Boundaries

How Can I Deal with My Alcoholic Spouse?

Ask Angie: I have been married to an alcoholic for 16 years. I have detached in love and have been very active in my church and creating a life for me and my children outside of the alcoholism. The alcoholic in my life doesn't seem to mind any of this and it actually seems to relieve him from the responsibility to be a dad and husband. He does work hard on his job and so he feels that’s all of his responsibility and likes when he's home to drink all day and play video games and ignore us. I hate being with him. It's a very lonely marriage. My two older children are becoming more upset by his lack of desire to be with them.

Workshop: Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery

Obie-Host Welcome to the "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" Workshop!
We are glad you could join us.
Who would like to open us in prayer this evening?
Heavenly Father.....
We ask that You anoint our speaker Michael tonight.....
as he speaks to us....
open our hearts and our minds to Your truths....
help us to share openly and honestly with one another....
lead those who are in need of fellowship to this workshop....
in the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

Tonight our speaker is Michael Clark. He is a Chaplain, Biblical Counselor and Speaker.
He is also in recovery himself.
Michael will talk for a period of time after which we will open the floor to questions for him.
I now introduce to you Michael.
You now have the floor Michael.

Stop Rescuing the Alcoholic and Start Rescuing You

Ask Angie: Dear Angie, I have been married to an alcoholic husband for eight years now and we have two young children together. We have taken marriage courses and I have been reading the Love Dare. I have tried the detach method but it is difficult since he starts drinking every day at around 9 or 10 in the morning (since he was laid off over six months ago) and drinks until he goes to bed which is usually midnight. If I don't talk to him when he's drinking he gets angry. How can I make the detachment work in this situation and how can I protect our children from his anger?

Unspoken Expectations


…get me in a lot of trouble.

I got disappointed this week.

Disclaimer: I’m only telling this story because I think it contains some valuable lessons. The details don’t matter—this is about my personal failure, nothing else.

# # # # #

A couple of years ago I was invited to be a very small part of a project. No contracts or financial commitments, just a small once-per-week contribution. Four other people, all much more qualified and credible, also joined. I felt pleased and honored to be included.

"Excuses" - Workshop Transcript

note: Members may discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Before we get started, please consider visiting this link and printing

Liberty vs. Toleration

by Rousas J. Rushdoony

One of the areas of profound ignorance today is religious liberty and the meaning thereof. The common pattern throughout history, including in the Roman Empire, has been religious toleration, a very different thing. In religious toleration, the state is paramount, and, in every sphere, its powers are totalitarian. The state is the sovereign or lord, the supreme religious entity and power. The state decrees what and who can exist, and it establishes the terms of existence. The state reserves the power to license and tolerate one or more religions upon its own conditions and subject to state controls, regulation, and supervision.

Our Lives Should be More Like Jazz

I don’t know much about jazz except that I usually like it, especially live. I’m thinking that our lives might be a little richer if they were a little more like jazz.

Jazz music is sort of unscripted. Each song has a basic melody and sometimes words, but the performance is spontaneous. Real jazz isn’t rehearsed like a lot of other music—it’s more of a live interaction between the musicians. They practice and develop their individual skills, but the music happens when they play off one another.

Save Your Marriage By Starting With a Clean Slate

If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.

Heal Marriage After Adultery

Do you want your marriage nursed back to health? If you want your marriage restored it will take some effort on your part. Stop peering over the fence at your neighbor, and put your eyes back in your own yard where they belong.

First, the offended spouse needs to forgive completely (see my article, forgive a cheating spouse), and secondly the offender has to understand why he strayed from the marriage bed in the first place. Infidelity is only a symptom of a greater problem within the framework of the marriage.

If you have been unfaithful or have anything else pulling you away from your spouse, ask yourself why? What am I doing that would cause me to be disloyal? Don’t blame your spouse for your weakness. Grow up and take responsibility.

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