I don’t believe marriage to be that difficult when God is at the center of that marriage, and when we understand that as part of God’s family, we have a great purpose and message to show others, and through that example we become what it is God intends us to be. If we are married then our purpose is to be a considerate marriage partner, not to destroy what God has given us, or to destroy the person we married, but to “be respectful”, to “be loving”.
Below are some of the areas I think we can easily take for granted in marriage. If we put a little bit more effort into these areas of marriage, marriage would not be that difficult. As you know, the statistics say that at least half of all marriages are still together, so that tells you something. What is that half doing that we could learn from?
1. Spending Time Together
Couples who enjoy spending quality time with each other have a good marriage. Whether that time together is playing a sport, working on a hobby, traveling around the world, that quality time together is a must if you want to have a great and awesome marriage.
2. Same Beliefs
Couples absolutely need
to share in the same beliefs, values, and principles so they may get along on an agreeable level. If couples are opposites sides with their beliefs, they will have a difficult time accepting and respecting each other. If you do not believe in the same things, then ask yourselves, why not? What is it that you both can do to come together and bring oneness into the marriage for the good of the relationship?
3. Honest and Open Communications
Communication is one important element of marriage that simply needs some spiritual wisdom. Why do couples not communicate on a deeper level? Mostly because they do not know how to communicate properly, partly because they do not make the time, and partly because their feelings and thoughts have been invalidated by their spouse so many times, they do not want to make waves, or they don’t want to be disagreeable.
Couples need to talk to each other about important things other than the weather and “what’s for dinner.” I encourage couples to appreciate each other’s opinions by being understanding, considerate, and respectful of feelings. Don’t ever put down the feelings of your spouse because you do not feel the same way. How can a spouse want to be open and honest if their feelings are constantly getting browbeaten?
4. Intimacy Kept Alive
I’m not talking about sex here. I’m talking about the bond of closeness. If you notice, I have listed five areas of what makes a marriage great and awesome, and out of those five areas, four of them are about sharing, giving, and having a close bond with your spouse. In my opinion, when we have a good relationship with the Lord and are free to be who it is we are with our spouse, then we are also more sharing, considerate, and loving to our spouse. God gives us the freedom to love.
It goes without saying, a devoted marriage partner is going to work harder on the marriage and do those things they feel that would keep the marriage alive. How does one have devotion? Devotion comes from our attitude. It is a committed heart to the person you married without conditions placed on it. If conditions have been placed on how you will love, then that is not devotion but something else. Being devoted to a person is a selfless attitude of love and commitment.
Devotion comes from our attitude and how we view marriage. If we believe marriage to simply be a place to be loved and find happiness, then we are not really devoted to the marriage or the person we married. But if we believe marriage to be a sanctified and blessed relationship between God and the person we married, then we have set it in our heart to do what it takes to have a great and awesome marriage.
They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green. Psalm 92:14 NIV