When You Have No Sponsor or Recovery Buddy

It is OK Not to Have a Sponsor
Not everyone in recovery has a mentor all of the time. It is OK not to have a sponsor or recovery buddy! It is important for you to have a special rapport with the person who is going to be your recovery buddy or sponsor. Do not try to rush the process The more time you spend finding an appropriate person the more likely you will find someone who is a good listener and communicator. Not everyone is able or willing to commit to being a good sponsor. They may have other obligations that prevent them from being an effective mentor.

Many people feel lost without a sponsor. This is usually due to the fact that they are looking to their sponsor to “fix” them. Your sponsor is not God. Be very careful not to make an idol of him or her. They are simply someone who lends and ear and shares their own experience, faith, strength and hope. It is possible to get along without a sponsor. Remember that as a Christian you are never alone — you have God the Father, Jesus Christ your Savior and the Holy Spirit as your guide and comforter.

Learn All You Can
Determine if youreally need a sponsor. Guidelines for recovery buddies and sponsors will help you in selecting an apporpriate mentor. Become familiar with what a sponsor does and does not do. Learn the benefits of having a sponsor/recovery buddy. Find out what the difference is between a sponsor, mentor and recovery buddy.

Take Your Time
Take your time when looking for a mentor. The more time you spend, the more likely you are to find the right person that God intends for you. Pray and ask God for guidance and to lead you to the right person. Make a list of what you are looking for in the person. Get to know as many people in recovery as you are able through meetings (online and face to face). Post in the Message Boards and let others know you are look for a mentor. Ladies post here | Men post here.

Do not Isolate
If you have been looking for a sponsor for many weeks or months, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that nobody cares. Or believing, “no one wants to be my sponsor.”
That is stinkin’ thinkin’. Get off your pity pot! Make good use of your time by learning more about sponsorship (what are your obligations? what are the sponsor’s obligations).

Make the Most of Being Sponsor-less
Sometimes we learn more when we are left on our own. It is during these seasons that God can make us stretch and grow without depending on another person. God has ways of speaking directly to our hearts when a third party is not part of the process. God knows who should be your sponsor and when you most need that sponsor. At times it is better not to have a sponsor or buddy because there are periods when you have to do your growning on you own. Nobody can do it for you. It is between God and yourself. It is possible that having a sponsor or buddy would even be an interference at that time of your life.

Work the 12 Steps on your own by employing worksheets, surfing the CIR web site, using the CIR Library,reading workshop transcripts, The Gabriel and good recovery books.

Take time to pray, meditate and draw near to God.