Faith Builders

Depression and No Self-worth

I’ve struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I’ve struggled since a young teen with BDD, “body dysmorphic disorder”, a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my ‘coping mechanism” because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I’d been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr’s and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

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I Was Saved, But I Had Lost the Joy

Before I joined Christians in Recovery is was becoming very introverted, I was saved but had lost the joy. I had allowed myself to become very self centered, due to many stressful situations in my life.

When I discovered CIR I found so many caring people filled with the love of Christ and just wanting to help anyone who asked. It made me stop and think, that’s what it’s all about not just recovery but Christianity, helping and encouraging each other, I can see the light of God shining through so many people here.

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There was no Hope for Me

No-one wanted to deal with me. I was a lost cause to all, that is except for God.

I have been told by many to remain silent. That God would not use a person such as what I was. That miracles do not happen now-a-days, and on and on. It’s not understood, so I guess it isn’t to be mentioned. That sentiment has came from numerous local believers & church leaders as well as from the majority, seemingly, from the twelve step community here.

But I am not to remain silent. I must serve God rather than man regardless of what others think or believe. I feel inadequate enough, and there is no time for hate and debate. Bill W. had one.

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Twenty Two Years of Living Hell

I had been saved and baptized at the age of 13. I was pulled away from my relationship I had with Jesus because of lack of knowledge, sin and not keeping up with prayer and reading my Bible. I had been involved with a couple of seances and Ouija boards with some friends even though I hadn’t believed in them or worshiped that kind of thing. I only did it to go along with my friends and actually thought it was all rigged. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening! Shortly after I had been saved I had been visited by satan in my bedroom. I believe that night his demons had attached themselves to me because within a short period of time after that night there was such a sudden change in my behaviour and moods that it was thought that there was something medically wrong.

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Alcohol, Crack, Heroin, Sexual Abuse – But God kept His Word

Hi my name is Steve I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.

I was baptized as infant and attended a catholic school and there was rules and things were disciplined. That is where I started to rebel and was asked to leave or to straighten up. I continued my education in public school.

I was sexually abused by an employer of a fast food place where I worked sweeping the parking lot. When I was around 14 years old he would buy me things gave me beer and cigarettes and I was to ashamed to tell anyone.

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