Forgiveness of Others

It’s Awfully Easy to be Judgmental

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~Carl Jung

He saw me glaring at him.

As he walked slowly and deliberately to his car in the handicapped-reserved space beside mine, I did everything possible to silently display my contempt. He obviously didn’t need that spot. I wanted to make sure he knew that I knew and that I disapproved.

I’m not sure why I felt the need to be the parking space police that morning. I was having a particularly hard time getting my chair situated beside my car, and I guess I wanted to vent my frustration on someone else.

It’s Awfully Easy to be Judgmental Read More »

How To Change Another Person

river runs through itWhy is it the people who need the most help… won’t take it? Norman Maclean (A River Runs Through It)

Who’s that person in your life who needs to change?

Perhaps a boss bullies and controls or fosters chaos through indecisiveness. Maybe a coworker refuses to communicate or a friend follows a self-destructive path. Possibly a child breaks your heart with obviously bad decisions or a spouse drifts silently away.

How To Change Another Person Read More »

Discord in Relationships

Proverbs 6:16-19 NRSV
There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that hurry to run to evil,
a lying witness who testifies falsely,
and one who sows discord in a family.

It’s interesting that Solomon begins with “there are six things . . . seven . . .” Matthew Henry notes, of this beginning:
“and the last of them (which, being the seventh, seems especially to be intended, because he says they are six, yea, seven) is part of his character, that he sows discord.”

Discord in Relationships Read More »

Do You Choose Anger or Trust?

Galatians 5:16-21 NRSV
Live by the Spirit, I say, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For what the flesh desires is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is opposed to the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the law. Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Do You Choose Anger or Trust? Read More »

The Real Power Of Forgiveness


To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Lewis Smedes

I wrote an article advancing a revolutionary notion: Forgiveness isn’t… easy.

No kidding.

We all struggle to forgive when we’ve been hurt. That’s sort of obvious.

So here’s a question: If it’s so hard, why bother? Why go to all the trouble of forgiving?

Why not get revenge? Why shouldn’t I make that other person suffer? Why just let it go and let him get away with it?

The Real Power Of Forgiveness Read More »

Losing Trust in Spouse, Regaining that Trust

Ask Angie: My husband and I are not on the same page when it comes to trust issues, today something came up that hit a button that really showed me how I don’t trust him. He did something I felt went behind my back. When I found out about it, I was very upset. I felt he was being dishonest with me and I then realized why I don’t trust him. See he is done these things most of our married life. When I comforted him I let him know that his behavior is what I don’t trust. That this kind of behavior cannot go on. That is this kind of behavior that is the reason I don’t trust him and that it is his job to restore my trust in him.

Losing Trust in Spouse, Regaining that Trust Read More »

Forgiveness isn’t Easy

forgive Forgiveness isn’t easy. When someone hurts me, my natural reaction is not forgiveness. How can I forgive something this bad?

Have you ever heard (or asked) that question?

Forgiveness isn’t our first impulse. We’ve all been hurt, and “letting it go” isn’t programmed into our menu of responses. We want to fight back, to hurt the one who hurt us.

The common phrase “don’t get mad, get even” sounds clever, but there’s really no such place as “even.” Revenge only perpetuates a hurtful cycle. To paraphrase Ghandi, eye for eye and tooth for tooth leaves us with a world full of toothless blind people.

Forgiveness isn’t Easy Read More »

What’s Growing in the Garden of Your Heart?

Nothing tastes as good to me out of a garden as a tomato that has just been picked. I remember when I was young and living at home in Illinois, my Dad had planted a garden with tomatoes, green onions, bell peppers, cucumbers and other things which I can’t remember. When I ate one of those delicious tomatoes from the garden that he had just picked, it tasted so good. I would slice it and put a little sugar on it. However, there is another garden that has fruit which tastes a lot better to me and that is the garden of a Christian’s heart that has all of the fruits of the Spirit operating in his or her heart.

What’s Growing in the Garden of Your Heart? Read More »