge:

The Breath of Life: How Do You Feel About Yourself? Read More »

What is Wisdom and How do We Acquire it?

CIRadmin

We know there are a lot of broken, miserable, angry, sad, frustrated, married couples who are not living their marriage in the “ways of the Lord”. Every day they trudge in their daily routine barely able to take another day. When we are going through such issues in our marriage, such as being married to an abusive alcoholic, or married to a unfaithful man or woman we only see as clear as our feelings will let us see. This is not enough to repair damage done to the marriage.

We have to go beyond our feelings and emotions and try to understand what is happening in our marriage so we can do something about it in the spiritual way and not through how we are feeling about it. It’s difficult to do but it is what NEEDS to be done. If we continue in our own perspective by “how we are feeling” we truly do not grow spiritually and we stay within our own private little world of emotions.

This is where wisdom comes into the picture. As scripture says, we have to throw off everything that hinders us or lay aside every weight that is keeping us from seeing clearly so we can win the race; this includes how we are feeling, which may be ill will and resentment towards our spiritually sick spouse and other loved ones. Feelings are ok to have, we need to experience our feelings, but we also need to recognize when our feelings become stumbling blocks in our growth with God.

…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

What is Wisdom and How do We Acquire it? Read More »

Lies Adult Children of Alcoholics Believe

CIRadmin

1. That I can control my emotions.
2. That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts.
3. That I deserve:

to get something good.
to get something bad.
to be punished for mistakes.
to be rewarded for perfection.
to be rewarded for good behavior, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.

4. That I can “make” sense out of anything. (“Making” sense is not the same as “discovering” sense.)
5. That I am responsible for

for outcomes.
for other people’s feelings, thoughts or actions.

6. That I am not responsible for my own actions – that it is all someone else’s fault.

Lies Adult Children of Alcoholics Believe Read More »