Guidance - Christians in Recovery

Exposing the Adultery Pandemic

What is a pandemic? According to Merriam Webster’s online dictionary, a pandemic is an “outbreak” occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population. I would consider adultery to be of pandemic proportions considering the high rate of marital suffering, divorce, sickness and disease among a high proportion of the world. What do you think? Let’s take a closer look and examine this issue.

If you knew of a dangerous virus going around in the city where you lived that caused fever, chills, nausea, severe diarrhea, and vomiting, and death to those with a weak immune system, you would probably stay as far away from the city as possible? At the least, you would wear a hospital mask over your face to avoid the harmful germs, right?

Adultery is like a virus but much worse. It spreads from person to person like a virus and if a person is not spiritually well, it will entangle them within its insidious hold and cause much spiritual and mental anguish, not to mention, in many cases, physical illness, deterioration, and death.

As with any pandemic that we learn about we always go out of our way to avoid the offender, lest we too become sick. Viruses become a pandemic only because people do not take the needed precautions in the beginning of its destruction. Sometimes it is because of filthy conditions or lack of knowledge but once we figure out the cause we avoid it like the plague, no pun intended.

Do we avoid sex outside of marriage? Why not?

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Male Body Image and Eating Disorders

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When you think of an eating or image disorder, what springs to mind?

If we’re honest, often our knee-jerk characterization is female. A lot of us think disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia, are a “women’s issue.”

But what about the male gender?

“In the United States, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, or an eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS). For various reasons, many cases are likely not to be reported. In addition, many individuals struggle with body dissatisfaction and sub-clinical disordered eating attitudes and behaviors, and the best-known contributor to the development of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa is body dissatisfaction.” www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

Unfortunately, both the male and female genders suffer from distorted and disordered image messages and practices. Perhaps, males don’t always possess the same behaviors as those of their female counterparts. Nevertheless, the obsession and self-destructive evidence is there. And, at some of its most extreme, it often manifests in the bodybuilding arena.

“…The onset of disease in males is typically triggered by a concern with bodybuilding and sport training…”

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Why do people betray me when I tell them my secrets?

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Matthew 24:10 KJV
And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

Another stop on the road to recovery takes you to the intersection of people and who I said it to. There many warnings signs, directions, instructions and other signpost to consider as you travel the path to self enlightenment. The foundation of this healthy spirit filled life begins with the journey within.

This journey into self teaches many things about who you are and who you are not. It might be the first time in a long time you realize that some of the things you said in order to belong to the group came back to hurt you and you felt you were betrayed. How did this insane way of getting attention affect you? What can you do to protect yourself in recovery? Addiction and alcoholism are about confusion and deceit. They are based on the smoking glasses and half truths about everything in your life.

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Are You Lacking Kindness?

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Kindness:
This attribute is powerful, possessing tremendous relevance and meaning.

According to The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, some of the benefits include:

A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer period of calm, after performing a kind act is often referred to as a “helper’s high”, involving physical sensations and the release of the body’s natural painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a longer-lasting period of improved emotional wellbeing.

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Trick Images of Self

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I recently came across a souvenir my mother received from her British pen pal in the 1950’s. It’s one of those trick images of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip; who you see depends on the angle of the portrait.

It brings to mind the following scripture:

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

And it made me think of my distorted image issues:

“…I stood in my bedroom, in front of my three-way mirror. I’d seen so many versions of myself. I’d been fat and thin, feeling both unworthy and worthy. Yet I was never satisfied…”
(Excerpt taken from Cruse’s book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”)

Images and mirrors don’t delve into great detail about each trauma, milestone, issue and phase of our lives. They don’t accurately depict things as they are. Smudges and warps can alter what reflects back at us. And these images and mirrors certainly don’t predict the future or explain the Most High completely.

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Overcoming Self-loathing

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I am astounded by the number of young people who approach me with such intense self-loathing. I frequently hear them say things like…

When I ask them, however, why they feel that way, I usually get this response:

“I don’t know.”

For what I am doing, I do not understand…” Romans 7:15

Statistics show…

“One in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly.”

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Perseverance: The Race Set Before Us

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Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1

Gaman is a Japanese term of Zen origin which means “enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity”. The term is generally translated as “perseverance” or “patience.”

And, within Scripture, this principle is, indeed, a faith focal point.

… we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience. And patience, experience; and experience, hope: Romans 5:3-4

For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. Hebrews 10:36

I don’t know about your physical education experience when you were a kid, but my class always participated in the annual presidential physical fitness test.

Is anyone out there groaning yet?

As part of that test to assess kids’ fitness levels, things like pushups, sit ups and pull ups were measured. But the thing which caused me the most dread- and the least success- was the 600 yard run.

Now, is anyone out there groaning?

If you’re not familiar with

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What is “SELF?”

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The English Dictionary defines *SELF* as…

A person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality: one’s own self; a person’s nature, character, etc.: his or her better self; personal interest; Philosophy, the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with that known, remembered, etc. the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience.

I came to an understanding a while ago that my *SELF*, has many different hats so to say. For instance there is my Family-Self, (represented by my surname and genetic inheritance) My Work-Self, my Cultural-Self, my Social-Self, my Happy-self, my Sad-self, my National-self, my Lower-self
and my Higher-Self (which equals my Higher Power or Spirit- Self). I have a body-self, a mind-self, emotional-self. I also have an Addict-Self, and a Co-dependent-Self…etc…

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People Who Fail (No other kind around)

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For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23

I recently came across this little inspiration ditty circulating on social media:

“God uses People Who Fail (No other kind around).”

That’s become more of a revelation to me in the last few years, especially within the context of recovery. It’s not a one-time, flawless thing. It’s day in, day out, with some days being better than others. It doesn’t sound glamorous or rewarding. Nevertheless, it is reality and embracing the process of life itself can be liberating if we, perhaps, give ourselves permission to fail. Part of that requires we not disqualify ourselves at the first — or the one thousandth — mistake; God doesn’t.

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.” Isaiah 41:9

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I often encounter people who are perfectionists — and I get it. Among all the things I’m recovering from in life, perfectionism is, indeed, right up there. And, again, in the recovery context, it is

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One Day at a Time to a Better Life

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“As your days–so shall your strength be!” Deuteronomy 33:25

One of the secrets of happy and beautiful life, is to live one day at a time. Really, we never have anything to do any day–but the bit of God’s will for that day. If we do that well–we have absolutely nothing else to do.

Time is given to us in days. It was so from the beginning. This breaking up of time into little daily portions means a great deal more than we are accustomed to think. For one thing, it illustrates the gentleness and goodness of God. It would have made life intolerably burdensome if a year, instead of a day–had been the unit of division. It would have been hard to carry a heavy load, to endure a great sorrow, or to keep on at a hard duty–for such a long stretch of time. How dreary our common task-work would be–if there were no breaks in it, if we had to keep our hand to the plough for a whole year! We never could go on with our struggles, our battles, our suffering–if night did not mercifully settle down with its darkness, and bid us rest and renew our strength.

We do not understand how great

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