Morality

How to Handle a Cheating Husband

Ask Angie: Is divorce the only answer for a repeat cheater?

Ask Angie: How do I stop him from cheating on me?

Ask Angie: My husband confessed to cheating I was so hurt I threw him out of our home and we are now separated, he has been treating me worse than ever and is acting like he was when I suspected his cheating what should I do? I’m so confused.

Ask Angie: My husband left me and moved in with a woman, for the second time! He came back complaining about her but left again. I am a Christian and want my husband back. He’s been gone 5 weeks with no contact. We have 3 children. The woman he is with is married too, and to number 4? Is restoration a reality?

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Compromise: Left, Right, Or Something Else?

Which are you—left, right, or somewhere in the middle?

spectrumWe’re apparently programmed to think of nearly every aspect of our lives in terms of a linear continuum.

Politics provides the most obvious example. Left/right, liberal/conservative, red/blue. While most of us don’t reside at an extreme, we’re certainly conditioned to think of ourselves at least on one side or the other of center.

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Sins Of Righteousness

What’s the ultimate sin?

I’ve always figured sin was sin, none any better or worse than others. I’ve always wondered about folks who seem to categorize sins and set themselves apart as though there’s something admirable about belonging to a better class of sinner.

If you’re a regular reader, you know that my small group is studying The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. Last night we discussed Keller’s assertion that one sin underlies all of our other sins and our righteousness—in his words, “the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord.”

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Confidentiality and the Christian Health Care Worker

The principle of confidentiality is necessary to protect information essential for intimate relationships. However, carefully timed and chosen speech used to breach a confidence may protect a neighbor’s life. Therefore the difficult choice of whether to remain “silent” in maintaining a confidence or to “speak” and in so doing justly decide the appropriate person, place and time of speech, demands the wisdom of Solomon.

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Discernment

This week’s word is discernment.

I encountered this term last week in a wonderful workshop offered by Gus Lee. Gus talked about courage and leadership, and one of his key points was that courageous leaders must exercise discernment.

In this context, discernment implies searching beyond what is obvious or superficial. It’s developing and exercising the power to distinguish and select what is true or appropriate or excellent.

Discernment seeks to understand what’s right, true, and best. It searches deeper than what’s expedient or acceptable.

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It’s No Joke

The world may laugh at “right” and “wrong”,
Assuming it’s a joke,
As Simpsons change the golden rule
To “Brother’s eye I’ll poke”,
Many are the clever ways
To package corporate greed
So lemming-like consumers feel
Like dashing knights on steeds.
Bigger houses, bigger cars
Disguising psyches bearing scars,
Depression rates, divorces soar
But no one cares about the score.

Sometimes I wonder when this building wave
Will crash and spawn
A new appreciation for
The path we’re really on,
Life is more than grabbing for
The latest, greatest buzz,
All the while enriching those
Who fill our brains with fuzz.
Bring the dawning, let it come,
Lord we sorely need the Son
Of Righteousness to heal our wounds,
Eclipse the madness, breach the tomb.

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Identifying Values

Like many of us on the path to recovery I was the ultimate party girl as a teenager. When I reached my late teens-early twenties friends started saying things like, “you’re fun when you’ve had a few but not when you’ve had a few too many.” Eventually, my friends stopped asking me out to the bars with them. Once in while a brave heart would invite me along and then proceed to “keep an eye on me” throughout the night. They feared I would do something atrocious to embarrass them or I would do something incredibly stupid to hurt myself. These people really loved me and genuinely wanted to enjoy my company. They were ever so hopeful this time would be different. It rarely, if ever, was. At the age of 21 I was introduced to crack cocaine and I incorporated that into my partying as well.

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Holy Hope

I am convinced that God never ceases to form, reform, and transform all of creation. I am further assured and reassured that God in Christ works to lift our personal burdens and set us free from the chains that bind us. I therefore believe:

WE ARE RESPONSIBLE

To the extent that we assume our own responsibility, our serenity and joys increase. This response-ability is ours and belongs to no one else. It is also the basis for our personal morality and social ethic. As God’s earthly flock, we are not to be condemned for our natural human weakness, sickness, or waywardness. But we are accountable. We have the choice to be willful or to become willing and allow our divine Shepherd to tend us. We can always turn and return to God for health and salvation.

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