CIR KBs

Christians in Recovery Knowledge Base article

Are You Plowing in Season?

The lazy person does not plow in season;
harvest comes, and there is nothing to be found. Proverbs 20:4


The Lord Jesus, when He walked this earth, took ideas from daily living and made them into ideas of eternal consequence. This proverb, which may have originally been about something as mundane as diligence in one’s work, becomes fraught with importance when placed against the teaching of the Master:

Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and curing every disease and every sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; Therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:35-38 NRSV

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When Loving a Spouse is Difficult

Ask Angie: I cannot seem to find love for my husband. We have been through difficult times and we were not able to work together on anything. There were months when we did not speak to each other and just went on with our lives without communication. I have been hurt so much…. It is wrong but I cannot find forgiveness for him nor seem to be able to detach with love. Our children see the problem we have and now have issues in their lives since we did not show them a good marriage/ family…I have been working on my spirituality so much but still find that my heart is heavy.

Ask Angie: Dear Angie, It’s me again. I was reading the stories about the women who are married to alcoholics. My husband is not an alcoholic though he displays the same kind of behaviors. Life with him is unbearable at times. He told me last night, again, that most of the time he does not want to be married, and during those times he treats me like he does not want to be married. The few times he does want to be married, he looks at me with kindness, it’s very short lived. Then the cycle repeats itself. I am tired. I am getting physically sick from it. How does a Christian woman stay with a (Pastor) husband that 95 percent of the time does not want to be married and shows his wife no love?

Marriage Guidance: I will address the issues that are italicized above. Both of these women are experiencing similar issues in their marriage. Although one is having difficulty loving her husband, the other’s husband is having difficulty loving his wife. Please print out this marriage column and give it to your husbands. Read through the article resources together. Talk about the questions at the end of the articles. Marriage needs both husband and wife to be willing to put in the effort.

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The Functioning Alcoholic

The Functional Alcoholic does not necessarily:

· get drunk every time he or she drinks
· drink a large amount
· have hangovers
· miss a lot of work
· drink during the day, week or month
· drink every day week or month
· look bleary-eyed
· have slurred speech
· stagger
· get unpleasant or belligerent with other people
· drink in the morning
· become physically abusive
· crave a drink
· show up late for work
· have a hangover
· get a DWI/DUI
· ever look drunk
· have blackouts

…the family usually sees the first symptoms, but don’t always know what they mean.

The Functional Alcoholic may have problems with:

· sleeping
· finances
· sex
· thinking

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Won’t You Listen?

Won’t you listen my friend to the words that we share.
Won’t you open your heart to a power that cares.

For within each of our souls is the spirit of living,
Within each of our hearts is a gift of giving.

Won’t you be free my friend to open your mind,
to know God is with us One day at a time.

Copyright 1997, by Neil Wright San Francisco, CA.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

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Denial: Trying to Disguise the Truth

What Cracker?

He who covers his sins will not prosper: but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. Proverbs 28:13

Denial: it’s a ridiculous looking thing.

I once saw a photograph of a mouse, looking straight at the camera, cheeks puffed out to a Saltine’s square shape. And the tag line attached was “What cracker?”

It made me think of my own erratic disordered eating behaviors, including stealing my roommates’ food and dumpster diving.

“…I thought I was hiding my secret well from the outside world. I replenished the food I’d stolen from my roommates. I played ‘beat the clock’ before they came home to notice…

…It became a regular hide and steal, hide and eat, hide and deny game… I knew their schedules by heart. I’d wait for them to leave for class. I’d hurry home, skipping my own classes to ensure enough time alone… I had to eat as much as I could before they came home…

… I’d be first to volunteer among my roommates to take out the trash, because I knew what ‘goodies’ I’d thrown out…

…Trips to the dumpster at 2:30 a.m. were not unusual… I’d rummage through other people’s trash bags…

…I was caught on more than one occasion. I’d try to play it off, pretending everything was normal as people passed by me scrounging in the dumpster. As I became more desperate, however, I began going to the dumpster frequently in broad daylight while other students were coming and going from class… I tried to convince myself I could ‘just act natural’ and disguise the truth…”

I was asking, “What Cracker?”

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Parable of a Rose

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought…

“How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?”

Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and before it was ready to bloom, it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God like qualities planted in us at birth growing amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them.

One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the characteristic of love…. to look at a person and know their true faults. Accepting that person into your life, while recognizing the nobility in their soul.

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How Can You Help Someone Who Needs You?

How can you help someone who needs you?

A while back I was asked to do a workshop for folks who are working in difficult areas of ministries. Since I’m a wheelchair user, I was supposed to offer a seated perspective of things people have done that have been helpful and some that haven’t.

At the start of a new year I thought the list might be useful. These are some ideas. Hopefully you’ll help me with something I’ve missed.

Show up. I seem to always need help at inconvenient times, and I’m grateful for friends who show up even when they’d rather be somewhere else. There’s a difference between Signing Up And Showing Up.

It’s easy to say, “Call me if there’s anything I can do.” It’s hard to ask for help. The real heroes are the folks who show up.

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Alcoholics are Special

Do you know why alcoholics are special? They are special because they have an uncanny ability to keep drinking alcohol even after the last person has left the party. You might be thinking, “That’s not special, that’s downright unhealthy.” Well, what do you think alcoholism is? Alcoholism is unhealthy in every form imaginable – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

Alcoholics have always been a minority of misfits, drinking all night long, hardly able to manage the next morning, until the next drink, and then starting all over again. I’m talking about myself here – I can’t speak for all alcoholics. I literally felt like a misfit when I was in the depths of addiction. Anyway, the repetition or vicious cycle is what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic. If he or she could stop at one or two drinks they wouldn’t be alcoholic, right?

Actually what makes an alcoholic special is the sensitivity of their hearts when they are sober. Notice I said, when they are sober. Through my own research, and asking former alcoholics, I’ve come to the conclusion that alcoholic’s have a high sensitivity level towards people and their feelings that exceeds that of non-alcoholics, in general. This is why sober alcoholics and drug addicts almost always find themselves in a serving type profession helping other people combat their addictions and personal problems.

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At the Pleasure of the Savior (A Big Recovery Key)

One of my favorite series I catch on Netflix is “The West Wing.” While watching it, I became aware of a standard response regarding the president’s staff: “I serve at the pleasure of the President.” I don’t know if this response really exists or if it was just for dramatic purposes. But I started thinking about the service issue.

When I was thirteen, I served as a waitress for my cousin’s wedding. Thank you. Yes, I’m still recovering. Let’s just say I was not skilled. I tried not to spill food, break plates and grumble. It was not an easy feat. So, I had a negative view of serving.

But, alas, it’s all over the place in Christianity, isn’t it?

Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.” Deuteronomy 6:13

“…what doth the LORD thy God require of thee, but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,” Deuteronomy 10:12

“If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.” John 12:26

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The Power of His Resurrection

The fact that Jesus Christ rose again from the dead tells us something very important: our God is in the resurrection business. The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is declared by St. Paul to be the assurance of our own resurrection on God’s appointed day (1 Cor. 15:12-20).

The goal of our lives therefore should be to know Christ and “the power of his resurrection” (Phil 3:10). This means that we cannot lead defeated lives, nor can we evade our responsibilities under God to bring every area of life and thought into captivity to Jesus Christ.

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