Self-Examination

Funhouse Mirrors: Distorted Body Images

When I was a little girl, I once went into one of those carnival funhouses with the mirrors. It was the one and only time I did so. I remember I didn’t get very far. I took one look at my distorted series of reflected images and high-tailed it out of there so fast, you could probably see my streak marks hang in the air.

Festive.

Cut to about fourteen years later: I was nineteen or twenty years old when I was, once again, standing in front of multiple mirror images. Only this time, there was no carnival- and certainly, no fun. It was, instead, just me, choosing to stand and scrutinize myself in front of my three-way mirror, picking myself apart, via my disordered eating and body image behaviors.

Funhouse Mirrors: Distorted Body Images Read More »

How Do You Live?

Acts 17:28: For in him we live and move and have our being.

“Every woman on my dad’s side of the family has died of breast cancer except me,” a lady told me as I drove her to the airport.

I gulped before I answered. She was a miracle of God’s grace and mercy. I wondered what work God has in store for her on earth.

I told her I’m also a miracle of God’s grace and mercy. Twelve years ago I went through breast cancer treatment. Prior to my diagnosis, two cousins had died of breast cancer. My work on earth is not yet finished either.

My medical oncologist who oversaw my chemotherapy treatment had lymphoma, but she was fully alive and fully involved in the treatment of all of her patients.

How Do You Live? Read More »

Tree Pose: Heart and Mind Balance

I admit it; I’ve tried yoga. (This is not the point in which you laugh yet).

Although, my yoga odyssey is humorous to watch (both my husband and my cats cock their heads to the side in bewilderment), it has helped me to at least address, if not practice, the concept of balance. And one pose, in particular, seems to concentrate on that goal: the tree pose. Here’s a quick rundown of that pose for those of you out there who are not bewildering your significant others and pets:

First, you stand still, while slightly shifting your weight onto your left foot. Next, take your right leg, bending your right knee, all while grabbing your right and positioning it on your inner left leg. Anyone fall down yet? Balance! Yes, wonderful, beautiful balance!

But wait, there’s more.

Tree Pose: Heart and Mind Balance Read More »

Listening More and Talking Less

Proverbs 18:2
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing personal opinion.

Proverbs talks a lot about, well, talking! I think that we often confirm who we are (whether we want to be that person or not) when we talk. Abraham Lincoln is credited with saying, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” And yet, we still talk. We talk in person. We talk (and text) on cell phones. We talk on the Internet. We talk, talk, talk. And a great deal of the time, we are “expressing personal opinion.”

Listening More and Talking Less Read More »

ACOA in the Workplace – Burnout Checklist

Are you an adult child of an alcoholic? This will help you to recognize signs of burnout.

    1. Are you constantly bothered by aches and pains?

    2. Are you often ill?

    3. Do you work overtime or take work home on a routine basis?

    4. Do you feel a responsibility to lighten the work load of your co-workers?

    5. Do you feel sensitive to or responsible for your supervisor’s mood/problems?

    6. Do you resort to manipulation to get things done?

    7. Do you avoid confrontation?

    8. Do you suppress your feelings about work situations?

    9. Do you become anxious about your supervisor’s evaluation of your performance?

ACOA in the Workplace – Burnout Checklist Read More »

Preventing Relapse

Addicts relapse when it is more painful to stay sober than it is to get “high”. The immediate benefits of ceasing drug and alcohol use include:
improved health, better sleep , return of appetite, and clearer thinking. However, all addicts eventually face a challenge even more difficult than stopping drinking or using drugs — coping with life without them! Doing so involves a whole lot more than just “putting the cork in the bottle”. They must they learn a completely new way of life. We often refer to this process as “recovery” — the Bible calls it “sanctification” — a definite ongoing program of personal growth

Major Causes of Relapse

  • Denial
    inability to accept that one is indeed addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and that it is a primary cause of life problems.

  • Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome
    inability to cope with a set of very stressful, physiologically-based symptoms that occur only after use of alcohol and drugs has stopped

  • Emotional Dysfunction
    inability to cope with feelings such as grief, depression, stress, fear, etc., without mind altering substances.

  • Relational Dysfunction
    inability to develop and maintain healthy relationships with others.

Preventing Relapse Read More »

Do We Truly Love or are We Only Loving Ourselves?

1 Corinthians 5:9-13 RSV
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with immoral men; not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But rather I wrote to you not to associate with any one who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Drive out the wicked person from among you.”

If we, the Church, were more obedient to God’s Word, churches would probably be much smaller. Paul’s admonition here is for Christians not to associate with those bear “the name of brother” if:

  • They are immoral
  • They are greedy
  • They are an idolater
  • They are a reviler
  • They are a drunkard
  • They are a robber

Do We Truly Love or are We Only Loving Ourselves? Read More »

The Need for Repentance

…repentance is the ultimate tipping point. It is the mechanism that puts genuine change into action in our lives and in our culture. It is what enables us to move beyond the past-and all of the mistakes of the past-and into the future with bright hopes and new dreams. Repentance is the fulcrum upon which transformation turns.

One of the central messages of the Scriptures is a call to repentance. It is not to predict the future. It is not to offer new moral mandates. It is simply to declare the “words, statutes, and commandments of the Lord” that the people might “be overtaken and repent” (Zechariah 1:6). It is that they might “put on sackcloth and lament” (Joel 1:13). It is that they might “repent and turn” from all their transgressions “lest iniquity be their stumbling block” (Ezekial 18:30). It is that they might “return to the Lord” for “healing and restoration” (Hosea 6:1). This is the constant refrain of hope in the Scriptures:

The Need for Repentance Read More »

Understanding and Overcoming Loneliness

I have been in counselling now for many years, working with God, my counsellors and myself with all my might to overcome the scars of the past. Sometimes those scars leave me feeling lonely and longing for someone to be with me. I know I am not the only one.

Many people suffer with loneliness in our society, and many generations. Seniors suffer from loneliness when their spouses dies. Couples suffer loneliness when one partner works extra long hours to make ends meet. Teenagers suffer from loneliness when they cannot make and keep friends. Children are also lonely when, as children do, choose other friends than them for a time. People with disabilities suffer because they are unable to get out into society. And the patients of mental health suffer loneliness in silence, ashamed to tell anybody they are lonely because they fear they will look weak.

Understanding and Overcoming Loneliness Read More »

Pornography, Christianity and Control

When thinking of pornography and Christianity and the issue of control, things get quite interesting. Matthew 18:3 informs us:

    And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

On the other hand it seems intuitive that the repetitive use of pornography is proof that our “internal adolescent” has wrested away the controls in the command center of our brain and what is needed is a return of control to the superego. We long for simple joys, simple trust, unconditional love but there is no denying that we physically are no longer children and we can get into some very big trouble.

Pornography, Christianity and Control Read More »