Guidance

Self-Image: Belief and the Media

It’s difficult to live in this culture and not hit negative body image. It’s particularly potent for those of us struggling with disordered eating and image issues. Check out the statistics:

  • Numerous correlational and experimental studies have linked exposure to the thin ideal in mass media to body dissatisfaction, internalization of the thin ideal, and disordered eating among women.
  • The effect of media on women’s body dissatisfaction, thin ideal internalization, and disordered eating appears to be stronger among young adults than children and adolescents. This may suggest that long-term exposure during childhood and adolescence lays the foundation for the negative effects of media during early adulthood.
  • Pressure from mass media to be muscular also appears to be related to body dissatisfaction among men. This effect may be smaller than among women but it is still significant.
  • Young men seem to be more negatively affected by the media images than adolescent boys are.

    • (Media, Body Image, and Eating Disorders:
    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/media-body-image-and-eating-disorders)

    We cannot underestimate the influence of media. George Orwell warned us of that sentiment years earlier:
    “The people believe what the media tells them they believe.”

    Self-Image: Belief and the Media Read More »

    When the Past Haunts Us

    I often find myself going over and over the past,like when I am trying to go to sleep at night and can’t because of these thoughts. All the fear and panic of the past creeps into my present. It is as if I re-live it all in real time. It can be extremely painful both spiritually and emotionally.

    I have come to learn a few things.

    1. I can always learn from my past and I think we are supposed to learn from our past mistakes and missteps.

    2. Satan can use the past to keep me in bondage. And that is certainly not the will of God. The last thing I want is to be doing what Satan wants. So, when these thoughts come back to me I pray. I ask God for healing in this area of my life.

    When the past comes back to haunt me it can be something from years ago or from just yesterday. Usually the result is confusion in my entire being. But scripture teaches:

    For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33

    So I have to wonder if it is not Satan who drags some of this stuff up to confuse me, to make all of these emotions boil over and create a mess. Now, I am not saying I have to ignore these feelings and emotions. They should and must be dealt with in a godly and biblical fashion. But I cannot allow them to create confusion and a mess in my life. I have to be aware of these emotions and deal with them, not allow the pot to boil over.

    When the Past Haunts Us Read More »

    Is it Possible to Actually Seek Rejection?

    “Actors search for rejection. If they don’t get it, they reject themselves.”
    ~Charlie Chaplin


    As someone with a theater background, I’ve often encountered rejection.

    I’ve endured many auditions and have heard my fair share of no. I didn’t look the part, sound the part, I couldn’t get a handle on a certain accent or I simply was not “good enough.”

    Ah, yes, “good enough.” For many of us perfectionists and/or recovering addicts, this little phrase cuts right to the core.

    In one way or another, we are recovering from something in life. And yes, it’s often fueled by rejection.

    Is it Possible to Actually Seek Rejection? Read More »

    What are you willing to change?

    We’re in the middle of cold and flu season; sickness abounds.

    And, it’s at this time of year, I think about healing. It’s one thing to be flu-ridden, queasy, achy, possessing a high fever and wish to be well.

    However, it’s another thing if we struggle with addictions and compulsions; they are also referred to as “disease.” With that situation, we’re often conflicted at best and resistant and unhealthy at worst. What is our response to the question, “Do you want to get well?”

    Hey, even Jesus asked the question.

    What are you willing to change? Read More »

    The Most and The Greatest

    The most useless thing to do ………..Worry
    The greatest Joy………………………….Giving
    The greatest loss……………..Loss of self-respect
    The most satisfying work…………….Helping others

    The ugliest personality trait………………….Selfishness
    The most endangered species……………….Dedicated leaders
    The greatest “shot in the arm”………………Encouragement
    The greatest problem to overcome………….Fear

    Most effective sleeping pill…………..Peace of mind
    The most crippling failure disease………Excuses
    The most powerful force in life………….. ……..Love
    The most dangerous pariah……………………………A gossiper

    The Most and The Greatest Read More »

    Nothing Personal: Eating Disorders & Christmas

    So far, I haven’t thrown the Christmas tree out the window, but I feel if one more inappropriate comment is made at a holiday party/festivity, a certain sidewalk could possibly look a bit merrier.

    “It’s nothing personal.” It’s a well-worn phrase, sometimes used as a dismissive slight, just to get a dig in.

    Unfortunately, in the context of holiday parties, this personal minefield, be it in the form of a question or comment, can wreak some extremely sensitive havoc in our lives, especially those of us who are in recovery from eating disorders. Be it a personal question or a personal comment, the impact is still destructive and can tempt the best of us to look for the nearest Christmas tree to launch out of the nearest portal.

    Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
    and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.     Proverbs 18:21

    Indeed.

    Some people out there may think I’ve completely lost my sense of humor. Can I be honest here? I think those are often the people who find “fat jokes,” for example, extremely funny. Laughing at someone who’s struggling- hilarious.

    Nevertheless, as someone in recovery from eating disorders, the holidays can be a touchy and downright miserable situation to be in, when a person asks or comments about food or body image issues; it’s triggering. A few examples…

    Nothing Personal: Eating Disorders & Christmas Read More »

    Surviving the Holidays: Some Tips for People in Recovery

    For most people, the weeks between Thanksgiving and the New Year are a special time of joy and celebration. Yet, it can be an extremely difficult and stressful time for those who are just beginning to recover from addiction to alcohol and drugs. Spending the holidays in a shelter or residential recovery program is hard.

    Here’s a few simple thoughts that can make the experience a little more tolerable

    A. Remember the spiritual significance of the holidays – This time of year is a major commercial event for America’s retailers. It is also a time for special celebrations of family and goodwill. Still, we must remember that “Jesus is the Reason for the Season”. Above all else, we are celebrating God’s sending of His only Son to be our Savior and Redeemer. Keeping Christmas as a spiritual celebration puts all of our other expectations for the holiday season in proper perspective.

    B. Don’t isolate – The holidays can be the loneliest time of the year for the recovering addict. On one hand, we are reminded of all the relationships we’ve messed up. Some will spend Christmas haunted by memories loved ones and friends they’ve alienated with destructive and manipulative behavior. We know, too, if we want to keep our sobriety, we must avoid people who are still using alcohol and drugs. What’s the solution? Take advantage of the new sober acquaintances God has brought your way. Reach out to those around you and use this holiday season s as a special opportunity to get to know them better.

    Surviving the Holidays: Some Tips for People in Recovery Read More »

    Holidays are so difficult; Can I just stay home?

    Holidays are so difficult; my in-laws are so mean to me. Can I just stay home?

    First of all, in order to stay home, would you have to make up an excuse or could you tell the truth about why you wanted to bow out of the activities? In this case, doing the right thing may be very difficult, but no less necessary.

    I would guess that you could come up with several people who would be very hurt and disappointed by your absence. My advice is to focus on them. Make those few people your comfort for the day. You can sit by them, talk to them and lean on them for support. Focus on your support system instead of those few hurtful people who try to make you suffer.

    Holidays are so difficult; Can I just stay home? Read More »

    Is the price Jesus paid for you and me enough?

    “It cost God plenty to get you and me out of that dead-end, empty-headed life we grew up in.”

    Is the price Jesus paid for you and me enough? Do you feel that you need to add your (good intentioned) efforts-kind of like the “Cross of Calvary”, plus you? We may need to meditate on the following scriptures to sort out the before questions.

    I posted this recently, but have a strong sense from God that someone desperately needs this truth, right at this moment! Please stand with me in intercession for those who truly can’t live another day without the revelation of Calvary.

    How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

    Punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And just barely free either; abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, and everything on planet earth.

    Is the price Jesus paid for you and me enough? Read More »

    Are You “Doing” or Actually Giving Your Heart?

    God is not looking for you to “DO” more for him. He is simply and passionately looking for more “OF YOU”. He is looking for more of your heart.

    His constant passionate cry is:

    My child, give me your heart. (Proverbs 23:26)

    For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show HIMSELF STRONG on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to him. (2 Chronicles 16:9a, NKJV)

    You are at your best resting in His loving heart and grace, not in some piety or religious service and performance. Even though it may be well intentioned. “Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into (by faith through grace) what God does for you. True freedom develops best in the fierce battle to live loved and to love others by the fruit of grace.”

    The Christian may be like a ship tossed in a storm. Nobody on board may be aware that the ship is making headway at all. Yet it is sailing on at great speed (but not without resistance). Great winds and storms help fruit-bearing trees. So also do corruptions and temptations help the fruitfulness of grace and holiness…corruptions and temptations develop the fruit of humility, self-abasement and mourning in a deeper search for the grace by which holiness grows strong. But only later will there be visible fruits of increased holiness. (John Owen)

    Are You “Doing” or Actually Giving Your Heart? Read More »